She turns 18 in 2 months and has a ridiculous idea that she's going to "get a GED" and be able to make, in her words, "more than $70,000 a year as a dental hygienist" after completing what she thinks will be a simple half year certification course. In her words, she is going to live in "transitional housing" and pay her way with a hypothetical job she thinks she'll be able to get.
Perspective. She's never worked a day in her life, in fact, she refuses to even do basic chores and bullshits her way through them when forced; and and considers even tasks like taking garbage out or washing dishes "too disgusting" for her to do. She hasn't cleaned her room in MONTHS, I cannot fathom how she thinks she is going to handle a steady job. She does not have a driver's license and has not even completed any driver education.
And let's not even talk about managing money, any money she gets her hands on immediately gets spent on clothes or makeup, which typically end up festering on her bedroom's floor. She gets laptop computers more often than most people get their oil changed, she takes no care of her things and everything ends up broken within months of her getting it. My parents keep rolling with it and letting her buy new things with their money because it's the only way to prevent her violent outbursts which usually involves holes being kicked in walls (I'll address the property damage momentarily).
The thing is her grades actually are very good, she's managing a 3.4 GPA right now. She's not at all unintelligent, but she just refuses to do anything, ever, and favors this outright delusion of grandeur that things are going to work out even remotely like she thinks they will.
I've tried explaining this to her. I've also tried explaining to her that financial independence begins legally at 26, not 18, and due to my parents circumstances (despite some recent trouble my parents, on the whole, are well to do) there is no chance in hell that she will qualify for room in a shelter, let alone the fact that she'd be throwing away a VERY pampered life to live in a HOMELESS SHELTER in the unlikely event that somehow managed to occur. I've tried explaining to her that picking the very specific career of dental hygienist because it makes a lot of money on paper is ill-advised, that she has never once in her existence expressed any interest whatsoever in anything involving the cleaning of teeth, that it requires an Associate's degree in addition to certification (she is adamant that she will not go to college), and that it's an extremely competitive job with very few openings. I've tried to tell her she has no work experience, no car, no money, no way to get money, no housing situation, is supported entirely by her parents who subsidize her every whim, and is utterly unprepared for life on her own (to put things in perspective, she didn't know what a utility bill was until we had this conversation and did not know that water is something you have to pay for)
When I brought this up to her, she lost her temper and kicked a hole in the wall the size of a grapefruit.
In the last two years she has developed a very fragile and violent temper and can become explosive with little provocation. A few weeks ago in one of her rages she ended up causing nearly $700 in damage to a professionally made violin I've had since I was 14, and being a grad student whose current only source of income is as a gigging musician severe damage to my instrument was a financial threat as well as kind of a terrible thing for her to do overall. She hadn't just lost control, she went up to my room, ripped it out of its case, and smacked it against a wall (VERY lucky the damage could be repaired). I had it at that point and decided to involve the police hoping that maybe they could straighten her out where we couldn't, my parents just covered for her and (of course) paid for the damage themselves, and I was even scolded for failing to respect "How fragile she is". The professional violin was "fragile", and she seemed to be in control of her actions when she deliberately tried to break it as an act of vengeance for telling her I wouldn't take her out shopping until she finished the chores my mom gave her.
And this "dropping out" thing wasn't just one thing she said when she was having an episode, she's been talking about this for months and refusing (sometimes violently) to listen to reason the whole time.
She's been diagnosed with anxiety disorder but she only takes her medication occasionally (we can't force her) and I've also been recently given reason to suspect she's been experimenting with drugs, she's mentioned that some of her friends often use pot and LSD.
I'm stuck and at my wit's end. My parents are either unable or unwilling to do anything. I don't know if this thread is going to accomplish anything but I REALLY needed a good rant.
UPDATE: After a lengthy meeting with her school counselor it has been impressed on her why dropping out is a terrible idea. She's agreed to remain in high school and is now enrolled in Summer classes.
Perspective. She's never worked a day in her life, in fact, she refuses to even do basic chores and bullshits her way through them when forced; and and considers even tasks like taking garbage out or washing dishes "too disgusting" for her to do. She hasn't cleaned her room in MONTHS, I cannot fathom how she thinks she is going to handle a steady job. She does not have a driver's license and has not even completed any driver education.
And let's not even talk about managing money, any money she gets her hands on immediately gets spent on clothes or makeup, which typically end up festering on her bedroom's floor. She gets laptop computers more often than most people get their oil changed, she takes no care of her things and everything ends up broken within months of her getting it. My parents keep rolling with it and letting her buy new things with their money because it's the only way to prevent her violent outbursts which usually involves holes being kicked in walls (I'll address the property damage momentarily).
The thing is her grades actually are very good, she's managing a 3.4 GPA right now. She's not at all unintelligent, but she just refuses to do anything, ever, and favors this outright delusion of grandeur that things are going to work out even remotely like she thinks they will.
I've tried explaining this to her. I've also tried explaining to her that financial independence begins legally at 26, not 18, and due to my parents circumstances (despite some recent trouble my parents, on the whole, are well to do) there is no chance in hell that she will qualify for room in a shelter, let alone the fact that she'd be throwing away a VERY pampered life to live in a HOMELESS SHELTER in the unlikely event that somehow managed to occur. I've tried explaining to her that picking the very specific career of dental hygienist because it makes a lot of money on paper is ill-advised, that she has never once in her existence expressed any interest whatsoever in anything involving the cleaning of teeth, that it requires an Associate's degree in addition to certification (she is adamant that she will not go to college), and that it's an extremely competitive job with very few openings. I've tried to tell her she has no work experience, no car, no money, no way to get money, no housing situation, is supported entirely by her parents who subsidize her every whim, and is utterly unprepared for life on her own (to put things in perspective, she didn't know what a utility bill was until we had this conversation and did not know that water is something you have to pay for)
When I brought this up to her, she lost her temper and kicked a hole in the wall the size of a grapefruit.
In the last two years she has developed a very fragile and violent temper and can become explosive with little provocation. A few weeks ago in one of her rages she ended up causing nearly $700 in damage to a professionally made violin I've had since I was 14, and being a grad student whose current only source of income is as a gigging musician severe damage to my instrument was a financial threat as well as kind of a terrible thing for her to do overall. She hadn't just lost control, she went up to my room, ripped it out of its case, and smacked it against a wall (VERY lucky the damage could be repaired). I had it at that point and decided to involve the police hoping that maybe they could straighten her out where we couldn't, my parents just covered for her and (of course) paid for the damage themselves, and I was even scolded for failing to respect "How fragile she is". The professional violin was "fragile", and she seemed to be in control of her actions when she deliberately tried to break it as an act of vengeance for telling her I wouldn't take her out shopping until she finished the chores my mom gave her.
And this "dropping out" thing wasn't just one thing she said when she was having an episode, she's been talking about this for months and refusing (sometimes violently) to listen to reason the whole time.
She's been diagnosed with anxiety disorder but she only takes her medication occasionally (we can't force her) and I've also been recently given reason to suspect she's been experimenting with drugs, she's mentioned that some of her friends often use pot and LSD.
I'm stuck and at my wit's end. My parents are either unable or unwilling to do anything. I don't know if this thread is going to accomplish anything but I REALLY needed a good rant.
UPDATE: After a lengthy meeting with her school counselor it has been impressed on her why dropping out is a terrible idea. She's agreed to remain in high school and is now enrolled in Summer classes.
