Help please (with a girl)
- Thread starter Nillz
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You and your friend have to back off for a while and talk about it. Decide which off you is going to "go after her". Trust me, if it turns into a competition between the two of you, not only will your friendship be ruined, but the girl will feel crowded and won't like either of you.Nillz said:
[sub][sub]And if all else fails, there's always chloroform. *laugh*[/sub][/sub]
Man Law dictates that you must allow him to try his chances first. If she says no, you give him six days to rebound and then take your chance.
Honestly, though, you should get to know her before you run off and possibly make your friend angry. You said you don't know her well, so how do you know you like her so much?
Honestly, though, you should get to know her before you run off and possibly make your friend angry. You said you don't know her well, so how do you know you like her so much?
This is what you do. Tell your friend in all seriousness, "If you don't ask her to go out on a date with you this or next weekend, I'm going to ask her out." It's blunt and true. Your friend called dibs, so he gets the first shot. If he isn't willing to take the shot, then it's your turn.Nillz said:
As for asking her out, just do it. The best that can happen is you go on a great date and snag yourself a girlfriend, the worst is that she just tells you no(or possibly, I just see you as a friend. Which I'll admit, stings a little). If she does say no, don't let it get to you, just move on.
But you don't really KNOW her. You have to assume from the things you do know that she's someone you'd like. Like I said, give it more time, get more of a feel for where she's coming from.Nillz said:
Talk to yout friend about it. See if you can work it out, and if not, then make up your own mind about what to do.
Well I would be honest with your friend about how you feel too. That shows how much you respect him for a start, and hopefully if he wants to respect you too that means he wouldn't ask her out if he knew how much you liked her as well.
Problem with this is it kinda stops you from asking her out too if he won't do it to save his friendship with you but maybe you two can both agree to see which one of you she likes?
You never know, unfortunately she might not like either of you like that. Just approach it in a mature way so that you don't scare her away or upset your friend in the process but I do honestly think it would be better to be honest with him x
Problem with this is it kinda stops you from asking her out too if he won't do it to save his friendship with you but maybe you two can both agree to see which one of you she likes?
You never know, unfortunately she might not like either of you like that. Just approach it in a mature way so that you don't scare her away or upset your friend in the process but I do honestly think it would be better to be honest with him x
Your parents must have conceived you in a win wagon.Phyroxis said:Kortney has it right. Thats what I've done.. Unless this guy is your best friend, screw him. My best friend did it to me, I got over it. She wasn't that great anyway.
(Take nothing below this line seriously... seriously)
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OT: Get to know her while and keep out of the friend zone
Though I think it has already been said more or less.
Your best bet is to leave it alone if you care for that friend.
If he gets rejected and you ask her out and get accepted that most certainly will create rifts in your relationship with your friend.
You could risk causing problems and asking your friend outright if you can date her if she rejects him...
BUT I MUST EMPHASIZE THIS POINT: If you do ask her out before he does and he knows you knew his feelings for her this will be seen as and basically is a betrayal. If you take this course of action do not expect him to be that friendly towards you in the future.
Your best bet is to leave it alone if you care for that friend.
If he gets rejected and you ask her out and get accepted that most certainly will create rifts in your relationship with your friend.
You could risk causing problems and asking your friend outright if you can date her if she rejects him...
BUT I MUST EMPHASIZE THIS POINT: If you do ask her out before he does and he knows you knew his feelings for her this will be seen as and basically is a betrayal. If you take this course of action do not expect him to be that friendly towards you in the future.
Kortney said:First of all, as a female myself, I would advise you against asking her out on a whim. Only in the movies does asking a girl out you barely know actually work. Unless you are some super hunk of a man, and you and her both know 100% without ANY doubt that you are into each other, asking her out straight off the bat isn't going to work.
My advice would be to do the boring thing. Just keep getting to know her. - just let it take it's natural course. However, try to express your interest subtley after you have gotten to know her fairly well. Don't get into the friend zone. Don't sit there are befriend this girl for months and end up a close friend - because then you are screwed.
Just get to know her a bit better, find out if she is into you and go from there.
About your friend; who cares. If you like the girl, go for her. It's all fair game until she is in a relationship with someone. Go for it man
ahh the dreaded friend zone...many a men have been lost to this terrible place. I think it should be clearly marked somehow
oh and what she said...literally, well other than the 'being a female myself' since I am not
While your profile doesn't list a daote of birth, I assume you're around 15 or something, based on all the othe relationship threads.´If this is not right then ignore me.
If i'm right, then chances are that IF you get this girl, chances are, that you're only gonna be dating for some months, based on the experieces of me and everyone i knew back in gymnasium.
Your friend on the other hand is someone theres a big chance you're gonna be friends with for amny years to come.
So first of all, clear things out with your friend, loosing years of friendship over what most likely will be a few months of dating (if any at all) is not worth it.
If you clear thiongs out, and he says it's okay you go for the girl, just talk to her a little bit, and then ask her out.
If you're at parties togeather it'll only make things easier, but if i have to continue assumign you're around 15 you're prolly not gonan be at drunken parties seeing as you're from the states. (Damn things are easier in Denmark where peopel start drinking around age 15)
But just worry less, and act more, talk a little more with her, get to know her a little and ask her out on a date.
If i'm right, then chances are that IF you get this girl, chances are, that you're only gonna be dating for some months, based on the experieces of me and everyone i knew back in gymnasium.
Your friend on the other hand is someone theres a big chance you're gonna be friends with for amny years to come.
So first of all, clear things out with your friend, loosing years of friendship over what most likely will be a few months of dating (if any at all) is not worth it.
If you clear thiongs out, and he says it's okay you go for the girl, just talk to her a little bit, and then ask her out.
If you're at parties togeather it'll only make things easier, but if i have to continue assumign you're around 15 you're prolly not gonan be at drunken parties seeing as you're from the states. (Damn things are easier in Denmark where peopel start drinking around age 15)
But just worry less, and act more, talk a little more with her, get to know her a little and ask her out on a date.
My advice before reading the OP was going to be "talk to her". My advice after reading the OP would probably be "talk to them". Either you explain both of 'm where you stand and your only risk is losing your chance at te girl, or you take the risk Douk mentioned earlier and go for it on a "first come, first serve" basis. I would personally probably go for the first, hence why that's gonna be my advice.
Edit: On a sidenote regarding the topic a few posts op - is it just me or is the friends-zone the bermuda triangle? Think about it. Hordes of men get lost there on a regular basis, it ruins lives and nobody is even sure why it exists or what it's use is.
Edit: On a sidenote regarding the topic a few posts op - is it just me or is the friends-zone the bermuda triangle? Think about it. Hordes of men get lost there on a regular basis, it ruins lives and nobody is even sure why it exists or what it's use is.
So you have talked to her a grand total of three times? Pass on it sounds like he has a much better shot than you, and to be frank three convos means you know utterly feck all about the girl if it was a harmless pickup 10 weeks of watching is abit much, anyway bro's before ho's