Here is the relationship advice you all really need
- Thread starter Nwabudike Morgan
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Most likely when you've been together long enough that the original spark is gone but you are more comfortable with each other. One or both of you will be really tired and it will be about something trivial, yet you'll both get ubelievably worked up over it.DarthFennec said:
You...just...wow. I mean, I won't say I didn't know almost all of this already, seeing as I'm in the middle of my college years and hence have had my share of both "childish" and "semi-adult" relationships--and, inevitably, breakups--but the clarity with which you just stated that information was...I don't even know. I've been more or less in a funk since my dearly-beloved girlfriend dumped me horrifically about a month back, and for whatever reason, seeing the cycle of what our relationship was laid out so simply--even the "really, really ugly" part--helped. Quite a bit. For whatever reason, a complete stranger gave me a measure of peace that none of my closest friends have been able to provide. God bless, man.
Knowing that people aren't going to have to learn the hard way like I did is it's own reward.Eggsnham said:
Yes. Let her do most of the sucking. (PREDICTABLE JOKE.)Fusoiya said:
[sub]In all seriousness: It'll be awkward no matter what. There's almost no avoiding it. Just don't make a capital public case out of it, and it's possible she won't even notice. You'll learn from each other as the relationship progresses.[/sub]
And if you're in America, I'll echo that offer.Wizzie said:
We've been to that point plenty of times, but we've never fought, we've always just calmly worked it out. So that won't continue to happen? Anyway, if it does, I don't think it'll be for a while. We met in High School, and we're states apart now, in college, so we obviously don't spend much time together except through email and Skype sometimes. That'll keep going for quite a few more years.BeeRye said:
They will though. Some will be romantics who believe that all relationships are like those happy montages from the movies. Others will read and understand but fail to apply what they have learned. I honestly think its something you have to learn from experience, and even with experience sometimes you don't learn. I don't know how many times I chased a girl I knew in my own head I couldn't get, but just thought along the lines of "this time will be different". You have to have the ability to recognise when something is a stupid dream, and further you have to have mental fortitude to man-up and let stupid dreams go, which is something that can be incredibly difficult for the best of us to do.Nwabudike Morgan said:
Oh, I can't believe I forgot this, once you have gotten the whole first attempt at sex out of the way, take it the least seriously you possibly can, think about what you're actually doing. You're mashing genitals. When you get down to it, it's really silly.
Also I hate to do this to you guys, but I have a 5 hour drive tomorrow and really need to slip into bed.
Also I hate to do this to you guys, but I have a 5 hour drive tomorrow and really need to slip into bed.
Can I get a Hallelujah?Nwabudike Morgan said:
Women aren't another species, they're humans. Humans with boobs and no penis, but humans. Treat them as such and not like a puzzle or something to "get" or "figure out".
And to add a bit of my own two cents: don't hide things you're not proud of. It'll all come out eventually, one way or another, if there's something real between the two of you. And when that happens, it can be very painful for everyone; best to have your skeletons out of the closet than to let them stumble across them and freak out.
If you never find something to fight over you'll be the first. The longer you spend together the more mundane it becomes to be around each other on a regular basis. It's inescapable really. It's not like fighting is the end of the world in any case. I personally wouldn't be too hung up on a long distance relationship with a highschool sweetheart as well, though that's just me.DarthFennec said:
I can see that. The way we are together, I expect we'll be able to keep life interesting for a while, but that won't last forever. As to why I'm hung up on a high school sweetheart, well, we're still in love, I haven't been attracted to anyone from college, and we're perfectly fine doing it long distance, as I've already said, so to me it's just logical. Right now we want to end up together, and as long as that doesn't change, I don't see why we shouldn't still date. But I guess that's just me. It doesn't make sense to me that people would break up because one's going out of state for a while.BeeRye said:
This is QFT. I've had a few fights with my boyfriend, and each time we were all right after a little time to cool down. If you have the fight to end it all, you'll know it without even thinking.Nwabudike Morgan said:
Actually, wait a minute. I just realized why I think arguing with her is so unlikely. I'm not sure how you guys see relationships, but I don't see how it can be any different from living with a best friend, except you have sex with the person. I've lived with my best friends for years at a time, and I've never argued with any of them, so I don't see how this would be any different. Maybe I just haven't had enough time, maybe it takes decades for us to have our first fight, but right now it just seems unlikely, I think because of that. I know I probably sound childish right now, but still ...DarthFennec said:
Wow... that was really, really smart. You know what you're talking about, man. That actually helped me realize some things about my life. Probably the first time an Internet thread has done that for me.
