High School Help

[I Have No Idea]

I'm not sure how many of you are in high school right now or remember it well enough to answer, but I'm asking anyway. I'm in a weird spot. I'm not in the popular crowd, but I'm definitely not in the nerd/anime/anti-social one either. I'm pretty much in the middle. I have friends from all social groups and I get along with basically everyone I meet. But outside of school I don't do much. I'd like to, but it never happens. Nobody invites me to anything. Like I said before, it's not like I'm the awkward kid or a douche canoe - I just never really get invited to anything. Only one of my friends has invited me to anything, like Waffle House trips, movies, stuff like that. It was with a bunch of his friends that I knew but didn't know very well, but we all got along fine and had a great time. But it's only happened a couple of times. And I'm starting to feel kind of lonely. My parents think I'm anti-social, too, since I never get out often (or as often as my older brother did when he was in high school). I'm not introverted - I'm totally willing to be social. Any ideas on how to fix this odd predicament?

Oh, and I never set anything up myself because I'm absolutely horrible at stuff like that. Trust me.

 

[awsome117]

I'm not sure how many of you are in high school right now or remember it well enough to answer,

Well I just got out of high school and into college so I'll do my best

but I'm asking anyway. I'm in a weird spot. I'm not in the popular crowd, but I'm definitely not in the nerd/anime/anti-social one either.

Woah, I take offense to that. As a member of the computer AND anime club, I find it very wrong to say we're "anti-social". We're weird I'll give you that.

I'm pretty much in the middle.

While High School Musical will have you believing there are "cliches", there really aren't. As long as you get along with the people you hang with, it doesn't matter what they do/don't do. I used to play football in the park with some of my friends, and halo and battlefield with some of my others.

I have friends from all social groups and I get along with basically everyone I meet.

I find that very hard to believe. No offense to you personally, I just don't believe that anyone can get along with almost everyone they meet. Just impossible.

But outside of school I don't do much. I'd like to, but it never happens. Nobody invites me to anything. Like I said before, it's not like I'm the awkward kid or a douche canoe - I just never really get invited to anything. Only one of my friends has invited me to anything, like Waffle House trips, movies, stuff like that. It was with a bunch of his friends that I knew but didn't know very well, but we all got along fine and had a great time. But it's only happened a couple of times. And I'm starting to feel kind of lonely. My parents think I'm anti-social, too, since I never get out often (or as often as my older brother did when he was in high school). I'm not introverted - I'm totally willing to be social. Any ideas on how to fix this odd predicament?

Oh, and I never set anything up myself because I'm absolutely horrible at stuff like that. Trust me.

Simply solution: ask what people are doing. If they are free, ask if they want to hang out. If not, see if they want to play xbox, ps3 or whatever.

And set up somethings yourself. If your friends invite you places, why don't you invite them places? They ask other people to come, and before you know it, ten people are hanging out in the park playing football.

 

[I Have No Idea]

Woah, I take offense to that. As a member of the computer AND anime club, I find it very wrong to say we're "anti-social". We're weird I'll give you that.

No no no no, I never said that. Notice the slashes in between the words. I put those there to separate them into different groups. I never called the anime lovers anti-social, I meant it as "I'm in the nerd group or anime group and I'm not anti-social." (Anime doesn't get much love at my school outside from the people who like it) Sorry about that. Hope I didn't piss you off too much

I find that very hard to believe. No offense to you personally, I just don't believe that anyone can get along with almost everyone they meet. Just impossible.

Maybe it was different at your school. But (this is going to sound big headed) I'm the nicest guy I know. I honestly don't think I have any enemies or anything like that.

P.S. Thanks for the help

 

[awsome117]

No no no no, I never said that. Notice the slashes in between the words. I put those there to separate them into different groups. I never called the anime lovers anti-social, I meant it as "I'm in the nerd group or anime group and I'm not anti-social." (Anime doesn't get much love at my school outside from the people who like it) Sorry about that. Hope I didn't piss you off too much

lol ok, but the group thing again doesn't really exist in high school. It's all in your mind really.

Maybe it was different at your school. But (this is going to sound big headed) I'm the nicest guy I know. I honestly don't think I have any enemies or anything like that.

P.S. Thanks for the help

Trust me, I know. I'm the nicest guy I (and everyone who meets me tells this) know. However, I don't get along with everyone, as they simply clash with my personality.

But no problem, any other questions about high school you have?

 

[BloatedGuppy]

But (this is going to sound big headed) I'm the nicest guy I know.

I'm the nicest guy I (and everyone who meets me tells this) know.

Heh. Everyone thinks they're the nicest person in the world when you're growing up. It's really not until MUCH later in life that you get some perspective on all the times you were actually being a giant asshole.

I'm not sure how many of you are in high school right now or remember it well enough to answer, but I'm asking anyway. I'm in a weird spot. I'm not in the popular crowd, but I'm definitely not in the nerd/anime/anti-social one either. I'm pretty much in the middle. I have friends from all social groups and I get along with basically everyone I meet. But outside of school I don't do much. I'd like to, but it never happens. Nobody invites me to anything. Like I said before, it's not like I'm the awkward kid or a douche canoe - I just never really get invited to anything. Only one of my friends has invited me to anything, like Waffle House trips, movies, stuff like that. It was with a bunch of his friends that I knew but didn't know very well, but we all got along fine and had a great time. But it's only happened a couple of times. And I'm starting to feel kind of lonely. My parents think I'm anti-social, too, since I never get out often (or as often as my older brother did when he was in high school). I'm not introverted - I'm totally willing to be social. Any ideas on how to fix this odd predicament?

It's not really an odd predicament. The assumption that everyone else is leading exciting, socially fulfilling lives while we languish at home is a pretty common delusion. Everyone always thinks they should be having a lot more fun than they are, especially at your age. You seem to get along with people well, and have a generally positive attitude. You're actually doing better than a lot of people with your high school years, which can be trying at the best of times and positively destructive for some. Don't fuss about how many friends you have. Making and maintaining friendships that have any value whatsoever is actually incredibly time and energy consuming, and it only gets more so as you age. If you have a tiny handful of quality friends, you're doing well. There will always be times in your life when you feel a little lonely. Count your blessings. You could always be feeling harried by a host of needy acquaintances.

 

[awsome117]

Heh. Everyone thinks they're the nicest person in the world when you're growing up. It's really not until MUCH later in life that you get some perspective on all the times you were actually being a giant asshole.

Well I know I am a giant asshole a lot of the time. However, I am still the nicest asshole of the bunch lol

 

[Crazy]

Ask to hang out with your friends, don't wait.

 

[Batou667]

Yeah, propose things yourself. If you don't have the confidence to try being the organiser/leader (that'll come in time) you can always make suggestions to the "alpha" of your group and convince them that it was their idea to begin with...

Also, clubs. Sports clubs, chess club, gym, whatever. Do stuff in your evenings and you'll never be bored.

 

[Florion]

Maybe, because you're a floater, people don't feel close enough to you to invite you to anything? Even if you get along really well with people, in high school, if they feel like you don't care enough to be consistently connected, they won't bother.

Fortunately, this stops being a problem in university, when none of your friends have classes together or time to hang out constantly. But in the meantime, Batou667's got the right idea - just do lots of extracurricular stuff, and not only will you not be bored, but you'll probably make close friends with people in those clubs. Being able to connect with people from all crowds is a rare and beautiful gift, you are a very lucky person.

 

[Slash Dementia]

If you wait for them to ask, they'll probably think you don't want to and only invite you to some things. Ask your friends if they want to hang out--you choose the place--and see what happens.

I've always been really nice to everyone that I meet, and it's just my personality, but I don't get invited anywhere with anyone most of the time. I have to ask them if we can go out somewhere.

 

[Galletea]

I must admit it has been a while since I was in school. However I do know how you feel. I was also in this situation, I got on well with almost everyone but didn't really have many friends, and never got invited to social gatherings. I remedied this situation by taking the initiative. I went out and made new friends outside of high school. It's easier if you have one good friend you can invite out to somewhere and try and meet new people that way.
It depends on you really. If you want to hang out with the people you know, then ask them if they want to go do something. If you're not bothered, then go out make some new friends. It is a bit daunting but it's worth it in the end. I hardly speak to anyone I knew at school now but I still keep in touch with my other friends.

 

[dryan21]

I was the same kind of person, moved to college now and have kind of been forced into a small friendship group. But I had the same problem, to be honest you cant carry on trying to be friends with everyone, if you start hanging out with one or two certain friendship groups they will accept you a lot more, and probably start inviting you to things.