Hilarious dialogue in games

[gmaverick019_v1legacy]

"When was the last time the wind said hostiles to you?!"

"Well we're not here to sell cookies, so they know something 's up"

And anything from the age of empires taunts.

LOL loved that part of gears of war, i played that section easily 100 times, that line never got old

 

[TyrantGanado]

Haggard: "Aren't ya goin' ta help us, Flynn?"
Flynn: "What, me? No, I'm a pacifist"
Haggard: "Pacifist? How can you be God dammed a pacifist?"
Flynn: "Yeah, it's bad for my karma man. I don't mess with karma, I just fly"
Marlowe: "Hags...let it go!"
Haggard: "Fuck that! That don't fly with me space muffin. I'm going to knock you to the God damned magic kingdom"
Flynn: " Love you, man"
Haggard: "Ya silly God damned muffin headed fuckin' liberal!"

Haggard is seven shades of awesome

Haggard: "We're just waiting on CSI: New Jersey here to tell us what we already know"

 

[DethPenguin]

Metal Arms: Glitch in the System anyone?

 

[Sacman]

"All your base are belong to us"
- Zero Wing

"What you say!!"

 

[Freedomario]

"WHO IN THE FLAME ARE YOU?!"
"OH NO THE SHAUGAN HAVE FOUND ME"
-Some stupid Npc in Dungeons and Dragons Online
woo, nerdy game dialog!

 

[ffs-dontcare]

I found a lot of the dialogue in Crysis: Warhead to be quite humourous for some reason - not because it was badly written (which it wasn't - it was actually very good), but because it was well-acted and showed that at least Psycho and O'Neill aren't all srs bizns.

I loved the dialogue during the long-ass train ride sequence, especially O'Neill's perfectly-delivered line, "You know what? FUCK Nomad!"

 

[Lamppenkeyboard]

Every second of Lungfishopolis in Psychonauts.

"Goggalor's destroyed the orphanage!"
"Wait, no! It was the puppy orphanage!"

That goes for most anything from Psychonauts XD

 

[The Heik]

What are some of the funniest things characters have said in games?

- Mordin's "Scientist Salarian". Made me laugh for a good fifteen minutes.

- Any of the Bard's dialogue from Bard's Tale. nothing like making fun of any and every RPG archetype

 

[Yassen]

I have some favourites from ME2.

Shephard: "I'm asking you to be my ally, you don't want to be my enemy."
Garrus: "They have a way of dying."

Mordin: "Can't talk now, discovered a sexually transmitted disease amoung the normandy crew that is only carried by verrun. *deep breathe* implications unpleasant." (verrun is a dog like alien)

Security guard: "Hey hey, you're not supposed to be up here, what are you doing?"
Shephard: "Me? What are you still doing here. The bomb is about to go off any second. Get out now before it blows!"
Security guard: "Blows? what..."
Shephard: "RUN!"
Security guard: "Alright!" *runs*
Shephard: *chuckles to himself* "I can't believe that actually worked."

Then there's the drunken scene with Ogrin in dragon age.

Ogrin: "You sod, tell that dog to give it back."
Me: "Oh I see, you're having 'Ogrin time'."
Ogrin: "If by Ogrin time you mean *chuckles* yeah. But that dog ruined it when he stole my pants."
Me: "But you're wearing your pants."
Ogrin: "But the dog doesn't know that. It'll be his sodding downfall. You hear that nug humper! I'm coming for ya! Prepare to die!" *collapses drunk*

I literally cried with laughter after that scene.

 

[VanQ]

I don't know what can top this......

And let's not forget all the sexual innuendo during battles from Ar Tonelico 2.

Cloche: "It's overflowing from inside!"

Luca's are the best though.

"You're so good!"

"I can't take it anymore!"

"I can feel it, stronger!"

OMG now that was brilliant, I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

 

[Arisato-kun]

I don't know what can top this......

And let's not forget all the sexual innuendo during battles from Ar Tonelico 2.

Cloche: "It's overflowing from inside!"

Luca's are the best though.

"You're so good!"

"I can't take it anymore!"

"I can feel it, stronger!"

OMG now that was brilliant, I haven't laughed so hard in a long time.

The best part is that it's all done intentionally.

 

[Scunner]

"Who goes to war in a cowboy hat"
"Uh, cowboys"
"Cowboys havent been in a war in over 200 years"
"Dallas Cowboys go to war every Sunday, sometimes Monday"

Sweetwater and Haggard from Bad Company 2

I loved their conversation about the best scene in Predator.

 

[kawaiiamethist]

Anything that came out of Jansen's mouth was pure win

 

[James Hueick]

In Tales of Vesperia there is a skit in witch
Judith says "I wonder if I should show a little more.... you know."
To which Raven replies "OH YES OH GOD YES!"

 

[Henrik Persson]

HK-47: "Translation: 98% probability that members of the miniature organic's tribe are being held by Sand People, master. Doubtless he wishes assistance. ... Translation: 2% probability that the miniature organic is simply looking for trouble and needs to be blasted. That may be wishful thinking on my part, master."

HK-47: "Answer: Simply that the distinction between 'killer' and 'killee' be a clear one. I cannot kill of my own volition, naturally."
Revan: "I don't think 'killee' is a word."
HK-47: "Expletive: Damn it, master, I am an assassination droid... not a dictionary!"

HK-47: "That is not it, master. No, that is not it either. *Sigh* that is a hinge, master."

Jolee Bindo: "I did it all for the Wookiees."
Revan: "The Wookiees?"
Jolee Bindo: "The Wookiees!"

Lashowe: "Do you know how many Sith there are on this planet?"
Jolee Bindo: "Twelve! No, wait! Thirteen!"
Canderous Ordo: "Nice one, old man."
Jolee Bindo: "Thank you. It takes effort to be properly irreverent at my age."

"My hearing's not so good. I'm just pleased my nice master doesn't beat me so much anymore, yes sir."
―Jolee Bindo, pretending to be Revan's slave on Korriban[src]

 

[tklivory]

- Any of the Bard's dialogue from Bard's Tale. nothing like making fun of any and every RPG archetype

THIS.

Narrator: The Bard having slain the random wolf found that it had digested not only the contents of a small treasury but also various household goods... wait am I reading that correctl? That can't be right.

Bard: You'd be surprised. I find all kinds of things inside these beasties. Did I ever tell ou about the time I killed this rat and out popped an entire chest...

Narrator: Well, I'm just going to skip those passages in the future.

Bard: What? That's a major source of income! You cheap, good for nothing horse's...

Narrator: *Ahem* And so the Bard continued on his journey.

Spoiler: And if you want to watch it (Recommended, since it's Cary Elwes voicing the bard)

Spoiler: One more scene with a trio of singing goblins at the end

 

[ThePreshFrince]

"Who goes to war in a cowboy hat"
"Uh, cowboys"
"Cowboys havent been in a war in over 200 years"
"Dallas Cowboys go to war every Sunday, sometimes Monday"

Sweetwater and Haggard from Bad Company 2

wat, the cowboys suck

but that is funny.

also, anything from fallout 2.