HOLY SH** ZOMBIES

[ubermonkey37]

OMG it's the zombie apocalypse!! You woke up them morning and found out your family/random hobo (whichever applies) has turned into zombie(s)!! First you beat them to death with your baseball bat/other random hobo (whichever applies). You turn on the radio and you hear that it's a global event and the city will be quarantine in fifteen minutes. Even worse, the virus will mutate in half an hour making the zombies much more violent so travel in the city/town will be impossible. They say that a small percentage of people are immune because of a defective batch of Twinkee's that built up your antibodies. What do you do?

The rules are simple.
1. Any location that you want to go to hold out in must be at maximum 30 minutes away without using major roads A.K.A residential streets.
2. If you choose to leave the city/town, you must be able to get to the nearest exit without using any major roads (would be cluttered with abandoned cars) in less than 15 minutes
3. Don't just say you'll blast your way through the zombies. These aren't L4D zombies, these zombies need to be filled with their own body weight in lead.

Just explain your situation and what you would do/where would you go.

I live in a major city surrounded by many very small towns. I live relatively near the edge but I would never get out in time using residental streets. I would head to my high school and hide out on the third floor with my baseball bat. There's lots of food there and 4 of the 5 stair cases have steel gates or heavy wooden doors. I would throw every chair, desk, and computer onto the main staircase until it was impossible to get up.

 

[pixie veins]

First off, Where was I? If my entire family has been changed, why did the virus skip me?

 

[SaunaKalja]

I'll check the internet and if there's any more of these threads I'll kill myself. And I'm not talking about what I'll do in a zombie apocalypse.

 

[C117]

I arm myself with the crowbar we've got in the cellar, snatch some money on the way out, take my bicycle and ride all the way to my dentist, where I barricade myself in the waiting room.

I'm actually serious...

 

[APPCRASH]

Oh sweet baby Jesus another one.

I'm not entirely sure on what the Army's SOP on zombie apocalypses are, but mostly likely they will just me to the largest concentration of zombies for some "cleansing."

 

[ubermonkey37]

Ty, I'll edit it.

 

[Adanos]

I would become a zombie. Zombies have souls too you know.

 

[Fraeir]

I live in a village in the mountains in a municipality with a little over 1000 people, I wouldn't be swarmed by zombies
There's also three shotguns and four rifles in the barn outside. I also have a real Mk2 Grenade within arms reach, but... that might be completely harmless due to -possibly- being emptied on explosives, so I'd take my bet with the guns.

 

[DuplicateValue]

I glance out the window to confirm my belief that there is no zombie apocalypse, as there is no such things as zombies and the idea is impossible.

I then roll my eyes and sigh heavily at the fact that yet another stupid zombie survival thread has shown up in the recent posts section of the Escapist, and quietly question why people are such idiots.

 

[Trivun]

OMG it's the zombie apocalypse!! You woke up them morning and found out your family/random hobo (whichever applies) has turned into zombie(s)!! First you beat them to death with your baseball bat/other random hobo (whichever applies). You turn on the radio and you hear that it's a global event and the city will be quarantine in fifteen minutes. Even worse, the virus will mutate in half an hour making the zombies much more violent so travel in the city/town will be impossible. They say that a small percentage of people are immune because of a defective batch of Twinkee's that built up your antibodies. What do you do?

The rules are simple.
1. Any location that you want to go to hold out in must be at maximum 30 minutes away without using major roads A.K.A residential streets.
2. If you choose to leave the city/town, you must be able to get to the nearest exit without using any major roads (would be cluttered with abandoned cars) in less than 15 minutes
3. Don't just say you'll blast your way through the zombies. These aren't L4D zombies, these zombies need to be filled with their own body weight in lead.

Just explain your situation and what you would do/where would you go.

I live in a major city surrounded by many very small towns. I live relatively near the edge but I would never get out in time using residental streets. I would head to my high school and hide out on the third floor with my baseball bat. There's lots of food there and 4 of the 5 stair cases have steel gates or heavy wooden doors. I would throw every chair, desk, and computer onto the main staircase until it was impossible to get up.

You do that. Then when the military nuke the place to contain the infection, you'll be dead, so the rest of your potential plans are rendered null and void. Nice knowing you

As for me, I'd grab a kitchen knife for protection against looters, then make my way (running) to the main A-road near university (which is itself probably a 5-10 minute jog) and follow it out of town. I don't really care about that rule, since on foot I can get through any cars blocking the road. I'm not driving, I don't have a car. So I'll run or jog along the main road and I'll be out of the city before the nukes hit in half an hour

P.S. There's a TA base not too far from said main road, so I can get supplies and weapons there if necessary, and if I fail to get out in time that's great place to hold up.

 

[Adanos]

OMG it's the zombie apocalypse!! You woke up them morning and found out your family/random hobo (whichever applies) has turned into zombie(s)!! First you beat them to death with your baseball bat/other random hobo (whichever applies). You turn on the radio and you hear that it's a global event and the city will be quarantine in fifteen minutes. Even worse, the virus will mutate in half an hour making the zombies much more violent so travel in the city/town will be impossible. They say that a small percentage of people are immune because of a defective batch of Twinkee's that built up your antibodies. What do you do?

The rules are simple.
1. Any location that you want to go to hold out in must be at maximum 30 minutes away without using major roads A.K.A residential streets.
2. If you choose to leave the city/town, you must be able to get to the nearest exit without using any major roads (would be cluttered with abandoned cars) in less than 15 minutes
3. Don't just say you'll blast your way through the zombies. These aren't L4D zombies, these zombies need to be filled with their own body weight in lead.


Just explain your situation and what you would do/where would you go.

I live in a major city surrounded by many very small towns. I live relatively near the edge but I would never get out in time using residental streets. I would head to my high school and hide out on the third floor with my baseball bat. There's lots of food there and 4 of the 5 stair cases have steel gates or heavy wooden doors. I would throw every chair, desk, and computer onto the main staircase until it was impossible to get up.

You do that. Then when the military nuke the place to contain the infection, you'll be dead, so the rest of your potential plans are rendered null and void. Nice knowing you

As for me, I'd grab a kitchen knife for protection against looters, then make my way (running) to the main A-road near university (which is itself probably a 5-10 minute jog) and follow it out of town. I don't really care about that rule, since on foot I can get through any cars blocking the road. I'm not driving, I don't have a car. So I'll run or jog along the main road and I'll be out of the city before the nukes hit in half an hour

P.S. There's a TA base not too far from said main road, so I can get supplies and weapons there if necessary, and if I fail to get out in time that's great place to hold up.

Wait, what, you would outrun a nuke???

 

[Trivun]

OMG it's the zombie apocalypse!! You woke up them morning and found out your family/random hobo (whichever applies) has turned into zombie(s)!! First you beat them to death with your baseball bat/other random hobo (whichever applies). You turn on the radio and you hear that it's a global event and the city will be quarantine in fifteen minutes. Even worse, the virus will mutate in half an hour making the zombies much more violent so travel in the city/town will be impossible. They say that a small percentage of people are immune because of a defective batch of Twinkee's that built up your antibodies. What do you do?

The rules are simple.
1. Any location that you want to go to hold out in must be at maximum 30 minutes away without using major roads A.K.A residential streets.
2. If you choose to leave the city/town, you must be able to get to the nearest exit without using any major roads (would be cluttered with abandoned cars) in less than 15 minutes
3. Don't just say you'll blast your way through the zombies. These aren't L4D zombies, these zombies need to be filled with their own body weight in lead.


Just explain your situation and what you would do/where would you go.

I live in a major city surrounded by many very small towns. I live relatively near the edge but I would never get out in time using residental streets. I would head to my high school and hide out on the third floor with my baseball bat. There's lots of food there and 4 of the 5 stair cases have steel gates or heavy wooden doors. I would throw every chair, desk, and computer onto the main staircase until it was impossible to get up.

You do that. Then when the military nuke the place to contain the infection, you'll be dead, so the rest of your potential plans are rendered null and void. Nice knowing you

As for me, I'd grab a kitchen knife for protection against looters, then make my way (running) to the main A-road near university (which is itself probably a 5-10 minute jog) and follow it out of town. I don't really care about that rule, since on foot I can get through any cars blocking the road. I'm not driving, I don't have a car. So I'll run or jog along the main road and I'll be out of the city before the nukes hit in half an hour

P.S. There's a TA base not too far from said main road, so I can get supplies and weapons there if necessary, and if I fail to get out in time that's great place to hold up.

Wait, what, you would outrun a nuke???

I never said that. I live in Leeds, UK, so running along the main Ring Road then along the A road to the motorway will take me straight to a train station. It's outside the main city, though still within the Leeds area. In a zombie apocalypse any public transport would be controlled by the military, surely, so I'd be able to escape using the public transport system under military control. Otherwise, since there's an Army base and a TA base in the vicinity of the city centre, I should be able to escape through them (they'll no doubt be providing a means of escape such as helicopters after people have been screened for the virus). Either way, when I'm clear, then transport will get me away in time. I certainly won't be physically running away from a nuclear bomb...

 

[neosman8]

i would barricade my house and swicth on my xbox maybe with a big population zombies i can finally play a noob free game

 

[delboydel1]

I'd probably be one of the first to die.

 

[FranzTyphid]

get a comdom fillit with 5 pences then go to town

 

[zohmbee]

I live in a small, semi-rural town, meaning that most of the outskirts are farmland and fields. I'd grab my machete, four or five water bottles, some food that won't make too much noise (ie crinkling wrappers, etc), my cellphone with GPS hacked into it so I won't get lost, a smaller back-up weapon (just in case), some earplugs and a couple friends for back up, then get the fuck outta dodge. I know all the backroads here, so we'd trek through those. If any are overrun, we move quickly to an alternate route, since combat should be avoided at all costs.

If an alternate route isn't avaliable, and combat is the only option, we charge them, aiming for the thinnest part of the blockage. Assuming these are the shamblers and not the runners. If they're the runners, we're screwed. ^_^

EDIT: I have a plan for staying in place, too, but it's way too long to post here.

 

[ae86gamer]

I live in Chicago so the chances of me getting out alive are slim.

I'd probably stay in my house. Its big enough and has plenty of nonperishable foods.