Homosexuality in Today's Society

[space_oddity]

I would like to know more about gay people, purely for the sake of understanding.

Is it difficult being gay in this day and age? If so, in what ways?

Do you encounter prejudice or discrimination? If so, how do you deal with it?

How does being gay affect other areas of you life?

I only know a handful of gay people and they aren't close friends, so i just want to know something about our homosexual brothers/sisters that isn't coming from a crappy american sitcom that just perpetuates stereotypes for canned laughs. If you are gay or have gay friends i would appreciate you opinion here.

 

[sky14kemea]

im not gay but my friend is

he lives in a religious family, so he doesnt dare tell his mum
he seems to be handling it fine though, he's already had a boyfriend and no one is bullying him for it
he's not that much like the stereotype, he doesnt have a "camp" way of talking and isnt that much into fashion

 

[Inverse Skies]

I have two close friends who are gay and both of them deal with it quite well. We're lucky to live in an age of better understanding of those whose sexuality is different to the usual heterosexuality. I believe it's more the initial step of telling people they were gay which was the major hurdle for both, but once that was out of the way they found it a lot easier to accept and our group of friends treated them no differently.

One of them used to exploit it in English class. Whenever he couldn't think of a topic for an essay he used to write about how hard it was being gay and the difficulties he faced and bingo! Easy A +.

 

[LadyZephyr]

It is difficult in rural towns. Myself and a close friend are gay, but god knows he'll never say it in public. He's genuinely afraid of being thrown out of his house, which is just depressing. Most folks out here are either openly homophobic or they're "all right" with it until it's actually one of their kids.

Myself, I keep it mum, though if asked pointblank then I admit to liking the girls. :3 One of the strange little annoyances is everyone assuming you're straight. My mother constantly makes jokes about wanting grandchildren and how it'll just take "one man getting you drunk, honey". Which would be funny if not for the "um, no" factor.

Affecting other areas of my life... Well, I harbor embarrassing crushes on Alyx Vance and EVA instead of male characters. Otherwise, nothing really... Granted, I can't date out of fear of Bad Things happening (a good friend of mine once tried to take her girlfriend as a date to a dance and ended up regretting it), but I'm kinda too busy to date anyway, so I guess it works out. :laughs:

Oh, if one stereotype needs to die, it's that gay men are effeminate and gay women are masculine. Totally untrue and insulting.

Sorry if any of this was incoherent, I just woke up and have been watching RE5 trailers all night.

I think it depends. From what I have seen, gay people that are confident with their sexuality are very comfortable in this world, have their own style, (which is imitated by metrosexuals by the way), their own codes and their own places.

Thaaaaaat may be more of a regional thing. If we happen to live in a more open-minded environment, that's a true statement. If not, you just get a bunch of college-age queers hanging at their sympathetic friends' homes, whining about the unfairness of it all and shallowly noting how great Ocelot looks in his GRU uniform.

 

[Flowercup]

im not gay but my friend is

Yea, me too man. I'm not gay but "my friend" is.

 

[the_tramp]

Most folks out here are either openly homophobic or they're "all right" with it until it's actually one of their kids.

Heh, that is the exact same situation here, I often get into quite heated debates with people who think gays are 'disgusting', to which I point out the irony when they go on about how they love lesbians. They can't come up with a logical answer so I just walk away happy with myself.

I'm not gay but without having to bore everyone here with the details, my mother once said to me 'I don't mind if you are gay... I'd just prefer it if you're not'.

What do you say to that!?

 

[sky14kemea]

im not gay but my friend is

Yea, me too man. I'm not gay but "my friend" is.

if i meant me why did i use a male persona?

 

[xitel]

Well, I know that it's become much easier to live with for me at least, because I can be open about it online, where I know it won't get back to my parents and friends until I'm ready to tell them about it myself, so I don't have to deal with the stress of bottling it up. But I will say, you can tell that even though people say that they'd be fine if someone they knew turned out to be gay, there's plenty of people that wouldn't be fine with it. And even though it seems like the US has become more accepting of gay rights, the fact that things like Proposition 8 exist proves that it's just simmering beneath the surface. It's easier to admit it at first, but just as difficult to live with. My boyfriend has had to deal with being ostracized at school almost completely for being gay, and one student was suspended for a teacher for being gay (as in the teacher told her she was being suspended for being gay) and it took a march of every gay student in the school down the main hallway to get it revoked.

So as much as it seems like it's easier, and like the world is more accepting, it's not nearly accepting enough to be easy. I don't go around bandying my sexuality about because I don't want to face prejudice, plus it's just rude to go up to a random person and go "Hey I'm gay!"

As for how it affects other parts of my life, it really doesn't. I'm not a stereotypical "fabulous" gay guy. I actually care less about my clothing and style than my roommate, who can only be described as super straight. I don't like musicals, nor do I like singing or dancing or anything like that. And I absolutely can't stand the Fab 5 from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. They just get on my nerves.

 

[Ignignoct]

im not gay but my friend is

Yea, me too man. I'm not gay but "my friend" is.

if i meant me why did i use a male persona?

b/c ur a guy irl fo course!!!

nailed u imo.

(( Not really ))

 

[Booze Zombie]

The difficulty for a person being gay comes from where they live, really. Brighton? Brilliant time. America (excluding the Texas areas)? Great time. Iran? Uh... not so much.

But homophobia is quite common, but I think it wouldn't be quite so common if people remember that gay people are people too, ya know?

Anyway, just to bring something to mind, by the way. You ever notice how people refer to their friends "turning gay"? This is something a comedian said: "They talking about it like they just turned into werewolves." "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Oh, it's fabulous!"

Good day, all.

 

[Logan Westbrook]

Title changed to be a little more informative.

 

[sky14kemea]

Anyway, just to bring something to mind, by the way. You ever notice how people refer to their friends "turning gay"? This is something a comedian said: "They talking about it like they just turned into werewolves." "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Oh, it's fabulous!"

Good day, all.

that made me laugh a lot, which comedian was it? if you remember

 

[Asparagus Brown]

They're all fags.

In seriousness, though, out of the various gay people I know, they're really just like anyone else. I mix in fairly tolerant circles of friends, though, so I imagine it's a lot harder for gay people in less-accepting surrounds. I really do think society becomes increasingly more accepting of gay culture. I mean, having a stereotypically "gay" character in every "politically correct" TV show / Movie / book etc. actually goes a fair way towards improving the overall perception of gay people, whether they like to admit it or not. Though it take longer to catch on in some parts, unfortunately.

 

[Talon_Kale]

I find it easier not to think about it. If asked directly i will admit im gay but i dont go around shouting the fact mostly because it seems to make other people uncomfortable. It not something that needs commenting on anyway its just a way of life.

Most of the people i went to school with and most of the people i now work would be horrifed by my choice to them i simply say "so what". If you are happy with yourself thats all the matters in the end.

 

[Booze Zombie]

that made me laugh a lot, which comedian was it? if you remember

He's an Italian American comedian, makes jokes about people of different races beating you down in different styles and that his Italian relatives say stuff like "hey, no offence, but your sister is a fucking whore". He appears on the comedy store quite a bit.

 

[sky14kemea]

that made me laugh a lot, which comedian was it? if you remember

He's an Italian American comedian, makes jokes about people of different races beating you down in different styles and that his Italian relatives say stuff like "hey, no offence, but your sister is a fucking whore". He appears on the comedy store quite a bit.

thanks, ill keep an eye out for him

 

[blindey]

The difficulty for a person being gay comes from where they live, really. Brighton? Brilliant time. America (excluding the Texas areas)? Great time. Iran? Uh... not so much.

But homophobia is quite common, but I think it wouldn't be quite so common if people remember that gay people are people too, ya know?

Anyway, just to bring something to mind, by the way. You ever notice how people refer to their friends "turning gay"? This is something a comedian said: "They talking about it like they just turned into werewolves." "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! Oh, it's fabulous!"

Good day, all.

Oh come now, you can't paint all of "Texas areas" (You mean The South) with that broad a brush. True, in more rural areas you probably will find less tolerant people (but it could go either way in that regard). I live in Houston and we have a gigantic gay area (called Montrose) and it's just nice. =) (I live at the University of Houston campus and the feelings are mixed I would imagine - gay club there (GLBT specifically)but I really don't know the "average person's" opinion) and I"ve talked to a few friends online who live in the three other cities of Texas: Dallas, Austin, Fort Worth (That was a semi-joke, I mean the other big cities) and San Antonio and they all have big gay areas in it.

I would like to know more about gay people, purely for the sake of understanding.

Is it difficult being gay in this day and age? If so, in what ways?

Do you encounter prejudice or discrimination? If so, how do you deal with it?

How does being gay affect other areas of you life?

I only know a handful of gay people and they aren't close friends, so i just want to know something about our homosexual brothers/sisters that isn't coming from a crappy american sitcom that just perpetuates stereotypes for canned laughs. If you are gay or have gay friends i would appreciate you opinion here.

Like I and others said - it all depends on where you live and even then I would imagine there'd be *someone* who'll give you hassle for it, I would imagine.

Prejudice - yeah, I do. I consider the phrase "that's gay" ( a synonym for something stupid, bad or what have you) to be highly offensive and I correct people if using it by just saying it's offensive. Back in high school some ass (wasn't just because I am gay, but he was just a bully in the general sense - it's just one more thing they can get on you about -.-) and I almost got in a physical confrontation, but he backed down when teachers were there in the halls.

Discrimination - Not yet, though there's a first time for everything, right? Well nope, I'm looking through HRC (Human Rights Coalition - an excellent resource, it has A LOT (!) of information: business ratings on an LGBT scale ( 0 - 100 ) as having stuff like medical insurance, counseling, all kinds of variables, and rates businesses and even industries on that scale, by a mean I would imagine for the industry rating)

How does being gay affect areas of my life? Well I'm gonna imagine you've heard of "coming out" whereupon one admits to the world they're gay. This is a slightly erroroneous definition of it. It's much more than that - the process is first coming to terms with it to yourself, then maybe friends/online and your parents etc. But then the big thing comes - the world, how you act, how you carry yourself, etc. People have this notion that it's a 1-time thing - it isn't. It's every time a co-worker says he was with his gf/wife/whatever this weekend and you may have to say I was with my friend instead of boyfriend - diminishing hte relationship in essence, cloaking who you are.

My brain's a tad scattered at the moment on account of coffee and dancing (DDR - love that game. =) ) so I'm hyped up, but a couple more things: To the person who said that gay people have a particular manner of acting that metrosexual people try to imitate - not so much, you do find that sort of stereotypical behavior in some, but in the vast majority not so much.

 

[xitel]

Prejudice - yeah, I do. I consider the phrase "that's gay" ( a synonym for something stupid, bad or what have you) to be highly offensive and I correct people if using it by just saying it's offensive. Back in high school some ass (wasn't just because I am gay, but he was just a bully in the general sense - it's just one more thing they can get on you about -.-) and I almost got in a physical confrontation, but he backed down when teachers were there in the halls.

Personally I've come to terms with people saying "gay" as something that's annoying, even though it irks me it's gotten to the point where me saying anything is just going to make matters worse. However, I will get offended and tell people to stop when they use the word "fag" or "******", because that word has never been used in another connotation other than to hurt people, whereas gay hasn't always been a derogatory phrase. And I for one cannot stand to let people do what equates to attacking someone, albeit verbally, especially when there is no other way the word could be taken. I mean yeah, some people will claim that "Oh, a fag is a British word for cigarette" or "A ****** is just a bundle of sticks", but seriously, if you're calling someone a fag, you're not calling them a cigarette. And why the hell would you call someone a bundle of sticks?

How does being gay affect areas of my life? Well I'm gonna imagine you've heard of "coming out" whereupon one admits to the world they're gay. This is a slightly erroroneous definition of it. It's much more than that - the process is first coming to terms with it to yourself, then maybe friends/online and your parents etc. But then the big thing comes - the world, how you act, how you carry yourself, etc. People have this notion that it's a 1-time thing - it isn't. It's every time a co-worker says he was with his gf/wife/whatever this weekend and you may have to say I was with my friend instead of boyfriend - diminishing the relationship in essence, cloaking who you are.

Oh I know exactly what you mean. It's not like one day you just wake up and BAM everyone knows you're gay. It's a long, drawn out, and in some cases permanent process of transition, which can be very very taxing if you don't have support. Right now I'm in the middle of it, I've "come out" to my online friends, and to myself, which was honestly one of the hardest parts. Thankfully, I have support from a lot of people, from ex-girlfriends, to my sister, and the folks on the IRC (really guys, I've never told you this but your support has really helped me with it. Thank you so much).

As for calling your boyfriend your "friend", I normally just say my "partner" in real life. The people that know I'm gay know I'm talking about my boyfriend, and the people that don't think I'm talking about a girlfriend.

 

[elemenetal150]

Honestly there are two aspects of coming out. If you are effeminate and everyone already thinks you are gay then it doesn't really matter but if you are the more "straight acting" gay guy (god I hate that description) like I am and a lot of your friends are homophobes or are at least people that may act different towards you if you come out then it is a really hard thing to do.

If you tell some one the first time you meet them that you are gay, being gay becomes the majority of your personality to them, if you tell them after they get to know you it becomes just another aspect of you that makes you a whole person (ie. the way it really is).

I think the hardest thing about being gay is the fact that people clump us in to some large group like we all have something in common. True as a gay guy I like guys romantically and sexually but there is little else that being gay does for me when trying to connect to other gay men. People make assumptions about you that are completely unfounded unless they take the time to get to know you but often they don't if they know you are gay. This is true of the big stereotypes as much as it is of the smaller lesser known stereotypes.

For example a big stereotypes (fashion) no I don't care about fashion I think it is stupid, I wear the clothes I want to and rock it so hard that I am always fresh to death.
Example small lesser known stereotype (religion) No I have not rejected religion or God because I am gay. In fact I have probably done more research on religion then the average person has but on the history of religion and its evolution of belief and on the bible itself. I believe in God, I go to church, And I believe in the afterlife.....I just don't believe that homosexuality is wrong in the eyes of God. I do hate the average conservative religious fanatic though

Oh and homophobia is rampant people hate gay people with a burning passion and the ones that don't usually don't respect them in the slightest.