Honest and you

[bobmus]

Honesty is often viewed as the ethically correct thing to do, but this is something I disagree with greatly.

Being honest in saying you hate someone's haircut, especially if you're their significant other, is going to wound that person, and make them feel self-conscious about it. We would consider it morally wrong to insult someone dishonestly if it produced the same effect.
The only difference between the two is the element of honesty, and I personally don't feel this makes up for the hurt you may cause the other person. Hurting someone is ethically wrong, and you doing it to be honest doesn't make up for that fact.

Being dishonest can also cause great harm, but only when you are covering up something that a person could discover for themselves and be greatly hurt by, such as cheating.

 

[arnoldthebird]

If I don't like something, it will be heard.
The KONY 2012 fiasco comes to mind, everyone at my school had watched the vid and wouldn't shut up. So I expressed my disinterest in the topic, called them pathetic because it took them a video to figure out that slavery happens in other countries, and then moved on. I did get a lot of dirty looks, but some shit doesn't stand.
She is your GF, if it was me I would tell her the cut is awful, because I would expect the same honesty in return. And as a couple, you should respect each others opinion's.

 

[zehydra]

I try to be as honest as possible. The more lies you build the harder it hits when they come crashing down.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

It's simple: When people tell you they want you to be honest with them, it means they want you to tell them what they want to hear.

 

[manic_depressive13]

Before answering any question or even making a statement, I consider three important factors:

1. Will life be easier if I lie?
2. What is the chance they will find out I am lying?
3. How do the current benefits weigh against the possibility of being discovered in the future?

In the case of lying about your opinions, the answer to two is practically 0% provided you don't admit it yourself, thereby making three non-applicable as well. This lie is a good lie. Remember, people who say they want you to be honest with them don't actually want you to be honest with them. They just want to believe you are honest so they can feel like they can trust someone. As long as you lie properly there's no reason for them to doubt you and they will be perfectly happy.

Remember, lies have never ruined a relationship. Lies are the grease that allows human interaction to run smoothly. It is truth that ruins relationships. Truth, which is made out to be a wonderful thing, is really the weight that puts pressure on the intricate and delicate machinations of love. What someone doesn't know can't hurt them.

 

[Rickolas Walrus]

I like to feel I'm pretty honest about things 99% of the time. If my friend introduces me to one of this friends/the person he/she is trying to date, I'll let them know if I like them or not. Although I'd be more apt to telling little-white-lies to my girlfriend/wife/significant other as long as it wasn't earth shatteringly important in the long run. For example: I'd tell her I liked a dress when I really didn't if it were just something she bought for no real reason other than a party or just for kicks, but I'd let her know that I don't like it if she plans on using it for, say, a job interview or something

I do however have a "code" if you will about being as honest with someone as they are with me. I was, for the most part, completely honest with my ex girlfriend when we were dating (if you could call it that), but when I found out that basically everything about our relationship was a lie on her part, I made sure to make everything on my part a lie as well on the rare occasions we...uh..."tolerate each others company". If you're not going to be honest with me, then I'm not going to be honest with you

 

[Mikeyfell]

If you're enjoying telling the lies keep on trucking.

But if the conversation actually matters to you be honest.

You can't be a slave to someone else's feelings, otherwise what's the point.

I'm single by the way. So this isn't relationship advice, it's just general life advice.

 

[ThePenguinKnight]

Before answering any question or even making a statement, I consider three important factors:

1. Will life be easier if I lie?
2. What is the chance they will find out I am lying?
3. How do the current benefits weigh against the possibility of being discovered in the future?

I agree with this three step program.

 

[TheVioletBandit]

I think some people in this thread are confusing honesty with rudeness. It is perfectly possible to be gentle, kind, and honest. To the OP, you could tell her you don't really like her hair cut in a way which won't hurt her feelings. For example you could tell her you still think shes beautiful, but that it's not your favorite haircut that shes had. In this way your telling her the truth but also presenting it in a way that well have the lest negative emotional impact.

We shouldn't equate insensitivity with honesty as the two have little to do with one another.

 

[smithy_2045]

Being honest tends to be an excuse for people to be a dick. If your girlfriend gets a bad haircut, there's a difference between saying "damn your haircut is ugly ya ugly *****" and "im not really a fan of it, but you're still beautiful to me"

 

[T3hSource]

Surely,no matter how brutally honest you are,you have to consider the person you're talking to.Would they like the hard truth,will they accept it,how will they react to it?
Most of the time I'm very honest,too much in the world I live in for that matter and that usually ends up kicking me in the ass.
I also tend to hide truths,even if they're blatantly obvious,usually in those cases I know that it's just better not to attempt to lie.

 

[The Night Angel]

I practise near 100% honesty. I will tell white lies to avoid offending, or when something isn't my secret to tell, but apart from that, I never lie any more.