Horrible Cooking Mishaps You've Made or Heard About

[Eggsnham]

Well.. My aunt literally burned water before. Not evaporated it. Set it on fire. I dunno how she managed that one. She's a pretty awesome Aunt.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

I remember this one instance at a LAN-party years ago where this guy had mistaken "3 minutes" for "30 minutes" for a pan pizza to be cooked in a microwave oven. The result? Well let's just say that where normal pan pizzas have melted cheese on top, this particular pizza hade melted plastic (from the packaging) instead, and the cheese in question was burnt to cinders.

It made me larf. XD

 

[TheStickman]

When I was about 16 my brother decided to make ravioli by putting a metal pot into the microwave and setting it for 15 minutes. It destroyed the pot, the microwave, and the ravioli. He had no idea why I was so mad at him - I walked into the kitchen, no one was in sight, smoke was pouring out of the microwave and brilliant arcs of electricity were shooting off of the exposed metal. It looked like an ancient Sumerian deity was trying to enter this world via some hellish portal that just so happened to resemble a GE kitchen appliance.

LOL.

One time my mom put a taco shell (and some foil or something in a glass pan) and it caught fire.

 

[Housebroken Lunatic]

I once used a tube of wazabi when making shushi for the first time. It was meant to be used a spoon.

HAHA! XD

I'll have to admit that I've done a similar mistake. Though I didn't manage to apply the full tube of wasabi to my maki nori, but I basically squirted out roughly the same amount of wasabi in the middle of the roll that I do with ketchup on a hot dog.

It was only after I found out that most sushi chefs barely just use the wasabi to slightly colour the rice inside the roll with wasabi, rather than squirting out a thick line like I did.

For some reason it didn't completely ruin the flavour of the sushi I was making, but It sure as hell was the most spicy example of sushi that I have ver eaten.

 

[Spiner909]

cut up meat, fly lands, fly leaves, its babies stay...

Maggot meat. Delicious.

 

[latenightapplepie]

I'm not allowed to cook anymore since the "Incident".

Did it perchance involve noodles?

OT: Apart from one time when cooking biscuits with my brothers and using too much bicarbonate soda, I've been mercifully free of cooking disasters. Mostly because I don't cook much.

 

[atalanta]

One of my flatmates tried to cook steaks and then managed to set his eyebrows on fire. (I don't quite know how he managed it, and he won't tell us). He now cooks wearing his full face motorbike helmet and gloves. So everytime he cooks its like watching a domesticated power ranger.

That's kind of amazing. My roommate managed to burn herself pretty badly baking cookies, and she does something similar; she won't even be in the kitchen when I'm using the oven without protection.

I was trying to make caramel once and I left the kitchen for a minute; when I came back the caramel had apparently been the site of a tiny nuclear explosion; it had burnt and fused to the bottom of the pot. I ended up having to throw the pot out.

 

[Rawker]

We had just moved into a new house, and it had that new house smell. Until my sister accidently put a leftover pizza in the microwave for 3:00 instead of 0:30.

 

[Fireyredmullet]

i once melted 8 year old sharp cheddar on a cheeseburger.
made my face implode with the intensity of the cheese...
i dont recommend it.

 

[lacktheknack]

Not too long ago I was making chicken burgers for lunch, and before I even put the chicken in the frying pan they caught on fire. Seriously, it wasn't even near the flame. How the fuck? It still boggles my mind to this day.

It's a sign from God that you aren't meant to cook.

 

[Spiner909]

i once melted 8 year old sharp cheddar on a cheeseburger.
made my face implode with the intensity of the cheese...
i dont recommend it.

I imagine that smelled...interesting.

 

[Eerors]

In food technology class we had to make a snack type food so I elected to make nutty brownies. This was my first mistake.
After confusing sugar for flour, flour for sugar & badly converting imperial to metric, I was left with something that looked like brownies...but tasted of human waste. A description my friends were not afraid to use (repeatedly, for the rest of the day) after trying one.

 

[teisjm]

My cousin was making pasta, and he was poring water in the pot to boil it, his mom told him it was faster to use teh water boiler (to get teh water boiling) he asked her 2-3 times if she was serious, and she said yes, not realizing that he thought she wanted him to put the pasta in the boiler, which he did.

 

[TehCookie]

I would have to give an award to my mom for forgetting she was toasting a poptart and then opening the door (which said in case of food-flare up do not open) and burnt that entire corner of the kitchen.

When I was little I tried deep frying fish in a pot of olive oil... I got soggy fish.

 

[Hithlain]

My brother used to be able to make popcorn with oil in the pot. We taught him how to do it a couple times and then we let him do it himself a couple times and it was all good. However..... he has ADD and a memory like a sieve. So one day he puts the oil on the stove and then he goes to my mom and asks "How long does it take oil to boil? It's been forever!" and my mom went berserk and he was never allowed to cook again.

In case anyone doesn't know, oil doesn't boil... but it will light when it gets hot enough.

 

[Fusoiya]

Well I've made undercooked chicken ones, many puking and stomach tablets were folowed.

Also I added water about 20 seconds after I made some sausages on a frying pan filled with oil and that didn't go so well either.

ooh and I've drank tea with salt ones (mind you I use a lot of sugar in my tea) and the taste of it still haunts me till this day.

 

[Spiner909]

My brother used to be able to make popcorn with oil in the pot. We taught him how to do it a couple times and then we let him do it himself a couple times and it was all good. However..... he has ADD and a memory like a sieve. So one day he puts the oil on the stove and then he goes to my mom and asks "How long does it take oil to boil? It's been forever!" and my mom went berserk and he was never allowed to cook again.

In case anyone doesn't know, oil doesn't boil... but it will light when it gets hot enough.

Someone seriously tried to boil oil?

 

[SecondmateFlint]

Ohh I have a couple:

In seventh grade we got the recipe to make fudge in my "gifted students" class. The recipe called for 1/3 cup of sugar, and we thought that 3 cups sounded better. We also forgot to arrange the fudge in a nice way so we got this brown crunchy blotch on the paper. Everyone made fun of us but everytime they walked by our table they grabbed some. We called it "Momma's Special Truck Stop Surprise" and it was AWESOME!

My Dad was once making Kraft Mac n Cheese and instead of grabbing the cheese packet he grabbed the packet for a chocolate breakfast shake. We forced him to eat his own creation while we made the right kind and he actually really liked his chocolate Mac n Cheese.

I was at my Grandparents house and I decided to make Bagel Bites for me and my cousin. The timer on the microwave is broken so when you microwave something you just have to HOPE you typed in the right time. Well instead of three minutes and thirty seconds, I accidentally typed in three HOURS and thirty minutes. Next thing I know the whole entire house is filled with smoke.

But we found out that day that all of the batteries in the smoke alarms were dead.

 

[Ed.]

when camping i knocked over my stove the liquid butane in the gas bottle hit the regulator with out vapouising and sent a jet of fire at least a meter across the field maybe more it was frigging huge somehow the fire was at least three times wider than my stove
everyone els was terrified but for some strange reason i was laughing which apparently looked really strange from the other side because it was just me laughing behind a huge jet of flame