How are/were your 20s?
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I've been lurking the escapist for a few years now and have never bothered creating an account. Hell there's been better topics that this but now that I'm here... On With The Show...
23 here. Have I enjoyed the ride so far? Yes, immensely. Do I think I could have enjoyed myself more? Naturally. We will always yearn for more and we will always have regrets.
Just after graduating school, literally in the week after, I landed a job as a sales consultant at a telecommunications joint. So rather than party, I worked. At 18 I took out a mortgage, bought my own home which I still reside in to this day. I've been promoted a few times, in support roles, management, training and now specialised services. I earn 60K+ a year, I own my own car. I've had my fair share of renters, family problems, recreational drugs, benders and enough "what was I thinking?" moments to regail you with over a few hours. Only ever had one significant other, There hasn't been enough time. When I look back on what I've achieved of course I'm impressed - I NEVER would of expected that I could get this far in life. I had a terrible lack of confidence and low self esteem and selfworth for my entire adolescence, I wasn't popular, attractive or physically capable. I'm grateful for everything that I have. I hate to complain, I very rarely do, it would embody everything I dislike about selfish, entitled and arrogant people.
My only complaint is so trivial yet I keep coming back to it: I lack of purpose. I've been doing these things to fill a void. I have no aspirations, no long term or ultimate goal.
There was an expectation that when you left school you would get a good job. So I went out and got a job.
I was told by society I needed a car. So I bought one.
I was told I needed a house. So I signed a mortgage.
I was told to climb the corporate ladder, make more money. Money makes things better. So I am.
I'm told I need a wife. I'm told I need children. That the purpose will all seem clear after that.
If I pay this house off my the time I'm 30. Do I win the game? Do I get a gold medal? Do I retire? I bought the roof over my head because I needed somewhere to live, I don't need to move somewhere else or get a bigger house. I don't WANT a better car. I don't require a new computer or a larger TV. Money is a means to an end and the end is becoming vaguer and vaguer.
I'm infuriating myself while typing this, sounds too much like first world problems so;
I enjoy life. I really do, its hard not to. I'm going to travel and jam every experience possible into this short life as I can. I just can't shake this feeling as if I'm not in control.
23 here. Have I enjoyed the ride so far? Yes, immensely. Do I think I could have enjoyed myself more? Naturally. We will always yearn for more and we will always have regrets.
Just after graduating school, literally in the week after, I landed a job as a sales consultant at a telecommunications joint. So rather than party, I worked. At 18 I took out a mortgage, bought my own home which I still reside in to this day. I've been promoted a few times, in support roles, management, training and now specialised services. I earn 60K+ a year, I own my own car. I've had my fair share of renters, family problems, recreational drugs, benders and enough "what was I thinking?" moments to regail you with over a few hours. Only ever had one significant other, There hasn't been enough time. When I look back on what I've achieved of course I'm impressed - I NEVER would of expected that I could get this far in life. I had a terrible lack of confidence and low self esteem and selfworth for my entire adolescence, I wasn't popular, attractive or physically capable. I'm grateful for everything that I have. I hate to complain, I very rarely do, it would embody everything I dislike about selfish, entitled and arrogant people.
My only complaint is so trivial yet I keep coming back to it: I lack of purpose. I've been doing these things to fill a void. I have no aspirations, no long term or ultimate goal.
There was an expectation that when you left school you would get a good job. So I went out and got a job.
I was told by society I needed a car. So I bought one.
I was told I needed a house. So I signed a mortgage.
I was told to climb the corporate ladder, make more money. Money makes things better. So I am.
I'm told I need a wife. I'm told I need children. That the purpose will all seem clear after that.
If I pay this house off my the time I'm 30. Do I win the game? Do I get a gold medal? Do I retire? I bought the roof over my head because I needed somewhere to live, I don't need to move somewhere else or get a bigger house. I don't WANT a better car. I don't require a new computer or a larger TV. Money is a means to an end and the end is becoming vaguer and vaguer.
I'm infuriating myself while typing this, sounds too much like first world problems so;
I enjoy life. I really do, its hard not to. I'm going to travel and jam every experience possible into this short life as I can. I just can't shake this feeling as if I'm not in control.
that story makes me so damn jealousINF1NIT3 D00M said:
I'll just have to imagine i'm at the beginning of that. though i'm not sure there are any stripclubs where I live... ah well, could always hit up Amsterdam.
21 at the minute. I'm not really like the rest of my friends, I don't go out clubbing every Saturday night and I haven't drank alcohol for about a week (Before that was a few weeks though ). I didn't go to uni and don't plan to so I didn't make a load of new friends, I can get pretty lonely sometimes.
I have some great online buddies and a handful of RL ones I don't often see but I couldn't even tell you the last time I went for a night out with friends. A few of them think they're too good to speak to me now they have a degree now too.
I've worked for three years and the longest I've been single (if not in a relationship, I've always had a thing with someone...) for the in past 6 years is about 5 weeks. I've moved away from home (and back) twice so I know exactly how to look after myself.
Last year was the worst year of my life but I think I've managed to move on pretty nicely, a little messed up mentally but okay.
All I want to do is settle down in a house with my boyfriend, make some new friends and go out a lot more because I miss it.
I do act very old so I hope my later 20s will be more exciting. My siblings were still going out every weekend despite having kids in their 20s.
). I didn't go to uni and don't plan to so I didn't make a load of new friends, I can get pretty lonely sometimes.I have some great online buddies and a handful of RL ones I don't often see but I couldn't even tell you the last time I went for a night out with friends. A few of them think they're too good to speak to me now they have a degree now too.
I've worked for three years and the longest I've been single (if not in a relationship, I've always had a thing with someone...) for the in past 6 years is about 5 weeks. I've moved away from home (and back) twice so I know exactly how to look after myself.
Last year was the worst year of my life but I think I've managed to move on pretty nicely, a little messed up mentally but okay.
All I want to do is settle down in a house with my boyfriend, make some new friends and go out a lot more because I miss it.
I do act very old so I hope my later 20s will be more exciting. My siblings were still going out every weekend despite having kids in their 20s.
True in other forums the public is more...colorful, but there are similarminded people and most are young (as is on the whole internet, as much as we would lie to say gaming is adult business truth is you are more likely to meet a 20 year old than a 60 year old) but still this forum somehow "clicks" with me, despite the warning history. (ech, it will take 4 years for it to clean up, got to behaveTanakh said:
)Still theres something magical about this forum, and ive been on other gaming forums.
Sounds like a workoholism to me. you need some "objective" that you must "Work to" to get there.Bannath said:
And the only way to win the game is to make your own rules. find what you like, society be damned, and care about other stuff as much as you need so you could concentrate on the thing you love. the problem is finding that thing you love. I was fortunate enough to find it by accident really, so you never know. You not wanting a bigger house shows that you are not greedy in that regard and can live on "thats enough for me", so you just need to find the source code of your desires and the hole will be filled.
How you may ask, that my friend i do not know.
I'm in my mid-30s, and I don't think my 20s were the best time of my life - it was a decent enough time, but that's it. I'd say the 28-33 years were the best for me, but that's more about where I was in my life than the specific ages.
I think a lot of the "time of your life" comments assume that you're in that middle ground where you've started a decent career but haven't yet had kids. So if you have kids early or your career gets off the ground late, those predictions just aren't going to apply to you.
I think the age at which you start your own life (as disinct from your family of origin's) is a big one too. Where I live it's very common for people to live with their parents/grandparents/extended families until they're married. Because of that those lines, I do see people in their 50s who still have teenage tendancies, while the people who partnered up in their early 20s matured a little faster (in certain ways, at least).
I think a lot of the "time of your life" comments assume that you're in that middle ground where you've started a decent career but haven't yet had kids. So if you have kids early or your career gets off the ground late, those predictions just aren't going to apply to you.
There's a lot of truth here - once you have children you exist in a vastly different social space. And that's true whether you're 25, 35, or 55.The Gnome King said:
I think the age at which you start your own life (as disinct from your family of origin's) is a big one too. Where I live it's very common for people to live with their parents/grandparents/extended families until they're married. Because of that those lines, I do see people in their 50s who still have teenage tendancies, while the people who partnered up in their early 20s matured a little faster (in certain ways, at least).
I'm in my early 30s now, and I spent my 20s with an insanely heavy workload. 80 hour weeks were the norm for me from age 19 to age 28. Reading that cracked article felt like taking a glimpse into the lives of over-privileged trust-fund kids. Your 20s are going to be very different from those of a person in a different socio-economic class. I'd like to see one written by an inner-city poor person (that's not me, I'm just working class) and one written by a movie star's kid, each in the same vein. That would turn out pretty hilarious.
I'm 21 at the moment, so I can't really say much.
All I can say is that I'm definitely smarter than when I was in high school. Of course that's a given.
And now that I have finally acquired a paying job, I feel more confident in myself.
And even though I still live with my parents, I've come to accept that there's not much I can do about it at the moment and just appreciate the fact my parents are willing to put up with me enough to allow me to stay here.
All I can say is that I'm definitely smarter than when I was in high school. Of course that's a given.
And now that I have finally acquired a paying job, I feel more confident in myself.
And even though I still live with my parents, I've come to accept that there's not much I can do about it at the moment and just appreciate the fact my parents are willing to put up with me enough to allow me to stay here.
I dunno. They weren't bad, I guess, but most of my 20's were spent waiting to launch. I didn't finish school until 26, so I was just spending those years basicaly prolonging my late teens finishing up school and working crappy jobs. I got an ok (prestigious, but not great) job when I graduated, but struggled financially and didn't get a stable job until I was halfway through 28. I'm still in that job and it's pretty boring and I really don't like it at all. I turned 30 this past summer, and honestly feel that my 30's will be much better than my 20's. I'll have money to support myself, knowledge, and the courage and background to do what I need to do.
In a year or so (when my cat passes away), I'm quitting my job, selling a bunch of my stuff, and heading off to travel the world. When I'm done, I'm going to end up on the other side of the country in my parent's spare bedroom. The only difference between now and doing this in my 20's? I have th emoney, and I have the career experience to get a good job (or career, if you prefer) again when I'm done. I also have gone through my 'growing up' phase and am an adult, so my parents are openly welcoming my being irresponsible... because I'm really not. We have a healthy respect for each other and I don't expect them to pay for me when I'm done travelling.
If I don't end up travelling, well, I have the experience to apply for jobs wherever I want and try and find the perfect place to be.
I guess I felt pretty stagnant or just... waited out my 20's. My 30's are where I'll finally be able to do all teh things I've wanted to because I have the money, knowledge, and experience to do so without ending up struggling at the end. Or if I do struggle, it's because I chose to, not because I had to.
In a year or so (when my cat passes away), I'm quitting my job, selling a bunch of my stuff, and heading off to travel the world. When I'm done, I'm going to end up on the other side of the country in my parent's spare bedroom. The only difference between now and doing this in my 20's? I have th emoney, and I have the career experience to get a good job (or career, if you prefer) again when I'm done. I also have gone through my 'growing up' phase and am an adult, so my parents are openly welcoming my being irresponsible... because I'm really not. We have a healthy respect for each other and I don't expect them to pay for me when I'm done travelling.
If I don't end up travelling, well, I have the experience to apply for jobs wherever I want and try and find the perfect place to be.
I guess I felt pretty stagnant or just... waited out my 20's. My 30's are where I'll finally be able to do all teh things I've wanted to because I have the money, knowledge, and experience to do so without ending up struggling at the end. Or if I do struggle, it's because I chose to, not because I had to.
21 here, and so far adult life has been a mixed bag. On the one hand I love my parents, am top of the class at my degree (which I will finish next year), and am in good health. On the other hand I am incredibly stressed out (50 hour week at uni + part-time job), my family has no money and is in bad health, and the current economy means I'm terrified of becoming unemployed after graduation and thus be unable to take care of my parentsor pay back my debts.
If only I can find a nice job, I might build up a sense of self worth. Then social life and such will develop naturally
If only I can find a nice job, I might build up a sense of self worth. Then social life and such will develop naturally
Thank youFloppertje said:that story makes me so damn jealousINF1NIT3 D00M said:
If you could seriously just up and go to Amsterdam, I think it is my friends and I who are jealous of you.
I'm pretty sure that means you don't live within 1000 miles of me, but if you did/do, I'd be totally onboard for hanging out with you or any other Escapists in the area. It's fun to meet new people and go on adventures like that. I'm relatively certain you're not going to stab me, so I've got little to lose and a friend to gain
Pretty sure people refer to their 20's as the best decade because that's when you attend college and have a lot of fun in the process.
Anyway, mine were very busy, between juggling part time jobs and college life (which was a lot of fun, and I made great friends there that are still with me now); learning about real world situations like loans (I bloody hate those things), social security and everything else; learning a new language since I'd moved out of my native country to study abroad, and moving houses basically every year. I now appreciate when I have a moment to relax.
Anyway, mine were very busy, between juggling part time jobs and college life (which was a lot of fun, and I made great friends there that are still with me now); learning about real world situations like loans (I bloody hate those things), social security and everything else; learning a new language since I'd moved out of my native country to study abroad, and moving houses basically every year. I now appreciate when I have a moment to relax.
I'd have to leave my stabbing-hat at home, but alrightINF1NIT3 D00M said:Thank youFloppertje said:that story makes me so damn jealousINF1NIT3 D00M said:
If you could seriously just up and go to Amsterdam, I think it is my friends and I who are jealous of you.
I'm pretty sure that means you don't live within 1000 miles of me, but if you did/do, I'd be totally onboard for hanging out with you or any other Escapists in the area. It's fun to meet new people and go on adventures like that. I'm relatively certain you're not going to stab me, so I've got little to lose and a friend to gain
But no, I don't live close to you(I'm assuming you're from the states here). Amsterdam is about 15 minutes by train from where I live (or 2 hours by bike, I think I'll do that next summer). Unfortunately, it's not all most people think it is. I can go have a beer in my hometown too and it's probably cheaper here. we've got coffeeshops and prostitutes too (the ones that wave at you from behind a window) but I don't really fancy paying for it when I live in a college town, so... no.
I've got a friend who lives there though, and it's a lot of fun going through guitar shops and record stores with him, and there's this marketplace we went to in our highschool metal-phase where we got all our t-shirts, I haven't seen anything like THAT anywhere else. so maybe it's not Amsterdam lacking and more the rest of the country being just as awesome (and slightly less smelly).
I don't think a trip to the States is in the books anytime soon, although I AM going. someday. I pinkypromised myself. But if you ever get down here, hit me up. In the meantime, we could always play a couple of games together.
This isn't a bad thing. There's a Hell of a lot more to life than being defined by your "career" ... Figure out what you enjoy doing and pour your time and energy into doing that, whatever it might be, whether it's partying with pretty ladies, gaming, gardening, or some combination thereof. Most people like having a job that pays the bills and that they can take pride in but some people take the whole "I am what I do" thing way, way too far.IamLEAM1983 said:
I'm 25 years old. Smack dab right in the mid twenties.
Couldn't be living further away from what people apparently say.
Still live at home with my mom. Currently out of school due to bad grades which made my finances suffer. Loans and financial aid not coming until they're paid off. Have my first real official job finally.
Don't do much. Right now, I'm focused on keeping this job long enough to pay off loans so I can get back to school. And if not that, then at least for two years before I move on to another one where I'll continue to try and pay off loans.
No, it's not incredibly awesome but it's not bad. Far from it. I can sum up my early twenties simply. I was out of university for at least a year by this point and was attending community college. Did that for only about 2 years then stopped attending due to monies with the loan situation. Um... had a few birthdays.
My mom tells me that my older brother didn't get back into college to do his thing until he was 28 years old so I don't need to feel pressured like said older brother was aiming for.
Basically, it's been pretty mundane. I plan to mix some stuff up by attending some conventions and other fun events now that I've understood the bus system/train system pretty well.
Couldn't be living further away from what people apparently say.
Still live at home with my mom. Currently out of school due to bad grades which made my finances suffer. Loans and financial aid not coming until they're paid off. Have my first real official job finally.
Don't do much. Right now, I'm focused on keeping this job long enough to pay off loans so I can get back to school. And if not that, then at least for two years before I move on to another one where I'll continue to try and pay off loans.
No, it's not incredibly awesome but it's not bad. Far from it. I can sum up my early twenties simply. I was out of university for at least a year by this point and was attending community college. Did that for only about 2 years then stopped attending due to monies with the loan situation. Um... had a few birthdays.
My mom tells me that my older brother didn't get back into college to do his thing until he was 28 years old so I don't need to feel pressured like said older brother was aiming for.
Basically, it's been pretty mundane. I plan to mix some stuff up by attending some conventions and other fun events now that I've understood the bus system/train system pretty well.
21. S'all right.
I sort of feel like I'm squandering my youth, since I don't like drinking, casual sex, or clubbing. Part of me wants to force myself into doing these things, because if I don't I'll be a kid forever. Part of me says that I shouldn't do things just because a majority of people my age do. But if I don't do those things, people will think I'm boring, and no one will want to be with me in a friendship or relationship.
Can't complain too much though. I've been very lucky in life, and my family has been great to me. I work hard and get excellent grades in school. I still have some "townie" friends from high school, and they're all cool with boring ol' me.
Maybe next semester, when I transfer schools, I'll meet more people like me. Until then, I'll sit here wallowing in loneliness and self pity.
I sort of feel like I'm squandering my youth, since I don't like drinking, casual sex, or clubbing. Part of me wants to force myself into doing these things, because if I don't I'll be a kid forever. Part of me says that I shouldn't do things just because a majority of people my age do. But if I don't do those things, people will think I'm boring, and no one will want to be with me in a friendship or relationship.
Can't complain too much though. I've been very lucky in life, and my family has been great to me. I work hard and get excellent grades in school. I still have some "townie" friends from high school, and they're all cool with boring ol' me.
Maybe next semester, when I transfer schools, I'll meet more people like me. Until then, I'll sit here wallowing in loneliness and self pity.
Age 21 though close to 22
So far so good no real complaints so far going through College/Uni for you from outside the US and just moving ahead in life. Compared to the high school years everything is much better.
So far so good no real complaints so far going through College/Uni for you from outside the US and just moving ahead in life. Compared to the high school years everything is much better.
Age 25, close to 26.
I'm halfway through my twenties, and so far I can say that it has both been great and really hard.
In the past 5 years I moved out of my parent's house, made a bunch of new friends, took op recreational drug use (And now I am taking it down again), and I'm starting to sail my course, so to say.
But living on your own is hard, being completely independent from my family was rough at first, especially since I lacked most of the skills necesary to take care of yourself.
But I learned those skills, I learned how to cook for myself, manage my money, keep a clean-ish apartment, and lots of other things.
It feels like the hardest part is over now, but I am unsure what the next couple of years will bring.
Probably something amazing!
EDIT: And my ego is being punched in the dick on a regular basis, I wonder if I have anything left by the time I reach 30...
I'm halfway through my twenties, and so far I can say that it has both been great and really hard.
In the past 5 years I moved out of my parent's house, made a bunch of new friends, took op recreational drug use (And now I am taking it down again), and I'm starting to sail my course, so to say.
But living on your own is hard, being completely independent from my family was rough at first, especially since I lacked most of the skills necesary to take care of yourself.
But I learned those skills, I learned how to cook for myself, manage my money, keep a clean-ish apartment, and lots of other things.
It feels like the hardest part is over now, but I am unsure what the next couple of years will bring.
Probably something amazing!
EDIT: And my ego is being punched in the dick on a regular basis, I wonder if I have anything left by the time I reach 30...