I wasn't as disturbed if I would've been if I hadn't been given Mr. Sterling's warning.
That said if he had just threw it in there like it was was some game footage I would have wondered what the hell it was I just saw, rewinded, rewatched it, then excused myself.
For all the gorey games like TF2 and Killing Floor I play, I can't push myself to sit through so much as Saving Private Ryan due to the gore.
The actual shooting didn't disturb me, it was the fact that this guy had a family and this was broadcast across across the nation.
I find this footage here of the Challenger disaster far more disturbing than the actual event.
Do you know why? You see how this event effects that persons loved ones, nobody knows what is going on, and then the sudden realisation hits... these people just saw people who they loved die in front of them and there was nothing they could do.
I wasn't horribly shocked by seeing it, but that was mainly due to the low-quality of tge footage. Even then, it still gave me something to think about. It's not something that I would want to watch again, and this is coming from someone who favorited a and sometimes loops a certain scene from episode 8 of bakemonogatari
The scene where Kanbaru Suruga breaks his wrist, pummels him, kicks a hole through him, his intestines spill out onto the floor, she kicks him into the air violently, grabs the intestines, and uses them to sling him around the room until they break, and he smashes into the wall, with his blood splattering onto the wall on impact
. I definitely can still tell the difference between real violence and fake violence, and the actual thought of someone dying, or being killed, seeing the life drain out of their eyes, still disturbs me. I still have an aversion to seeing overly grotesque scenes of violence in more realistic settings in things like anime and manga. I still find it hard to watch someone get decapitated regardless of the format unless it is very down-played, like having everyone react non-chalantly or putting the generic X eyes, with their tongue sticking out.
I do, however, think I have been somewhat desensitized to violence, not from games, but from the media. To be honest, I find it slightly difficult to care about real violence, unless it is happening to someone I know, or somewhere very close to me. As much attention as the Sandy Hook shooting got, (flame shields up), I didn't really care that much. I didn't look at it any differently than I would look at, say, soldiers being killed in Iran, or a campus shooting, or a natural disaster. It all has that very distant feeling to it, and I tend not to categorize them and care about one incident over another, because with all the horrible stuff that happens every day, I would probably go insane and kill myself if I was mentally dragged down by every single incident that was reported on the news.
That's not to say I don't pity the victim's and their families, but I don't really look at it and think of it as something that especially deserves my attention over all the other daily tradgedies.
The warnings braced me. If I'd seen it cold, I would likely have been more shocked. Still, felt very wrong. Felt VERY different than video game death, for obvious reason. I've done some pretty terrible things in games, but I don't even like interrupting people in real life, much less hurting them.
People who think gaming can make people into monsters need to give the human brain more credit.
The whole thing happened in a public conference, Budd was deep into his scandal, was facing jail time and was giving a speech which was being filmed at the time.
I couldn't watch it, not even the episode after Jim explained. I get what he was trying to say and I get the gist of what the episode was probably about but I was way to scared to chance skipping past and accidentally seeing it.
So what did this guy do that made him kill himself and please no one link any pictures or videos.
It disturbed me a little, precisely because it didn't feature the showers of gore I've gotten used to thanks to horror films. It's the sharp and stark contrast between what we think is likely to happen and what actually happens that really got to me.
The suicide itself, though? Not terribly hard on the eyes. I've seen worse, with regularly popping by my mother's workplace. Some elderly folks die in pretty indignant conditions that are *seriously* hard to stomach.
I turned my head away and covered my ears just before the acutal shot. I knew if i didnt that image would haunt me for some time, and i play a lot of violent games.
I'll admit that I'm not as shocked of this as i should be,
but after all the things i have seen and done in my life I find that clip, distant to me, at best.
All I see in that clip is a man; a stranger, some one that is of no consequence to me coming to an end.
I still have great respect for human life and I live a non violent live style but in the end we all must face death, one way or another.
Simply watching the footage did not disturb me. However, when I think about it more, it does become saddening and quite disturbing. We all watched the moment that a human being, a collection of thoughts and memories, much like ourselves, snuffed out in an instant. It's a dark reminder of the fragility of human life. I find the thought of a death being recorded on film quite disturbing as well, as I think of death as one of the most private events in a persons life, and having recorded and watched over and over again seems to me to be the ultimate perversion of video technology. Watching the vid made me think of the way that many tribes thought cameras stole your soul, as in a way, isn't that what the Dwyer footage has done to him?
i saw a gif of it years ago... And I always assumed it was a scene from a movie, because the gif gave the impression he was smiling right before he pulled the trigger.
When I later found the article about it on Wikipedia, my reaction was just "Oh, that was real? Hmm".
I couldn't bring myself to watch the actual footage though .
This hasn't been the first time I have watched people die on camera. As part of our IED training in the military, we were required to watch two videos of IEDs and their devastating effects. One video included a graphic scene in Turkey where a police officer was blown up by an IED in a crowd of people and the chaos in the following seconds that ensued before the video ended. While I can say that the videos I watched in training were quite disturbing, there was just something about this man's death that makes me feel different than I did the day on training; something a tad more unsettling I suppose. I don't know how to describe it. It's never easy seeing anybody lose their life, and I can guarantee you just like anybody else who has witnessed or actually experienced true violence that there is not a single damn thing that a video game or Hollywood flick can ever replicate to the extent that an actual act of violence is.
OT: The effects that the video depicting Mr. Dwyer's untimely and horrific death (and any other real act of violence, in person or on camera) have on the mind can never be replicated by any form of media.
When I first saw the footage showed, back when Jim was just doing these video's for Destructiod's Youtube account, I was shocked and horrified. Even now, when I see it, I'm still shocked about what happened. To help prove that video game's don't have "real" violence, just say how tell how you felt after watching that scene. Doesn't matter if or not you were disturbed, just be 100% honest.
Well I would have been more disturbed, but I've already seen a man shoot himself in the head on the internet (different guy, and I was pretty darn disturbed when I saw that one, especially considering it was far more.....graphic. Lasting too. There was a good 15 seconds of just seeing him dead, in a fully lighted room). This time, I was at least mentally prepared for it (As much as one can be in such instances). Doesn't make it any less gruesome or tragic, but at least this time I didn't feel utterly sick to my stomach.
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