How do people get bored on their own in this day and age?

[dscross]

My friend was telling me the other day that he can't be on his own for very long because he gets bored easily. He said he needs to be with people or on his mobile to other people to feel ok. I said to him, "but there's so much to do" - the Internet, games, books, films, excerise, walking out in parks/countryside, YouTube videos, discussion forums, meditation, writing, online chess, TV. The list goes on. Don't get me wrong, i love socialising, and I consider myself an extrovert (ENFP according to work assessments) but I certainly don't get bored on my own.

I'm much more likely to get bored when a friend, partner or family member is forcing me to watch something on TV I'm not interested in. Or when I'm doing something I HAVE to do like chores or work.

I just don't understand how it's possible to feel boredom when you are choosing how to spend your own time in the 21st century - is it just me? I simply can't get bored on my own. There are too many options. Are any you guys the same or am I mad?

 

[sageoftruth]

Ezekiel covered this already to some degree. I can get into that state, however, in my case, it's often a misconception. When I'm feeling low on energy, my mind can become extremely pessimistic, and I just start assuming that any activity won't be worth starting, except for the most simple of activities, like going online and watching stuff on Youtube. Some friends have called it "Inertia Problems".

Often, I'm wrong and I actually do have fun, whether I'm playing a game on my PC, or visiting friends, but my pessimism tends to make starting it a real hurdle to overcome. Even when I know that I'm being unreasonably pessimistic, it can be hard to work up the effort to do an activity that sounds dull and pointless in my skewed head.

Same applies when I'm meeting people. When I'm around people but I'm not talking to them, I feel shy, but once I start talking to them, the conversation flows effortlessly.

So, bottom line: I can have plenty of fun, regardless of whether I'm alone or with people, but it always requires me to actually start doing the activity first, and that's hard.

 

[Borty The Bort]

I don't think I have ever been bored of my own volition. While it sounds ridiculous, I have only ever been bored because someone dragged me along to somewhere I don't care for, like you have outlined. I always find ways to entertain myself, and as someone who has been a hardline introvert since I was four years old, who also finds philosophy a hobby instead of a penance, boredom is virtually an impossibility for me.
Unless a family member brings me along somewhere on a visit or something, I cannot get bored. If I do get strung along with a family member, I will remain bored for the duration of visit.

 

[dscross]

I'm alone 24/7 and am able to entertain myself more easily and for longer periods than many social people. But sometimes, I just don't feel like doing anything. Sometimes, everything I can think of is boring. If it gets really bad, I go to sleep or contemplate killing myself. You can't really tell a person to stop being bored. It doesn't work like that.

That doesn't sound like just boredom on its own to me. That sounds like a type of depression. I'm not sure if I'd equate the two so easily to be honest, although you could say that boredom is a symptom of depression. I understand if someone has depression. The strain of thought is different. It's more 'what's the point of doing anything - it's all meaningless', rather than boredom without depression which is more 'there's nothing I can think of to do right now that will interest, entertain or relax me'. Feel free to challenge me on that, but I do think there's a difference.

 

[stroopwafel]

I'm alone 24/7 and am able to entertain myself more easily and for longer periods than many social people. But sometimes, I just don't feel like doing anything. Sometimes, everything I can think of is boring. If it gets really bad, I go to sleep or contemplate killing myself. You can't really tell a person to stop being bored. It doesn't work like that.

So(if you don't mind me asking) what is worse in your experience; not having a job or not having companionship/girlfriend?

But yeah, I agree that it's pretty much impossible to get bored with the unlimited amount of distractions at your disposal in modern society but at the same time if these distractions are used as a crutch or a surrogate they wear thin really fast. Espescially if you have low mood. Every distraction becomes boring if you feel like a prisoner I guess. There can always be too much of a good thing, and entertainment is no exception. No matter how good the videogame, you have to leave the house and meet people every now and again to fully appreciate it.

 

[Casual Shinji]

Just because you have many options doesn't mean those options will necessarily fulfill you.

 

[dscross]

Just because you have many options doesn't mean those options will necessarily fulfill you.

Could you not just rotate them though? That's what I do. I suppose it depends how many interests you personally have? So if Im on my own for long periods of time, ill maybe watch some politics, history, psychology or health stuff for a bit or maybe write something I've experienced that I feel is important. Once that becomes too heavy, I'll maybe watch an interesting film, listen to some music, play the guitar, or play a video game for a while. Once that becomes too mind numbing, I maybe go for a walk in the country, do some exercise or do some meditation to get my thoughts in order. Could just be as simple as doing some cooking to relax you. And so on...

 

[Saelune]

Well, Ezekiel covered depression as a reason. I know that is a big reason I personally feel bored alot.

Sometimes I am "too awake to go to sleep, but too sleepy to do anything" and that tends to be well, boring.

Other times, as a gamer, I just cant find that game that grabs me, and I just scroll through my Steam library or look through my physical game collections and not know what to play.

Plus well, you just cant do what you want to do, atleast not so simply. Sometimes I just want to play a specific game with friends, but they dont want to play or cant play. Or maybe Id really be into watching a certain movie, but ofcourse its not on fucking Netflix, things like that.

And few people are on at 4am.

 

[Scarim Coral]

While I am fully anti social but I can somewhat get your friend feelings, well some of it.

I mean yes you can do ANYTHING by yourself but something those anything can be ten times better when your friend is around sometime (or maybe it will just annoyed you as you want to be alone).

Basically I'm going to the usual convention at the end of this month but I am feeling more of a dread than excitement (well ok the excitement may had died cos I have been going there every year now). It usually just depressed me seeing people with their friends, talking about stuff and their surrounding. Yes there are people going there by themselves by still, I get too awkward for a stranger to take a photo of me with another cosplayer when I cosplay (not cosplaying this year as this group cosplay of Team Skulls didn't worked out).

Yes I do got friends but she decline at the last minute cos she's going to Japan next month and my other friend got a bad back. The latter I usually telled him what happened on the day, wouldn't it had been better if he had been alongside with me, seeing the himself instead of me relaying it to him???

 

[dscross]

Well, Ezekiel covered depression as a reason. I know that is a big reason I personally feel bored alot.

Sometimes I am "too awake to go to sleep, but too sleepy to do anything" and that tends to be well, boring.

Other times, as a gamer, I just cant find that game that grabs me, and I just scroll through my Steam library or look through my physical game collections and not know what to play.

Plus well, you just cant do what you want to do, atleast not so simply. Sometimes I just want to play a specific game with friends, but they dont want to play or cant play. Or maybe Id really be into watching a certain movie, but ofcourse its not on fucking Netflix, things like that.

And few people are on at 4am.

I think unless it's for a temporary life event though that will pass, depression is something you have to think about treating if you are aware that's the reason you feel like that - not sure if youve done something already. I've suffered with anxiety before due to extreme health problems in my stomach from antibiotics (although I've never had depression in the clinical sense). I took anti depressants for a while and then had to have some counciling and Hypnotherapy. I'd class depression as something that needs to be addressed rather than a reason for boredom. Doesn't always have to be through drugs depending on your brain, but it's not something you need to live with in the modern world.

 

[Saelune]

Well, Ezekiel covered depression as a reason. I know that is a big reason I personally feel bored alot.

Sometimes I am "too awake to go to sleep, but too sleepy to do anything" and that tends to be well, boring.

Other times, as a gamer, I just cant find that game that grabs me, and I just scroll through my Steam library or look through my physical game collections and not know what to play.

Plus well, you just cant do what you want to do, atleast not so simply. Sometimes I just want to play a specific game with friends, but they dont want to play or cant play. Or maybe Id really be into watching a certain movie, but ofcourse its not on fucking Netflix, things like that.

And few people are on at 4am.

I think unless it's for a temporary life event though that will pass, depression is something you have to think about treating if you are aware that's the reason you feel like that - not sure if youve done something already. I've suffered with anxiety before due to extreme health problems in my stomach from antibiotics (although I've never had depression in the clinical sense). I took anti depressants for a while and then had to have some counciling and Hypnotherapy. I'd class depression as something that needs to be addressed rather than a reason for boredom. Doesn't always have to be through drugs depending on your brain, but it's not something you need to live with anymore.

Depression, like boredom, is not as easily willed away as you seem to think. Depression is a major problem for tons of people. If we truly knew how to fix it, then it would not be so prevalent.

 

[dscross]

Well, Ezekiel covered depression as a reason. I know that is a big reason I personally feel bored alot.

Sometimes I am "too awake to go to sleep, but too sleepy to do anything" and that tends to be well, boring.

Other times, as a gamer, I just cant find that game that grabs me, and I just scroll through my Steam library or look through my physical game collections and not know what to play.

Plus well, you just cant do what you want to do, atleast not so simply. Sometimes I just want to play a specific game with friends, but they dont want to play or cant play. Or maybe Id really be into watching a certain movie, but ofcourse its not on fucking Netflix, things like that.

And few people are on at 4am.

I think unless it's for a temporary life event though that will pass, depression is something you have to think about treating if you are aware that's the reason you feel like that - not sure if youve done something already. I've suffered with anxiety before due to extreme health problems in my stomach from antibiotics (although I've never had depression in the clinical sense). I took anti depressants for a while and then had to have some counciling and Hypnotherapy. I'd class depression as something that needs to be addressed rather than a reason for boredom. Doesn't always have to be through drugs depending on your brain, but it's not something you need to live with anymore.

Depression, like boredom, is not as easily willed away as you seem to think. Depression is a major problem for tons of people. If we truly knew how to fix it, then it would not be so prevalent.

I didn't say will it away. I said think about getting professional help like I did. Sorry, I wasn't trying to annoy you. It's just in my own personal experience, it helped me. I couldnt have got through it without help. I was having panic attacks and all sorts. One of my friends has clinical depression because his brain and stomach don't produce enough serotonin. He's on anti depressants for life but he's happy because of them. My other friend saw a councillor for 5 years and she's very happy now. It's a long hard road for some people. It's not a quick fix - ever!

 

[bluegate]

I sometimes get bored when I'm at an impasse as to what I want to do.

For example, when I have a certain obligation that I'm procrastinating on, there are a million things that I would want to do but I won't because I'd feel guilty because I know that I should be working on said obligation, so I just end up sitting around looking into empty space, not doing anything; rather unproductive and self-destructive, but it seems to make sense at the time.

But the moments where my mind lets me forget about my obligations are awesome, though, so many things to do 🤤. Now if only I'd stop procrastinating, finish what I'd actually have to do and be truly "free"... 😔🙃

 

[SoliterDan]

Easily

 

[Cycloptomese]

The only time I get bored is standing in lines like at the department of motor vehicles or something. Maybe waiting at the doctor's or dentist's office. If I'm at home I have a ton of things to keep me entertained.

 

[Elvis Starburst]

Just because you have many options doesn't mean those options will necessarily fulfill you.

Pretty much my thoughts. I could go outside, or I could boot up a different game, or watch a show. But maybe that's simply not what I want to do, or it's not what I feel like will alleviate my boredom properly. It'll fix it a little, sure, but I might just be bored while doing it

 

[DoPo]

My friend was telling me the other day that he can't be on his own for very long because he gets bored easily. He said he needs to be with people or on his mobile to other people to feel ok.

Sounds like he is an extrovert and likes company over being alone.

 

[dscross]

My friend was telling me the other day that he can't be on his own for very long because he gets bored easily. He said he needs to be with people or on his mobile to other people to feel ok.

Sounds like he is an extrovert and likes company over being alone.

I am also an extrovert but I don't get bored alone. I do not think the two things are mutually exclusive.

 

[RedRockRun]

Depression