How Do You Assassinate?

[BehattedWanderer]

Poison dart from across the square into the guard next to the target, let his buddy take him out as he flails about.

Alternatively, send him a pizza, compliments of either his command station or a "free pizza for guardsmen and targets officials" campaign. Then, as he's eating, watch as he discovers that it has pork sausage on it, despite his adamantly following the rules of eating only kosher, then continuously remind him of it, guilting him into his own suicide!

...Then eat the rest of the pizza, because, hey, free pizza.

 

[klausaidon]

With a warm smile, a handshake, followed shortly by a knife in the back.

 

[Quazimofo]

if possible? cut them in half from the groin to the head with a scythe (cuz i likez mez soemz sithez)

which makes me think, if someone were to not die instantly from that, would their two brain halfs think independently as 2 different people? or would they somehow still be linked as one person

 

[Rand-m]

In relation to the one game that's literally all about assassination, (AC: Brotha's in the Hood,) as long as it's smooth. I hate making my character go through the humiliation of getting hurt, or... God forbid... Running.

In that specific game's many scenarios, crossbow is usually the best weapon of choice for staying sleek while dealing with anybody that gets in the way. Once I reach my target though, up close and personal 4000 lb axe is usually the way to go.

 

[psivamp]

if possible? cut them in half from the groin to the head with a scythe (cuz i likez mez soemz sithez)

which makes me think, if someone were to not die instantly from that, would their two brain halfs think independently as 2 different people? or would they somehow still be linked as one person

Look up people with split-brain (severed corpus callosium). It's kinda like you're two different people without that bridge between the hemispheres of the brain. For people not chopped entirely in half, only one side can talk usually...

 

[Nouw]

Depends on which game.

Sometimes I like to go up to them and make them cower with fear for roughly 30 seconds (sometimes security comes and I end up getting blasted to bits which should render the cowering NPC dead because I splatter acidic blood but no they don't!) and then I head-bite the sucker.

Other games I just beat them up even though I could stealthily do it!

First game is AVP2 and second game is Batman:Arkham Asylum. Note that they're both fantastic games, yes AVP2.

 

[Joshimodo]

Follow them for a long while, closely, inconspicuously. As soon as the moment is right, pistol to the back of the neck, then in the head.

 

[imperialreign]

Compund bow & aluminum shaft arrow . . . nice, clean, silent . . .

. . . close enough to be personal, distant enough to be indifferent.

Also cheap, relatively untraceable and lethal.

Only downfall is the skill level involved to properly place your shot - and having to take environment into account . . .

But on the bright side - no muzzle flash, no gunpowder residue

 

[Numb1lp]

.

Personally, I love nothing more than planting some C4 along their path, sitting back, and watching them stroll to their death. The distance of which the poor NPC's corpse is launched is always bonus.

Cool guys don't look at explosions, right?

OT: I like bustin' through the door, mafia style, and riddling the poor guy with chest shots.

 

[psivamp]

Compund bow & aluminum shaft arrow . . . nice, clean, silent . . .

. . . close enough to be personal, distant enough to be indifferent.

Also cheap, relatively untraceable and lethal.

Only downfall is the skill level involved to properly place your shot - and having to take environment into account . . .

But on the bright side - no muzzle flash, no gunpowder residue

Hey, we're killing a man here. There's no point in doing it half-assed, I would assume that if you're serious about doing this you would practice that shit.

 

[spartan231490]

rifle shot from a distance, if i wanted to guarentee not getting caught. Knife threw the gap between the 2nd and 3rd vertabra if I want to get my hands dirty.

 

[DaJoW]

My favourite was replacing a prop gun for a real one in a theater, and then watch him get shot by a colleague during rehearsals. Beautiful.

 

[lolokitten]

1. Find a 300 feet tall turtle with a monocle
2. Stomp on the building my target is in
3. Have a cup of tea

 

[superline51]

Sniper round right between the eyes, BOOM!

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

I throw a rock at him.

And by "rock" I mean "large asteroid", and by "throw" I mean "fling from orbit at a very high fraction of the speed of light".

I like to be thorough.

 

[Double A]

I like striking from above, but if I can't do that I'll hide somewhere and ambush them.

 

[Caligulove]

"Accidents"

That was probably why I loved Hitman: Blood Money so much. Each mission had the 'Silent Assassin' route for completion- something about it made you just swagger around with that great fuck yea feeling of bringing whole new meaning to the term of Smooth Criminal.

 

[imperialreign]

Compund bow & aluminum shaft arrow . . . nice, clean, silent . . .

. . . close enough to be personal, distant enough to be indifferent.

Also cheap, relatively untraceable and lethal.

Only downfall is the skill level involved to properly place your shot - and having to take environment into account . . .

But on the bright side - no muzzle flash, no gunpowder residue

Hey, we're killing a man here. There's no point in doing it half-assed, I would assume that if you're serious about doing this you would practice that shit.

I find it's best to practice by doing . . .

. . . one can easily go out hunting deer or whatever. I figure, if you can down a 10-point buck quietly and quickly from 300+ yards, you should have no problem taking out a human target. Sadly, I've also come to the conclusion that humans are actually much easier prey than wildlife . . . thanks to all our modern comforts, the element of "survival of the fittest" and keeping one's wits about you are non-existant in the majority of targets.

 

[Pandaman1911]

Lots and lots of plastic explosives. If I'm going to do a job, I'm going to do it goddamn right.