How do you date?

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

I just go out as frequently as possible. Get coffee, go to the bookstore, hang out at the beach, etc. At some point, I'll see a girl who's alone like me and I'll come up with a reason to talk to her.

Also Tinder has already paid off completely once and it's looking like it will again, so don't lose hope there.

 

[L. Declis]

I met my current fiance by helping Chinese students, meeting her at a dance ball, and then meeting her again by helping her neighbour.

I met my ex by walking a friend home, we met, and she and that friend conspired to bring me to lunch, which I agreed to.

I met another by walking into the university observatory and chatting to her about astrophysics and then fantasy books.

I met the ex before by joining the choir and she kept staring at me.

I met the one before that by walking to class and chatting to her as we were going the same way and I was lost.

I do not remember the ones before then. Generally it's a case of be nice, be around and be funny; people will take notice. Make sure you're well dressed and enjoy yourself. Finally, no one will find you if you stay in your room.

Regarding dates, it is generally "Hey, I want to go do this thing, want to come with me?" I've gone to parks, cinemas, museums, we go to other towns nearby, we try different restuarants, we look around book shops together, I go with her to get a present for her sister, she politely waits for me to finish staring at 40k in GW, and I would cook for her whenever I could because she can't cook for herself.

 

[Vault101]

I haven't tried I really wouldn't know

as much as people hate online dating (with good reason) at least its a way of circumventing random chance to a certain extent

personally at this stage I'd rather meet someone IRL, it would be less scary than online and I'd worry I'd get Catfished

 

[username sucks]

My current boyfriend is also the only one I've had, so I can't say I have a "go-to" method. I met him in person and we both just kinda talked and hung out since we were both broke. Not many traditional movie or dinner dates, but we've worked out great regardless.

So yeah, I was really lucky, but I would say that if you like someone, start by spending time with them and talking.

 

[KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime]

My go-to method is to hang out with friends, go around the places they go, meet their friends, and meet new people. At the end of the day it's a net gain in friends and acquaintances. If I like someone, or usually more importantly someone likes me then we can go out. Though usually people ask me out, not the other way around. Things get complicated because I'm trans and most dates end up with a friend, rather than a romantic relationship, mostly because being trans can be a deal breaker.

For actual dates? The best kind aren't the over planned kind. Just hanging out, doing things together, no matter how mundane, and just being together with someone is the best way to do it.

 

[KyuubiNoKitsune-Hime]

Edit: Double post caused by getting dropped by my wifi. Apologies.

 

[Addendum_Forthcoming]

I don't ... I go clubbing. I find people into the same sort of kink, then it's easy. That being said, I started trying to go set scene dates, etc. True love, all that nonsense. Like the LGBT club at uni is a good way of linking people together. I look pretty young for my age, but I'm pretty much edging towards being a cougar given the prime people who go to university are ABOUT 19-21 ... holy shit, I'm almost old enough to be their parent...


When the fuck did that happen!?

 

[FPLOON]

Trick question: I don't!

Spoiler: Party at my place!

http://www.diversitudes.fr/img/2013/03/harlem-shake.gif

But seriously, I don't think I could ever get into the dating spirit, per se... I mean, I think I would have a better shot at someone asking me out than the other way around, you know?

 

[ObsidianJones_v1legacy]

It's somewhat hard to date.

I'm a geek through and through. I just happen to not look like what people consider a geek.

The women who confess interests are usually drawn in by my outward appearance and get turned off by my geeky side.

The women I'm interested in usually go for the geek stereotype (skinny, white, and frail looking), and usually are not attracted to my outside.

 

[JemothSkarii]

I don't really, not anymore at least.

The last girl I dated I was introduced to by my friend's (now) wife, we hit it off as friends pretty quick. It was a long distance thing and we met up at my friend's wedding, started dating (just by hanging out and talking about random shit or playing video games). An actual date we went on involved me waiting in a waiting room for two hours while she got her hair dyed then had Chinese for lunch. Things went well with her family too.

But that ended slowly and painfully and I've realised after a year and a bit of bachelorhood I'm happier like this. I'm saving much more money and I have so much time to do things. That and I've never met a girl and become interested by appearance in my town.

 

[smithy_2045]

I'm strongly considering giving some form of online dating a whirl, whether it be through Tinder or some website. I can be somewhat sociable online, while in person (particularly around large groups) I tend to go silent if I don't feel comfortable around people. Developing some form of connection online should theoretically overcome that hurdle. Of course, lack of money and lack of vehicular transport are rather significant roadblocks that probably need to be dealt with before I do try the whole dating thing.

 

[lastcigarette]

Call or text your friends and make plans to go out for drinks, throw darts, shoot pool, or whatever. While out with your friends be sure to relax and have fun. Look around at the other groups of people enjoying themselves until you see someone you find attractive. Throw a casual smile or grin in their direction. If they acknowledge you, make an introduction, buy them a drink or invite them to join in your next game of darts or pool. Continue to relax and have fun and be confident. At some point exchange numbers and depending on how things are going invite them to your group's next get-together or suggest a one on one meeting in a few days.

Over simplified but it works.

 

[Squilookle]

Well, you could always try Game. Sure it's heavily stigmatised in popular culture for the few horrible people that use it to reach wholly selfish ends, but game as it exists today certainly seems to be more about changing into the best version of yourself you can be. If you choose your advice with common sense and reject the misogynistic crap, you might find yourself able to talk to the opposite sex much more easily, and not just in the clubs either. My housemate was the shyest guy around girls back in school. He met up with a few supportive, like minded guys and now I can't help but admire his ability to just walk up to a girl on the street, have a light conversation, and walk away with her phone number and a date cued up later that week. Total transformation.

 

[Dragonlayer]

I date the same way I conduct all my social interactions: with a knife, balaclava and a hefty bottle of chloroform.

 

[iller3]

I only know 1 thing about dating....

Don't even TRY to do it online unless you're a chick. (and even then, only if you're thin). ...seriously for guys, online dating is like Hellmode difficulty using the gimpiest Class in the game where you have to spam "use" on every single door in like a 500-door pitch black dungeon with no Gamma slider and you're stuck with the Doom3-flashlight. And every door with a cricket chirp behind it lowers your Stats as you go which is still far better than the ones with catfish in them. The win probability is somewhat worse than unlocking a strange unusual from a bunch of later series Crates. And the worst part is, that while you're doing this, 5000 other guys are all doing the same exact thing, spamming the same 500 doors even faster and they're all in YOUR instance too even though they don't live anywhere close to the server.

...and no, having a sense of humor doesn't help one bit, the NPC who told you that is sleeping with the Publisher!

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

I make friends, and if I find a lady friend attractive or potentially attractive (I'm way more turned on by a good personality than physical attributes), then I'll get to know them more and consider asking them out.

Most of the time, it turns out that any girl I have any interest in are already taken (I'm picky. I look for girls who are kindhearted, intelligent and at least open to geeky things, which is in high demand).

Sooo...I'm single and friendly, looking for friends who might possibly become something more.

I did land a 3 year relationship that way and it was awesome.

...Until it turns out that although she was normally smart, she lacked a critical component of common sense. If you're in some way not getting what you need out of a relationship and the feelings of love are fading, you either accept it and accept the new paradigm of the relationship...OR YOU TELL YOUR PARTNER THAT THERE IS A PROBLEM. You do NOT sit on those feelings for a year because "my BF is so perfect I don't wanna hurt him by telling him that I'm losing my feelings for him". That's just going to make you miserable and finally render the relationship unfixable, and then you're going to dump all those feelings on him in one shot, not give him a chance to fix it, and then break his heart completely and render him an emotional wreck for over 6 months. *makes an irritated screeching noise*

...I'm fine. It's been a year. I've dealt with most of the negative emotions from that fallout. But it took most of that year to put an end to those periods of total misery that cropped up whenever something reminded me of her.

 

[sageoftruth]

For me, it's just been randomly meeting people at events my friends hosted. Finding a girlfriend hasn't really been very high in my priorities list, so my relationships just tend to happen by chance.

 

[Foolery]

Dating is what you do when you're reasonably extroverted and sociable. I'm not really either one of those things. Not that I'm a complete weirdo or hermit, I just don't get on well with what most of my local dating pool likes to do. Which is go to parties, watch sports, camping. I have a hard time relating to people and my introverted nature seems like a bit of a turnoff for most women (I doubt that statement is completely true, but extroversion seems to be the preferable quality to have). Honestly, not a high priority, and I'm not into self-loathing or anything, I just have other stuff that takes up my time. I would like to meet more people, but it'd be best if they have similar interests to me. I've put myself out there before, and man, it sucks feeling alone in a room full of people, because you have a lack of commonalities.

 

[Pyrian]

It's possible to learn social skills. It's not easy. You have to be willing to practice. And fail. A lot. Even figuring when you've failed might be something you have to learn. In most cases you will never learn why you failed, so that makes things more difficult. (Virtually nobody will tell you. In the very rare case where you're given a reason at all, they are almost certainly leaving out most of the truth, if not outright lying.)

I find most people with this problem falter at the "willing to practice and fail a lot" stage. Basically just wait around and hope that someone scoops them up. Sometimes they get scooped up, mostly they don't, and all-too-often it's hardly a good thing if they do.

Allow me to attempt an analogy:

"I want to make a game!"
"Great! Are you going to learn programming?"
"No."
"Fix bugs?"
"No."
"Download a game engine?"
"No."
"Market it?"
"No, I just want it to happen magically and naturally with no effort or courage on my part."

Good luck with that.

 

[THM]

Infrequently.