How do you deal with death?

[Elamdri]

A friend of mine just lost a close friend to pretty tragic circumstances. It made me realise how damn tricky death is to handle. Many of my friends are all reacting in very different ways.

Whilst death is a huge part of life and it is something that everyone deals with, it never gets any easier to handle. I have lost someone extremely close to me, and I went through a long stage of denial and conflicting emotions. It was probably the single most confusing part of my life. It almost feels like the human brain can't comprehend death. Which is strange, because death is just as much a part of life as life itself is. You would think after the long period of our existence, we would get better at dealing with it.

So, Escapists, how do you handle it? Do you believe getting over a death can be rationalised, or is it a solely emotional journey?

Tell me your thoughts!

I lost my dad when I was relatively young and it was tough for a long while, but at the end of the day, you can either let the sorrow consume you or you can choose to persevere. The death of someone you love is a wound that you carry inside you, after a while, it begins to heal, and eventually it stops hurting, but it leaves a scar, a permanent reminder.

 

[JohnTomorrow]

Having never lost someone close to me, i cannot really speculate as to how i'd feel if any of them died. My mother was involved in a car accident when i was 7, and has been in a hospice ever since, trapped in her own body - when she dies, i'll mourn, but i think i'll be more happy then sad, because her suffering will truely be over.

Even thinking about my wife or father dying makes me feel sad, but i think when the time comes, i'll just shut down. Bottle it up, push it away, forget about it, move on with my life. Its how i deal with the majority of my issues that i can only fix up to a point.

 

[Cazza]

I take my mind off it. Doing every day things. Then I just accept it.

 

[AnkaraTheFallen]

Having lost my mom recently, dealing with death for me is a pretty lengthy process.

You will generally go through the mourning stages, which will vary from person to person.

I know that I haven't really dealt with my mom's death, and she's ben gone now for a little over three months. Of course, I knew it was coming since she had cancer, and we were told roughly the timeframe that she had, so I think I went through the mounring process a bit while she was in the hospital and still with us. I, like so many others, dive into things that interest me. I focused a lot of school work, friends, games, anything to keep me from thinking about it. Eventually, though, I have to sleep, and it's that time of the day where I'm winding down to hit the sack that it gets me. Sometimes it's just a feeling of having lost someone. Sometimes, it's pretty hard, and I cry a bit.

Already though, I'm starting to forget the fine details of her weeks in the hospital, the miligrams of the medications and the times she was supposed to take them, the doctor's names and faces, room numbers, and even floor numbers.

The mind has a way of protecting itself from things that we either don't want to remember or that would cause damage/impede the psyche. I remember my mom well in the memories we had before she got sick. I recall certain times in the hospital, but try as I might, it's fading away.

I remember the night she passed, I was calling family to let them know, and I called my gf to tell her, and right after I did, I asked her how her day was. She thought that it was so strange that I could have a normal conversation, and I told her that it would probably hit me in the next few days.

I know that many people that post on here have seen me bring up my mom's passing a lot lately, and I know that it must be getting annoying, but it's part of the way I deal with it. I'll talk about it until I feel like I've come to terms with it. Dad's finally getting his head back on straight, so I'll probably have my time to deal with it coming up shortly.

This will undoubtedly make me seem horrible, but in a way, I'm kinda envious that death has that effect on you (and other people to be honest) because every time someone close to me has died, it just doesn't seem to affect me. I mean I do feel upset about it, but I never seem to cry over it and I don't have moments when I'll look back and remember them unless I'm actually trying to, heck, I can't even remember when some of them actually died, and I hate myself for it.

 

[Dr. wonderful]

Cry.

I'm not going to kid someone, I'm not some supa tough badass. I will cry for the dead.

 

[JochemDude]

I can easily put it to rest, but I'll always be sad when I see an old picture of him, might even drop a tear especially if I start thinking back.

 

[ThatJagoGuy]

I used to be one of those people who are like, "Ah no - Death doesn't affect me". I used to think I was pretty bad-ass as a result that I neither feared nor cared about death or dying.

That was until my best friend died and I realised that I had only been that flippant because I hadn't properly lost before that. Grandparents, old acquaintances, pets... they never got to me. When my mate died in a bike accident, it changed everything. It's been almost 3 years and I still have the occasional emotional breakdown over it.

Oh, and the damned films!! Has anyone else found that they suddenly become incredibly susceptible to sad films?! It's actually pretty funny that films like Cloverfield can reduce me to tears.

As for dealing. I don't really deal. I get pretty angry whenever anyone talks about it. Especially the idiots who barely knew him, bringing it up all the time as though they want sympathy. One day they're likely to get a smack.

Sorry for everyone on here that's experiencing a loss. I do, however, find a bit of selfish solace in the fact that there are others in my position.

 

[phantasmalWordsmith]

I don't think about it or react to it. I blank it out of my mind.