How do you go about telling someone your feelings?
- Thread starter chozo_hybrid
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Whatever you do, you should do it soon so that you don't end up like me. I took too long to tell my friend my feelings for her, and she found someone else.chozo_hybrid said:
long story short, don't take too long, as the world will not wait for you. Good luck.
1) Fly to the moon
2) Etch a love-you note in the side of the moon with a laser beam
3) Be sure to dot your "i"s with hearts
4) ?????
5) Profit
In all seriousness though, simple words work just fine. Its a bit awkward, but you just need to come out with it.
2) Etch a love-you note in the side of the moon with a laser beam
3) Be sure to dot your "i"s with hearts
4) ?????
5) Profit
In all seriousness though, simple words work just fine. Its a bit awkward, but you just need to come out with it.
Seeing as im a complete wuss when it comes to these things now, I didn't use to be like that, I get drunk and send texts, probably not the best course of action but hey it has worked..... once
This is why I plan to do it soon, so if I don't chicken out you'll hear about it.avatar_vii said:
What I Did when I was 13, to an 18 year old :
Told her I really liked her
Told her She'd really grown on me and told her I didn't want to see her run off with some asshole
Told her She probably got where this was going
She spent around a week evaluating everything before deciding we should wait till I'm 16 and give it a try
Told her I really liked her
Told her She'd really grown on me and told her I didn't want to see her run off with some asshole
Told her She probably got where this was going
She spent around a week evaluating everything before deciding we should wait till I'm 16 and give it a try
Okay, seriously. It's this simple. Walk up to them, call them, or contact them when you realise your feelings, or just decide to tell them. It doesn't have to be the right time. There is no right time. Do it the moment you get the urge. Do not think. Say, "listen, can we talk in private" if there are others around.
If they refuse talking to you at all, drop the subject and let go. If they want to talk later, obviously, let 'em. Anyway, once you have them alone, tell them "I've had a thing for you for [however long]." It doesn't have to be an "I love you". Actually, trying to say that is ridiculously hard. Just say you have a thing for them and ask them out. This works.
People overcomplicate this process with romantic notions and advice to do things like writing poetry and songs and such. That only works if you're a creative person, and even then it can come across as hammy or incredibly lame to people in this awkward generation. I suggest putting that whole deal aside unless you're an incredibly talented rock star or writer. Going out of your way to impress them can leave them nervous and/or put off by your trying too hard. They think they will never catch up to you in the feelings department if you do this.
The only time I'd recommend being creative is in return to a creative approach of this nature. Being creative together is about a million times better than making the guy stand outside your window singing something atrocious with an acoustic guitar. Or letting the girl sing solo but secretly only for you in choir (which I've had happen before, amusingly: I'm not religious so on that level it was hard to relate to the gesture).
If they refuse talking to you at all, drop the subject and let go. If they want to talk later, obviously, let 'em. Anyway, once you have them alone, tell them "I've had a thing for you for [however long]." It doesn't have to be an "I love you". Actually, trying to say that is ridiculously hard. Just say you have a thing for them and ask them out. This works.
People overcomplicate this process with romantic notions and advice to do things like writing poetry and songs and such. That only works if you're a creative person, and even then it can come across as hammy or incredibly lame to people in this awkward generation. I suggest putting that whole deal aside unless you're an incredibly talented rock star or writer. Going out of your way to impress them can leave them nervous and/or put off by your trying too hard. They think they will never catch up to you in the feelings department if you do this.
The only time I'd recommend being creative is in return to a creative approach of this nature. Being creative together is about a million times better than making the guy stand outside your window singing something atrocious with an acoustic guitar. Or letting the girl sing solo but secretly only for you in choir (which I've had happen before, amusingly: I'm not religious so on that level it was hard to relate to the gesture).
One thing I'v learned over the years is that talking to a girl about feelings is a bad idea. Apparently they're into mystery or some other such nonsense, and telling them how you feel ruins it. I've lost three friends who got "bored" of me because I told them how I felt. These girls, mind you, were also very nice girls down to the last detail. Good grades, nice to everyone, at church every Sunday, etc...
Really, I would figure since I ask instead of not trying to get a little advice I would gain man cards as I don't perpetuate the stereotype of the man who never asks for help.Counterwise said:
I don't expect to be spoon fed anything, I was just wondering how others have gone about this, that is what off-topic threads are for, anything you want to talk about.
Eh, maybe if you're a rich poet, but otherwise that sounds like an expensive way to tell a girl that you're a big Sally. Gifts just reinforce that "Nice Guy" image, which unless you look like a model, can be pretty off-putting. Might there be an exception, though? Did it work when you did that?Thealchemistofwhite said:
OT: You don't want to start out by buying gifts, or writing songs (unless you already do that as a hobby), you need to get her to see you as a romantic partner and not a friend. That's a lot harder when you're already in the friend zone. Hopefully she already half sees you that way, but if not you're in for a tough time. My advice would be to just give it a shot, like ask her out to something unmistakably date-ish, like dancing, or dinner and a movie with just the two of you, something that is new and won't be mistaken as just a chance to hang out as friends. If she accepts (and realizes why you're asking), then just do all the right date things and you should be golden (doing a first date right is a completely different topic). If she doesn't accept and does the whole "I just want to be friends" bit, then you may just have to accept that you missed the boat with her. The friend zone is a tough place to be, so short of something perfect that pushes the right buttons and creates attraction, you may have to skip it. Don't cripple yourself romantically by getting hung up on one girl.
I just talk to them in faux-Old English when I do so. If they like/understand it, I know that they'll say yes. If they look perplexed, then I'll just leave it be. No point in being close to somebody who doesn't get small things like that.
I've never been really good at sharing my feelings with anyone, let alone a girl I like. The words just fail to come out, and the few times they did ended up with the girl either saying no, or that we should just be friends(back then, it hurt all the same). But, I didn't let it keep me down for too long. Although, it's been a while since I've told a girl how I felt about her. Hurray for being shy. Ha. Oh well, that's life. I'm still young, so one day it will happen the way I expect it to, more or less. It just hasn't yet.
Not necessarily true as a whole. It's a damn shame that's happened, but I haven't lost any lady friends because I've told them how I've felt. Then again, pretty much everyone who I like that way is as painfully shy as I am.Yarkaz said:
I actually just got a chance to do this in a subtle way through a Facebook note. It was a note of the "Post your name and I'll tell you a few things about you from my perspective" variety, and one of the questions was "What song you remind me of." The girl in question posted her name, and I took a chance by posting a song that pretty much perfectly described how I felt(quite shy), knowing that her interest in music would probably lead her to look it up(Aside: she actually couldn't find the song in question, so I got her email address so I could send it to her, just as a little bonus in case we want to communicate that way if we get into something). I'm not really sure if it worked, since our contact has been limited since school let out and her mother's harsh restrictions on her internet time. But, if it's someone you know well, but you don't want to try a direct approach, try sending a message in the form of something she really likes, a song, a painting or a picture, a story, etc.
-Your friendly, if not necessarily helpful, fellow hopeless forum-goer,
Taco of Flames
-Your friendly, if not necessarily helpful, fellow hopeless forum-goer,
Taco of Flames
Nothing. I'm not very good at talking to people, much less the ones that I might be sorta interested in. In the few times I have said something, it came out completely awkward and wrong, and that was the end of that. This isnt just with potential love interests though, but also in casual conversation as well. This is just not something I am good with in any form. Its sad, really, because I am, if I do say so myself, pretty good at conveying thoughts through writing. Its when I actually have to say what I am thinking that the problems begin.
Give them cake and tell them how you feel. The cake will make them like you more, and if they say no anyway, take the cake away. That way you get revenge AND you have cake!
"This is how I feel, what do you think about it?"
I can't be anything but very blunt when it comes to emotions.
I can't be anything but very blunt when it comes to emotions.
When the time is right you'll know,I usually just come right out and say it if I really need to...I'm normally painfully shy,but love usually gives you the strength to do what you must,Wait till the time is right,and your heart will tell you when to say it,Good luck and God bless.