How far would you go to be happy in a relationship?

[infinity_turtles]

The thread title confuses me. If doing something would make me happy, how could one call it going far? I mean, compromising for my own happiness isn't compromising, it's more like trying to get the most out of my situation.

That said, I suppose I'd find an actual job instead of whoring myself out for money. But then, I kind of want to do that once I've saved up anyway, so I don't think it really counts. I dunno, I can't think of any real life-changing things I'd be willing to do that I'm not already weighing the possibilities of. I've got a lot of pride in who I am, and I can't see myself happy in any relationship that calls for a lot of change on my part because of it.

 

[AVATAR_RAGE]

This thread has been inspired by events in my own life. Also apologies if something similiar has been made before.

Essentially what's happened to me, is I fell completly for a girl. We're now dating and have been for quite a while. We're also now seriously discussing marraige and plan to do it.
The catch here though, is she's Muslim. Which essentially means for me, to be able to marry her, I have to convert.

So, my question is, how far is too far for you in a relationship?

EDIT: For the record, I am converting, and have no problem doing so. The situation just got me thinking about what others would do.

Honestly I would not convert my religion is important to me. To be honest I would find it a hollow conversion, so I have a lot of respect for you for doing that.

 

[Hader]

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There's a difference in going far to keep a relationship and going to great lengths to achieve one. I will assume you mean something along the lines of the former.

In that case, I think it is best to say that yes, I would go quite far to keep a relationship strong if it meant very much to me. And I have before, but the other party had different ideas and that didn't work out. I still would go to great lengths though, for the next girl that truly feels worth it.

 

[CyanideDream]

EDIT: Almost forgot, The point of the thread. How far would I go? I took two bullets. I will never go that far again.

I want to hear THAT story.

 

[DarkLordofDevon]

My girlfriend is a christian and I am an atheist and so far its not been a problem. You don't need to convert to marry someone of another faith as far as I'm concerned. I respect her beliefs and she respects mine. I could never convert purely because I could never believe, and belief is the core of all religion so if I was to say I had 'converted' it would be a hollow gesture and just be a lie. However, I always try to incorporate her religious needs into life even if I do not share them or practice them myself.

 

[SL33TBL1ND]

Depends how far I'd have to go. Context is everything.

My girlfriend is a christian and I am an atheist and so far its not been a problem. You don't need to convert to marry someone of another faith as far as I'm concerned. I respect her beliefs and she respects mine. I could never convert purely because I could never believe, and belief is the core of all religion so if I was to say I had 'converted' it would be a hollow gesture and just be a lie. However, I always try to incorporate her religious needs into life even if I do not share them or practice them myself.

Notice the religion of the woman in question. Muslim. Saying their religious laws are a tad stricter than Christianity's is an immense understatement.

 

[thom_cat_]

Well I wouldn't accept religion... even if I loved her she'd have to accept my atheism.

 

[viranimus]

EDIT: Almost forgot, The point of the thread. How far would I go? I took two bullets. I will never go that far again.

I want to hear THAT story.

Follow the snips

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[Ipsen]

Nothing is too far in a relationship of love; you can always find reciprocation in something you love, if you're open to it.

Now that the fluffy philosophical comment is out of the way, it should be mentioned that (healthy) people carry more than one love in life. Even when it comes to loving people, other loves (such as religion, in your case) have to be measured in your actions; is this love an obstacle to you or your relationship, or a favor?

 

[Sebenko]

Meh, I think the question for me is "how far will I go to maintain a normal life until I get to be happy?"

It's pretty difficult not to just to give up on everything and think "nah, it won't matter when I move in with my boyfriend".

 

[lettucethesallad]

Almost forgot, The point of the thread. How far would I go? I took two bullets. I will never go that far again.

Wow. Flabbergasted. This may be too personal (and if so I appologize), but is there a story behind that?

OT: If I were serious about someone, I'd do alot, sometimes to the point of stupid. I took a guy putting me down, making me feel like an idiot, for 2 years before I stopped to think.

But when it comes to religion, I'm not sure. I'm an atheist, and religion just doesn't sit right with me. Raised in a lutheran home with a priest father, I've had contact with people from all religions during my growing up. No religion has ever felt right to me, or made sense when I've grown old enough to think about things logically. Thus I'd probably have serious problems if someone I loved were to ask me to convert, or the relationship couldn't go anywhere. Some people would probably not take the actually converting seriously, but I think that's unfair to the person you're with, as well as disrespectful to other people who actually practice that religion with sincerity.

I would see how serious this religious issue was with the person I loved first, but chances are that if he were a devout... well, anything, and wanted me to be too, or the relationship was over, it'd probably be over. Painful as may be, if it feels wrong, it's not fair to emotionally blackmail someone into doing it (which I'm NOT saying your fiance is doing btw, just illustrating an example).

On a lighter note, congratulations to finding someone you're so serious about, and best of luck to you!

 

[Quaxar]

I wouldn't take up a religion but i would bold face lie to a reverend to get married to a girl i love.

You could just find a sea capt'n or a judge. Why does everyone over look that?

I was thinking the same thing... since when do you need to convert to a religion to marry so that the state acknowledges it? It's Ireland, not the Arab Emirates!
Besides, you could marry like this:

 

[GeorgW]

I'd go too far for my own good. I'd kill for love, easily. I don't even know my own limit. What can I say, I'm a romantic.