How long does it take to get over it?

[Wadders]

Hello Escapist!

I was just wondering how long it takes you guys (or gals) to get over someone?

'Cause by all rights, I ought to be over a girl by now. After several "encounters" (god that's such a lame way of saying we shagged) She told me she really liked me, I told her I felt likewise, and then all of a sudden she changes her mind.

Now I respect her feelings, so I've not made any attempts, but I still feel sad, and I really think I should be over her by now, but I cant help it.

So my lame story aside, how long does it take (on average) for you guys and gals to get over someone you like?

/end long winded whine about how sorry I feel for myself.

Also slightly off topic: Who else likes the new Robbie Williams Album?

 

[BlumiereBleck]

it never passes it always stays with u

 

[Irridium]

Well, I got over a girl rather quickly.

Granted I'm the one who dumped her ass. So that may have something to do with it.

 

[CoverYourHead]

Last time I was in a relationship I was the breaker-up-er. So... instantly! Being a jerk-ass has its perks. Honestly, I'm still in school, so any relationships I have going on are just awkward hormone-fueled events, so I have no real issue getting over people.

Hope you feel better! There's lots of fish in the sea... and all that good stuff.

 

[NotAPie]

For me it's taking a while, but I'm getting better.
It really depends.

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

You actually care for her or were you just trying to stay in her pants when you said you felt likewise

You actually cared, might never get rid of it.

In her pants, soon after you find a new sex buddy

That's my "Never been in a relationship" guess

 

[aPod]

Eh, the ones you really care about always stay with you. Sometimes you think about them but all i can say is you just keep going and eventually find someone better, or not. Hopefully you will.

Dont be narrow-minded there are alot of wonderful women out there. Alot.

 

[PrimoThePro]

depends. One girl I thought I loved her, and when she flat out rejected me it took me about 4 years to get over it. More recently, I broke up with a girl I was dating and thought I loved her in the early days. After breaking up though, I just feel lighter.

 

[Julianking93]

Took me a while to get over my first after she broke up with me.

She didn't let me down easy.

When I told her I thought I loved her, she laughed and said she could never love someone like me.

I hope she dies of AIDS

 

[Infinatex]

7 seconds. I'm pretty easy going and don't care about very much. I get bored very easily too, so relationships don't last very long (more in it for the thrill of the chase). What happens happens, you can't change it, so no need to think about it.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

I'm at six months and still not over my last girl, but then again, I was a lot closer to her than I have been to anyone for a very very long time (we were close friends first), so the reason I'm finding it so hard is because I also lost my best friend.

 

[Ursus Astrorum]

Last time took me, oh, three and a half weeks. Much less because she was a girlfriend (I being the one that ended it and all) and much more because she was a good friend of mine on top of it and she still lied to me, for quite a while before we went out. Relationships not working out, I can handle. Betraying me for no other reason than your own selfishness and cowardice is another matter entirely. And though I'm not absolutely shaken by it anymore, it's still not the best thing in the world to think about for me. But I digress.

 

[Iconsting]

Less than 3 seconds.

 

[chozo_hybrid]

it never passes it always stays with u

That's kind of a lie, it depends on the person.

I was just let go after a two year relationship, but I've had serious ones before this too. It can just take time, for some it's longer then others.

Just don't let it get in the way of perhaps finding (whether by accident or no) someone else.

 

[Nicolai]

General rule for longer relationships seems to be one less time period than how long the relationship lasted, but yours sounds like it might have been shorter. So a three year relationship takes around three months to clear your head enough to really get out there, usually. Three month relationship takes around three weeks.

That said, that rule usually only holds for people who've had multiple relationships and are planning to get out there again, which isn't always the way it goes. Also, those are guesses, we're all different people and much of it depends how the relationship and breakup works. Some people only take days after they realise it's ended, some people never really get a sense of themselves back.

 

[Iconsting]

Break ups are just a part of life, brooding over something like that is something I've never understood especially considering the fact that whenever I see two people in a relationship, at least one of them looks like they'd rather be anywhere else in the world. I see "Heartbreak" As a liberating experience for me. I get to be around my friends more, I'm allowed to admire women other than my significant other again, and if I want to go back to the relationship thing, my options are open.

Okay that last part is a lie, I'm a fat slob who doesn't have very open options at all.

 

[BonsaiK]

Hello Escapist!

I was just wondering how long it takes you guys (or gals) to get over someone?

'Cause by all rights, I ought to be over a girl by now. After several "encounters" (god that's such a lame way of saying we shagged) She told me she really liked me, I told her I felt likewise, and then all of a sudden she changes her mind.

Now I respect her feelings, so I've not made any attempts, but I still feel sad, and I really think I should be over her by now, but I cant help it.

So my lame story aside, how long does it take (on average) for you guys and gals to get over someone you like?

/end long winded whine about how sorry I feel for myself.

Also slightly off topic: Who else likes the new Robbie Williams Album?

I've always found songwriting to be Robbie Williams' weak point and his latest material is no exception. His arrangements are also not very adventurous. He's talented but it wouldn't kill him to take a few more risks with his formula.

You other question has been answered in the Relationship Problem Thread, which is at the following link: ---> http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.117161-Relationship-problem-thread?page=27#5262241

 

[Mozared]

That depends.

We broke up five years ago, have tried literally everything from staying close to completely ignoring eachother but end up running back to eachother in one way or another anyway. All this has got me so confused about whether this is 'real love', whether we should just 'get over eachother' or whether we 'have some kind of attraction but can't really be together' that I've really just given up thinking about it. Right now, I'd probably like to be with her, so for as far as she wants me we talk, meet up and socialize. If we end up 'being together' again, then so be it - if not, pity.

 

[Iron Criterion]

I got over the vast majority of my failed relationships rather quickly, i.e. somewhere between 3 - 7 days.

However I still haven't properly got over my most recent ex, even though it has been about a month now, this could probably be due to the fact that she was once my best friend and I saw her as the so-called 'one'.