How Many Children Could You Fend Off?

[Teoes]

If I pick up one and start using it like a club, alot.

Aw dammit I was scrolling down the page hoping I wouldn't be ninja'd to that response!

The real question should be: how many do you mess with (pick 'em up and let 'em hang there, swinging at you; see how far you can throw them; etc.) before you get down to bid'ness and just start putting them down as efficiently as possible with straight punches and kicks?

 

[Warachia]

According to this I can only take twenty 5 year olds in a fight which I think kinda sucks.

Apparently I can do 31, so I managed to beat the guy in their header.
That's a pretty poor quiz honestly, mostly because the suggestions it gives are too limited, it's possible for somebody to have both fat and muscle, it doesn't take into account how quickly you or the kids get tired, or how fast you or the kids can recover, among other factors.

 

[GundamSentinel]

The test says 27. I think I can take more. Don't overestimate the fighting power of a 5-year old. It's basically 0.

 

[LegendaryVKickr]

What an enigmatic question...Do I have a weapon? Do they? What did I do to piss off so many kids?

If I don't have a weapon...Probably a lot. One punch = one downed five year old.

If I do have a weapon...Isn't this a bit unfair? Think of the children!

If they have a weapon and I don't...I might be in trouble.

If we both have weapons...Ninja swordfighting with children? sounds like a bad movie pitch.

Long story short, unless they're given a significant advantage over me, I think the cops are gonna be asking me why I have a lawn filled with unconscious children and possibly katanas.

 

[DanielBrown]

According to this I can only take twenty 5 year olds in a fight which I think kinda sucks.

Hm, I got 23. Since it is at once it seems resonable. One by one I think at least 200 would be doable. Kids are tiny and weak, I'm huge and strong!

 

[FalloutJack]

If I pick up one and start using it like a club, alot.

Aw dammit I was scrolling down the page hoping I wouldn't be ninja'd to that response!

The real question should be: how many do you mess with (pick 'em up and let 'em hang there, swinging at you; see how far you can throw them; etc.) before you get down to bid'ness and just start putting them down as efficiently as possible with straight punches and kicks?

Anyway, I think we're asking maximum amount using the best at our disposal.

If we both have weapons...Ninja swordfighting with children? sounds like a bad movie pitch.

Long story short, unless they're given a significant advantage over me, I think the cops are gonna be asking me why I have a lawn filled with unconscious children and possibly katanas.

I think that's a GREAT movie pitch for a deliberate parody, or possibly a comic for XKCD.

 

[Shinsei-J]

I think I could take at least 70 if they're swarming, they're low enough for a one hit KO knee to the face but still high enough for what I can only assume to be called a sweeping close fisted karate chop to hit about six of them in one go. Having the Great Cleave feat comes in handy for situations like these. Plus fighting that many pretty much assures me an adrenaline hit allowing me to stay standing for longer.

Against them attacking me one at a time? maybe around 90 before I get tired/bored and give up.

 

[Sandjube]

18, according to that quiz. I was going to say 20, so I'm pretty sure that's about right.

 

[Yuuki]

Even if they're 5 years old, I'm pretty sure they'll be smart enough to realize it's a bad idea to attack an adult once I...er...demonstrate what happens on one or two unlucky ones

 

[Caiphus]

Sitting rather low on 17.

Oh wells, I'd better stay away from groups of 18+ kids. They might eat me.

 

[Strazdas]

A lot. i am a patient person, and they come one by one, they would have to pile their dead bodies so high it falls on me and crushes me before i let them touch me.

According to this I can only take twenty 5 year olds in a fight which I think kinda sucks.

I got 16.

That's 36 if we team up though!

Pff, amateurs, i got 26!

 

[Colour Scientist]

According to this I can only take twenty 5 year olds in a fight which I think kinda sucks.

I got 16.

That's 36 if we team up though!

Pff, amateurs, i got 26!

As a team, we'd kick your arse in a baby-fighting competition.

 

[DataSnake]

If they're zombies: Only the ones I absolutely have to knock out of my way when hightailing it. The more you engage, the greater the odds one of them gets a lucky bite in.
If they're under mind control: I'd probably have to break a leg each so they couldn't keep coming (assuming whoever was controlling them could make them ignore pain, you still physically can't run at someone with a shattered tibia), and bone is a lot tougher than you might expect, so not that many.
If they're neither, just little bastards in "Lord of the Flies" mode: Kill the first one messily and painfully enough and there won't be a second.

 

[Strazdas]

According to this I can only take twenty 5 year olds in a fight which I think kinda sucks.

I got 16.

That's 36 if we team up though!

Pff, amateurs, i got 26!

As a team, we'd kick your arse in a baby-fighting competition.

I guess being INjustice we would team up anyway, and beat those babies with united force. I cast flare.

 

[Hoplon]

39. I am a professional though.

 

[Jamieson 90]

I could defeat them all with only a few words.

"Be good boys and girls or Santa won't bring you anything for Christmas."

Every single 5 year old goes stock still as they think about the ramifications of their actions, followed by them all sitting cross legged with their fingers' upon their lips.

"That's right, be good, children."

 

[dave1004]

I'm still recovering from the time that I opened a chocolate bar at lunch-time when I was walking past a playground on a week-day.

I still can't look at a Twix without remembering the agony I suffered.

But, to be honest...If they were just, you know, kids, I probably couldn't really hurt any of them. I mean, they're kids. I'd definitely run away or push them down, but I wouldn't want to hurt them. Though, I suppose that the topic is not in a literal sense, so I could take on a decent number, depending on the age. I love to run, am good at it and most of my work involves heavy lifting or construction, so I can pack a punch. But I'm not a fighter.

The test says that I could "You could take on 27 five year old kids in a fight."