How Movies You Hated Could Have Been Better

[The Virgo]

Have you ever seen a movie that was terrible and you thought to yourself, "Wow, what a piece of shit! If I had been in charge of making this movie ..."

Well, that's what this thread is about. Name a movie you saw that was really terrible and then tell us what you would have done to make it better. YOU CANNOT SAY "I WOULD HAVE CANNED THE MOVIE." THAT IS NOT A VALID POST. Either tell us how you would have made the movie better or don't post at all.

For me, the most recent movie that I saw was Dinner for Schmucks. All I can say is that I am forever thankful that I got it from Netflix and I didn't pay for a movie ticket plus popcorn, skittles and a drink, because I would have been pissed. I watched most of the movie in fast forward and as soon as the dinner scene was done, I stopped the movie and put it back in the envelope. I wasn't even interested in watching the ending it was that bad.

Here's what I would have done to improve it: First, I would have dropped all that bullshit about Carell causing that guy (can't remember his name) to lose his girlfriend and whatnot. If it's one thing I cannot fucking stand in ANYTHING is when the writers contrive a plot. Fuck that bullshit.

The second thing I would have done is focus the movie more on the dinner. That was the funny part of the whole movie right there. Especially the woman who can hear animals from "the other side". She was really great! But the problem was that the dinner part came in about one hour and thirty minutes into that turd of a movie. Fuck that! I would have focused the movie on the dinner itself instead of all the stuff before it.

I mean, did we need to have the main guy and his girlfriend break-up? Did we need to meet Galifinakis before the dinner? It would have been funnier if we had met him the first time there.

Anyway, that's what I would have done (besides REALLY IMPROVE THE SCRIPT). What about you guys and gals of the Escapist?

 

[Bobic]

The transformers movies.

Less time spent faffing about watching Shia Labouf (I can't be bothered to look up how to spell that) trying to get laid.
More time spent watching giant robots fight. Oh and in those fights, less close up shaky cam, it turns the whole thing into a blurry mess.
Also, cut the twins completely from the second film. What a complete waste of your giant multi robot monstrosity it was to have the twins be the ones to 'comically' take it on.

And, if I put my mind to it I'm sure I'd find plenty of other things that I'd change, the second film is one of the worst films I've ever seen (not counting all the films that are so bad they become entertaining).

 

[Rawne1980]

So we can't cancel the movie .... hmmmm

How to improve Open Water....

Make the film about 10 minutes long and have them both eaten by a giant shark, and with that I will save people from wasting their time watching what is in essence, 2 people treading water for nearly 2 hours.

If I have to keep it the same length i'd swap those tiny goldfish sized sharks they used with those from Deep Blue Sea.

 

[Dr Pussymagnet]

Huh, what a coincidence, I was just getting ready to watch Dinner for Schumcks.

Anyways I just saw Donnie Darko, not really sure how I could improve that movie, I just know I hated it. Maybe it had something to do with Jake Gyllenhaal's acting, there was something about it that annoyed me throughout the entire film.

 

[The Virgo]

Huh, what a coincidence, I was just getting ready to watch Dinner for Schumcks.

You may enjoy it. I'm not speaking for the world. Maybe it's my fault because I just don't appreciate that kind of humor. All I'm saying is that, in my opinion, I enjoyed Uwe Boll's "Alone in the Dark" more than Dinner for Schmucks. No, I am not exaggerating, I honestly think that Uwe Boll was better than this.

Anyways I just saw Donnie Darko, not really sure how I could improve that movie, I just know I hated it. Maybe it had something to do with Jake Gyllenhaal's acting, there was something about it that annoyed me throughout the entire film.

Speaking of coincidence, I am actually planning on watching that movie! A friend of mine told me about it and, if anything, I would watch it just for Gary Jules' version of "Mad World".

 

[Sniper Team 4]

Okay, I think Revenge of the Sith is the worst Star Wars prequel movie of the three. Yes, I know it's often praised the best, but not to me. Here's what I get from the movie:

--Jedi are insanely weak. If they have to fight more than three opponents, they're toast.

--To turn to the dark side, all it takes is one sentence.

--All the tech in the world can't save someone's life if they decide they don't have a reason to live.

--Speaking of a reason to live, how about those two bundles of joy you just had? You know, the ones that are going to want their mommy?

--Amazing CGI does NOT equal a great battle. It actually equals too much information on screen to follow.

--"These Wookies are all dead." Okay, what does that have to do with anything?

--In order to be on the Jedi, you need to have zero experience with lightsaber combat. Unless you are a senior member.

So, how would I fix all of this? I will give it my best shot

1) When Order 66 is given, the Jedi go down like punks. At least Ki-Adi took one (or was it two?) whole clone trooper with him. Keep in mind that these are the best Jedi, as many of them were on the Council. I always seem to recall Jedi have a danger sense that warns them that something is off. Oh yeah! Remember, Yoda used it! So, here's what should have happened. Show the Jedi fighting for their lives against the clones, and keep cutting to different scenes. It starts with Ki-Adi deflecting a shot into a clone trooper, then cuts to Ayla leaping away and igniting her saber. Keep cycling, showing the Jedi cutting down the clones but slowly being overwhelmed. Finally, when it cuts to Yoda clutching his heart, but back to each Jedi and show them dead, surrounded by clone corpses. At least they went out fighting. While were at it, the 501st should have had to climb over a small mountain of their brothers while attack the temple. A fifteen year old body took out five of them alone before they killed him.

2)Anakin's fall should have simply been written better. He is on his knees weeping about what he's done, and all the Emperor has to say is, "You're fulfilling your destiny." Oh, is that it? Okay. I'm off the murder all my friends and little children now because it's my destiny. How do I know? Because the very enemy I've been helping to track down all this time told me so, and I believe him over all of you. To fix this, we would need to rewrite several things from all three movies, and there's simply not enough time. A quick summary: Make the Jedi seem like they are becoming corrupted as their decisions go more along with political power. Currently being done in Fate of the Jedi.

3)Dear God, Padme. You fail as a mother. You would rather die and weep in self pity than raise your kids, who should be the sole focus of your life now. Let's not forget that Leia mentions that she remembers you! Way to fix this: have Padme live on Alderaan, but the shock of what Anakin has done--and is still doing--is SLOWLY killing her over the years, like cancer. Plot hole from the first trilogy filled and Padme is no longer second worst parent in the Star Wars universe.

4)Go back and watch Return of the Jedi's space battles. Then compare that that to Revenge of the Sith. In Jedi, you get shots of random pilots talking, random ships exploding, and random battles. In Sith, it's Obi and Anakin talking in their cockpits while so many lights flash outside that you can't tell what's going on.

5)Every time I see this scene, I keep checking the Wookies to see if Yoda, Chewie and Tarffle are hiding under the corpses. They are not as far as I can tell. So that raise the question: Why is this scene here? To fix it, add what I just said into the scene.

6)You know when Mace goes with three other Jedi to arrest the Emperor? Did you see how quickly those other three went down? One literally stood there and let the Emperor stab him. Pathetic. At Least Fisto blocked ONCE before he went down. So much for the great swordsmen Jedi. To fix this, Palpatine need to split them up, fight them one at a time, and perhaps call in some guards for a distraction. Kind of like how Darth Maul Force shoved Obi away so he could fight Qui. Shove away Fisto, finish off Tin before Fisto can recover. Stuff like that.

Major bonus points if anyone actually bothered to read this whole thing. Sorry it's so long, but this movie makes me angry because I love Star Wars.

 

[Fr33Lanc3r.007]

Okay, I think Revenge of the Sith is the worst Star Wars prequel movie of the three. Yes, I know it's often praised the best, but not to me. Here's what I get from the movie:

--Jedi are insanely weak. If they have to fight more than three opponents, they're toast.

--To turn to the dark side, all it takes is one sentence.

--All the tech in the world can't save someone's life if they decide they don't have a reason to live.

--Speaking of a reason to live, how about those two bundles of joy you just had? You know, the ones that are going to want their mommy?

--Amazing CGI does NOT equal a great battle. It actually equals too much information on screen to follow.

--"These Wookies are all dead." Okay, what does that have to do with anything?

--In order to be on the Jedi, you need to have zero experience with lightsaber combat. Unless you are a senior member.

So, how would I fix all of this? I will give it my best shot

1) When Order 66 is given, the Jedi go down like punks. At least Ki-Adi took one (or was it two?) whole clone trooper with him. Keep in mind that these are the best Jedi, as many of them were on the Council. I always seem to recall Jedi have a danger sense that warns them that something is off. Oh yeah! Remember, Yoda used it! So, here's what should have happened. Show the Jedi fighting for their lives against the clones, and keep cutting to different scenes. It starts with Ki-Adi deflecting a shot into a clone trooper, then cuts to Ayla leaping away and igniting her saber. Keep cycling, showing the Jedi cutting down the clones but slowly being overwhelmed. Finally, when it cuts to Yoda clutching his heart, but back to each Jedi and show them dead, surrounded by clone corpses. At least they went out fighting. While were at it, the 501st should have had to climb over a small mountain of their brothers while attack the temple. A fifteen year old body took out five of them alone before they killed him.

2)Anakin's fall should have simply been written better. He is on his knees weeping about what he's done, and all the Emperor has to say is, "You're fulfilling your destiny." Oh, is that it? Okay. I'm off the murder all my friends and little children now because it's my destiny. How do I know? Because the very enemy I've been helping to track down all this time told me so, and I believe him over all of you. To fix this, we would need to rewrite several things from all three movies, and there's simply not enough time. A quick summary: Make the Jedi seem like they are becoming corrupted as their decisions go more along with political power. Currently being done in Fate of the Jedi.

3)Dear God, Padme. You fail as a mother. You would rather die and weep in self pity than raise your kids, who should be the sole focus of your life now. Let's not forget that Leia mentions that she remembers you! Way to fix this: have Padme live on Alderaan, but the shock of what Anakin has done--and is still doing--is SLOWLY killing her over the years, like cancer. Plot hole from the first trilogy filled and Padme is no longer second worst parent in the Star Wars universe.

4)Go back and watch Return of the Jedi's space battles. Then compare that that to Revenge of the Sith. In Jedi, you get shots of random pilots talking, random ships exploding, and random battles. In Sith, it's Obi and Anakin talking in their cockpits while so many lights flash outside that you can't tell what's going on.

5)Every time I see this scene, I keep checking the Wookies to see if Yoda, Chewie and Tarffle are hiding under the corpses. They are not as far as I can tell. So that raise the question: Why is this scene here? To fix it, add what I just said into the scene.

6)You know when Mace goes with three other Jedi to arrest the Emperor? Did you see how quickly those other three went down? One literally stood there and let the Emperor stab him. Pathetic. At Least Fisto blocked ONCE before he went down. So much for the great swordsmen Jedi. To fix this, Palpatine need to split them up, fight them one at a time, and perhaps call in some guards for a distraction. Kind of like how Darth Maul Force shoved Obi away so he could fight Qui. Shove away Fisto, finish off Tin before Fisto can recover. Stuff like that.

Major bonus points if anyone actually bothered to read this whole thing. Sorry it's so long, but this movie makes me angry because I love Star Wars.

I've read it all, and all I can add is a giant +1!

 

[kickyourass]

Okay, I think Revenge of the Sith is the worst Star Wars prequel movie of the three. Yes, I know it's often praised the best, but not to me. Here's what I get from the movie:

--Jedi are insanely weak. If they have to fight more than three opponents, they're toast.

--To turn to the dark side, all it takes is one sentence.

--All the tech in the world can't save someone's life if they decide they don't have a reason to live.

--Speaking of a reason to live, how about those two bundles of joy you just had? You know, the ones that are going to want their mommy?

--Amazing CGI does NOT equal a great battle. It actually equals too much information on screen to follow.

--"These Wookies are all dead." Okay, what does that have to do with anything?

--In order to be on the Jedi, you need to have zero experience with lightsaber combat. Unless you are a senior member.

So, how would I fix all of this? I will give it my best shot

1) When Order 66 is given, the Jedi go down like punks. At least Ki-Adi took one (or was it two?) whole clone trooper with him. Keep in mind that these are the best Jedi, as many of them were on the Council. I always seem to recall Jedi have a danger sense that warns them that something is off. Oh yeah! Remember, Yoda used it! So, here's what should have happened. Show the Jedi fighting for their lives against the clones, and keep cutting to different scenes. It starts with Ki-Adi deflecting a shot into a clone trooper, then cuts to Ayla leaping away and igniting her saber. Keep cycling, showing the Jedi cutting down the clones but slowly being overwhelmed. Finally, when it cuts to Yoda clutching his heart, but back to each Jedi and show them dead, surrounded by clone corpses. At least they went out fighting. While were at it, the 501st should have had to climb over a small mountain of their brothers while attack the temple. A fifteen year old body took out five of them alone before they killed him.

2)Anakin's fall should have simply been written better. He is on his knees weeping about what he's done, and all the Emperor has to say is, "You're fulfilling your destiny." Oh, is that it? Okay. I'm off the murder all my friends and little children now because it's my destiny. How do I know? Because the very enemy I've been helping to track down all this time told me so, and I believe him over all of you. To fix this, we would need to rewrite several things from all three movies, and there's simply not enough time. A quick summary: Make the Jedi seem like they are becoming corrupted as their decisions go more along with political power. Currently being done in Fate of the Jedi.

3)Dear God, Padme. You fail as a mother. You would rather die and weep in self pity than raise your kids, who should be the sole focus of your life now. Let's not forget that Leia mentions that she remembers you! Way to fix this: have Padme live on Alderaan, but the shock of what Anakin has done--and is still doing--is SLOWLY killing her over the years, like cancer. Plot hole from the first trilogy filled and Padme is no longer second worst parent in the Star Wars universe.

4)Go back and watch Return of the Jedi's space battles. Then compare that that to Revenge of the Sith. In Jedi, you get shots of random pilots talking, random ships exploding, and random battles. In Sith, it's Obi and Anakin talking in their cockpits while so many lights flash outside that you can't tell what's going on.

5)Every time I see this scene, I keep checking the Wookies to see if Yoda, Chewie and Tarffle are hiding under the corpses. They are not as far as I can tell. So that raise the question: Why is this scene here? To fix it, add what I just said into the scene.

6)You know when Mace goes with three other Jedi to arrest the Emperor? Did you see how quickly those other three went down? One literally stood there and let the Emperor stab him. Pathetic. At Least Fisto blocked ONCE before he went down. So much for the great swordsmen Jedi. To fix this, Palpatine need to split them up, fight them one at a time, and perhaps call in some guards for a distraction. Kind of like how Darth Maul Force shoved Obi away so he could fight Qui. Shove away Fisto, finish off Tin before Fisto can recover. Stuff like that.

Major bonus points if anyone actually bothered to read this whole thing. Sorry it's so long, but this movie makes me angry because I love Star Wars.

All excellent points, now if you'll allow me to offer my own suggestions (the credit for these go to Red Letter Media and Iron Liz).

It's pretty clear that Lucas wanted to make the prequel trilogy more like war movies, and that's fine. I can totally get behind that idea, I mean the word War is in the freaking title. But you know what makes a good war movie, you know, good? GIVING HALF A SHIT ABOUT THE PEOPLE FIGHTING! Unless you're playing Total War two armies made up of nothing but faceless, nameless grunts is not engaging. You know what WOULD be engaging, if instead of bringing the clones in right away, maybe have the bulk of the Republic's army be made up of planetary militia, or regular citizens forced into service in order to fight off the hoards of mindless robots.

Alternatively if putting the clones off for a while would break your heart, make the people the clones fight be militia forces. How about this, the Separatists appear to be behind a series attacks against republic targets and they look like they're amassing a huge army, so Palpatine starts a propaganda campaign calling for support for the creation of the clone army. BUT when they cut to the 'battles' the clones are fighting it's actually just a bunch of farmers and people like that and the droid army is just a distraction for the Jedi to keep them off Palpatine's case.

Any thoughts?

 

[DannyJBeckett]

How to Make Ghost Rider better

*Disclaimer*
I didn't HATE Ghost Rider, I actually thought some of it was half-decent, it's just what was done badly was done REALLY badly.

1) Get rid of Nicholas Cage. One of the main reasons that Nick Cage was cast as Johnny Blaze/Ghost Rider was because he was a huge GR fan as a kid, even to the point where he had him tattooed on his arm (requiring CG work to remove it from the film, ironically). If that was the criteria for the lead role, then I could have been Johnny Blaze, frankly. I don't like Nick Cage as an actor; he was good in the 90s, but it's not the 90s any more. I would have cast someone younger, preferably with experience of Stunt-cycles (I don't know how that would be beneficial, but it'd prove I'm trying).

2) I would have gone more by the original series of GR comics, before he started using the chain and learned the Penance Stare. I know they included them because they're his signature weapons now, but in the 70s when Ghost Rider started, all he could do was project hellfire and create a motorcycle out of said hellfire. I know that would have made for a much less-interesting series of fights, but I prefer authenticity over style. Other than that, I was largely happy with the way the film represented GR.

3) Exclude Blackheart from the plot. I really didn't like Blackheart in this film, largely because of Wes Bentley's portrayal as him. I felt it was too campy. Speaking of which...

4) Make the plot much darker. You need to bear in mind that Ghost Rider is one of Marvel's darkest comics. He's a guy who REALLY doesn't want to be a hero, and every time he turns into Ghost Rider his flesh literally melts off. This is meant to be an excruciating process for him every time, but in the film it happens once, then he learns to do it instantly at will. In the comics it took Johnny Blaze months to get used to the pain of turning into Ghost Rider. Also in the comics, Johnny Blaze summoned the devil by his own will and knowingly sold his soul to him in exchange for his stepfather's life. He still gets conned, but he knew mostly what he was dealing with. In the film he goes through the whole deal thinking 'what the fuck is this?'. Also, in the comics it was never the Devil's intention to make Johnny the Ghost Rider. In the comics, he came to collect Johnny's soul, but Roxanne warded him away with a Bible, so he bound Johnny's soul to the Rider as a last resort, thinking he'll be able to get him later.

5) Get rid of the Caretaker. Again, this was part of the film I was okay with, but johnny Blaze never met the caretaker while he was Ghost Rider (at least not the FIRST time he was Ghost Rider). Caretaker never appeared until the second Rider, Danny Ketch. I thought Sam Elliot did well as the Caretaker, but it's just another continuity thing to me. Also, Caretaker was NEVER a Ghost Rider himself. He was someone appointed by God to keep GR under tabs.

6) As I mentioned earlier, it was Johnny's STEPfather who got sick, not his father. In the comics, Johnny was abandoned by his mother and got adopted by Crash Simpson, a travelling stunt-biker-carny. Roxanne was Crash's daughter and Johnny's adoptive sister, and they'd loved each other from the start, as opposed to Roxanne being Johnny's teenage fling in the film.

7) I'd have made the Devil the main antagonist in the film, and left any other villains 'til the second film. I'd have dedicated the film mostly to Johnny learning what Ghost rider is and using it to fend off the Devil from taking his soul, and also with his inner fight with the Ghost Rider, stopping him going out of control. Because, at the end of the day, Ghost Rider was a demon. A demon of vengeance, but a demon nontheless.

Aaaand I think that's about it. +1 internets for you if you managed to read all this.

 

[Terminate421]

The transformers movies.

Less time spent faffing about watching Shia Labouf (I can't be bothered to look up how to spell that) trying to get laid.
More time spent watching giant robots fight. Oh and in those fights, less close up shaky cam, it turns the whole thing into a blurry mess.
Also, cut the twins completely from the second film. What a complete waste of your giant multi robot monstrosity it was to have the twins be the ones to 'comically' take it on.

And, if I put my mind to it I'm sure I'd find plenty of other things that I'd change, the second film is one of the worst films I've ever seen (not counting all the films that are so bad they become entertaining).

The Twins are thankfully sucked into a black hole in the third film.

Making it better. Also Bonus Points for making Laser Beak my new favorite decepticon.

MY OPINION ON BAD MOVIES HERE:

Devil could have been better by the ending in which the last guy standing remembers he's a goddamn marine and attacks the devil. (I don't care how far away he was from military or how many years it was, he was a marine)

Kung Fu Panda, while not BAD. It wasn't the best Dreamworks movie. It could have been better by simply making some sense in areas. It does look like a master piece compared to some of their, other works....

Monsters Vs. Aliens - Heres one of the worst from them. It could have been better by: Not having B.O.B. as a comedic relief. Making much better monsters. Making some sense with its parody jokes (Megamind was great at this, MvA missed the point of being a parody by just being completely random)

 

[emeraldrafael]

Well the A:TLA movie could have followed the TV show a bit more faithfully. and cast more non white actors/actresses. And Broken up (cause you miss a lot of the humour and personality when you cut out the stuff that was the side things and didnt really matter to the plot in the end).

 

[Zack1501]

skyline was terrible. It started fine, it was a good mix of serious and funny and it was very interesting. right when the left the building it got stupid. they just added more and more crazy powerful aliens. it felt random and they didn't even try to explain anything. by the end of the movie i was just board and confused.

what i would change is the fact that the second half of the movie was too based on action and had almost no real story anymore. i won't ruin the end but lets just say the movie would have been better if they had just ended it before that.

 

[The Virgo]

*snip*

I promise you I'm going to read the whole thing, but I'm a little stretched for time right now. From what I read, though, you make really great points!

*snip*

Again, like I said to Sniper Team 4, I'm going to get to this, but the little bit I perused over makes sense. A more gruffer, tougher looking guy should have been Ghost Rider.

But at least Ghost Rider did get one thing right: The end credits music!


That is a bad-ass rendition of "Ghost Riders in the Sky"!

 

[DannyJBeckett]

*snip*

Again, like I said to Sniper Team 4, I'm going to get to this, but the little bit I perused over makes sense. A more gruffer, tougher looking guy should have been Ghost Rider.

But at least Ghost Rider did get one thing right: The end credits music!


That is a bad-ass rendition of "Ghost Riders in the Sky"!

I wholeheartedly agree. Other than Peter Fonda as the devil, and that bit where he rides down the side of a building, this song is the best thing about this film. Call me obsessive, but I listen to this song almost every day.

 

[Comando96]

Transformers 1

Michael Bay walks on screen and in a Quentin Tarantino [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wr0tAKsdBMk] style it gets shot in the head after Samuel Jackson shouts ************ for 5 mins.

This firstly... would be cool.
Secondly there wouldn't be any more films (because I'd actually have him shot).

 

[chaosyoshimage]

The Transformers movies, The Last Airbender, the Star Wars prequels, and even Dinner With Schmucks have all been mentioned, I guess that means I get Dragonball: Evolution.

Well, for starters they could have made a Dragon Ball movie as opposed to taking Spider-Man and replacing those characters with ones like "Geeko" or whatever. Oh, having an actual plot that made sense would have been nice.

 

[Jedoro]

Twilight Saga

If Blade, Buffy, or Angel shows up at the end and just starts killing

 

[ScumbagEddie]

Alien vs. Predator - I would have not ruined it by probably sticking like glue to the original graphic novel. Machiko Noguchi was a badass character who handled her shit pretty well when it hit the fan. I also would have not based it on earth. Or based it 5 months after its release. Also, Queen Alien having its head popped off with an airlock is way fucking cooler than dumping it in the ocean. ***** probably survived, way to drop the ball.

 

[Squilookle]

U-571: Make the allies British and it becomes a perfect movie.

Wall-E: He never leaves the planet. There is no dialogue whatsoever. Even if the running time is only 30 minutes it's still an improvement.

No Country for Old Men: The movie sticks to being an excellent suspense thriller, instead of just throwing all that out for some left-field nonsense philosophy at the end.

And the big one is...

UP: Carl Fredricksen, Charles Muntz's biggest fan, reveals to Muntz near the climax what his obsession with finding the bird has cost him. Muntz realises he's thrown his life away pursuing this one bird... all because society rejected him. He tells Carl he never wanted to hurt the bird, just SHOW the world it exists so he can be vindicated. Carl tells him that you shouldn't worry so much about what other people think, and that he has to just let it go- the lesson Carl himself has only just learned. At this point Russel reveals that he has a video camera in his backpack or something, and the three of them use chocolate to bring the bird out. Russel films the scene of Muntz and the bird coming face to face properly for the first time and putting their animosity behind them at last. The bird goes back to it's habitat, and Muntz takes the Spirit of Adventure with Russel and Carl onboard back to civilisation. There Carl and Russel get their good ending, but Muntz also gets vindication at last.

Sure beats the hell out of the poor guy getting the fate he got in the movie as it is.

 

[Brendan Jones]

The Avengers: As in Ralph Fiennes and Uma Thurman as Steed and Mrs Peel. For a start- an all new cast. Have it with a 1960s aesthetic, even if the tech is updated (a la FX's Archer). Steed (Geoffrey Rush) and Mrs Peel (Cate Blanchett) investigate cases of the super rich all dying by something to do with their wealth (the jewel lover killed by diamond dust in his drink etc). Barely a pittance of their riches were stolen after the murders, but a fair few pittances add up to quite a bit of money.

As for the remainder of the cast, only one member would truly have been needed: Patrick Macnee as Mother. Someone like Sir Ian McKellan or Patrick Stewart as the villain, a bevy of eccentrics as the victims, and a threat to destabilise the world economy... and you've got something a darn sight better than a weather control apocalypse and an ill-definied clone of Mrs Peel!