How tactless is this?

[SeriousSquirrel]

Right, so there's this girl I like. Had a class with her last year but I never got her number. I dont have any classes with her this year, but im good friends with one of her friends so I was thinking I'd work through her. The problem is, her friend had a huge crush on me before. She's moved on, but I feel bad about just using her(my friend). I dont have the patience to be super subtle about it but im nit sure about just saying ? hey, is your friend single? if so could you hook us up?? Namely because ive been in a similar situation.

(sorry about any poor punctuation. Using my new phone, still adjusting. Also for the mods, I posted this in advice but didn't get a response)

 

[Riicek]

I have this really great idea for you, that is guaranteed and proven to work better than "going through her friend" or any other such silliness.

Walk up to her. Start discussions. And if then ask her out on a date. I'm super serious. It actually works. If it doesn't work, she just wasn't into you.

I mean, I understand your school may be large and you may be unsure about actually seeing her, but, hey, I'm sure you'll see her eventually, right? If not, just ask her friend for her number or something, but really now, don't play the "can you go talk to that girl for me?" game.

Best advice I could give. Good luck.

-Seth

EDIT : I would not have posted in this thread if I'd seen the carbon copy thread with two replies already in it. But everything I said still applies.

 

[Soviet Heavy]

It depends on how much you trust your friend. If you want her help, you need to make sure she is comfortable with it first. Or you could just talk to her too.

I hate being the intermediary between people, mainly because I have the same bloody problem.

Still, if all else fails, do like I did; get drunk and wander up to the pretty blonde outside.

 

[DeadlyYellow]

I have this really great idea for you, that is guaranteed and proven to work better than "going through her friend" or any other such silliness.

Walk up to her. Start discussions. And if then ask her out on a date. I'm super serious. It actually works. If it doesn't work, she just wasn't into you.

I agree with this person. It's time to wear the big boy pants now and stop pussyfooting around because you're afraid of rejection.

 

[instantbenz]

Don't do the middle-woman thing. Be direct. It shows initiative and class. Going behind people's backs is the womanly thing to do. Man up, you'll be noticed.

 

[FunkEngine12]

Speaking as the resident "nice guy" in my circle of friends, being the go-betweener sucks. Don't do that to your lady friend. If you have to, ask your friend for the chick's number, but do the rest yourself. Whether it's carrying good news or bad news, being a messenger pigeon in the game of love is no fun.

 

[Soviet Heavy]

Speaking as the resident "nice guy" in my circle of friends, being the go-betweener sucks. Don't do that to your lady friend. If you have to, ask your friend for the chick's number, but do the rest yourself. Whether it's carrying good news or bad news, being a messenger pigeon in the game of love is no fun.

I'll drink to that. It's a shitty life being the messenger.

 

[Trivea]

Speaking as a girl, more than likely... if you go this route, she'll reject you on principle because you went through a friend of hers that liked you to do it. I mean, unless she's relatively atypical... girls tend to have pretty strict dating rules between friends, and if she KNOWS that you know her friend likes you... yeah.

If you've known her for long enough, I promise, talking to us does work. Protip for all you guys out there: one of the best things you can do is talk normally like you're just being friendly (not the obvious "so you come here often" shtick), but throw in a couple of shy, uncertain smiles like you're asking "Am I doing all right?" without words. It's freaking adorable and we love it. The confidence of the words mingled with the uncertainty of the smiles is just so... so... oh my god.

Yeah, that doesn't work on all girls, but the girls that it DOESN'T work on are the ones who melt over meatheads, so yeah.

Also: as far as...

? hey, is your friend single? if so could you hook us up??

...that's probably the easiest way to make Friend-Girl -cry-. Don't. Do. That. Being in the middle DOES suck, no matter who it is, and knowing how she feels about you and doing it anyway is a major dick move. Seriously, just talk to her. If it doesn't go anywhere, it doesn't go anywhere and you don't have to drag Friend-Girl into it.

 

[SeriousSquirrel]

Thanks for all of the responses. I've decided to nut up and just go for it, a decision I likely should have made some time ago. So wish me luck and thanks again for talking a little common sense into me.