How to deal with someone's "bad time of the month"?

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

So, it's that time of month for my GF. Surprisingly I haven't had to deal with this yet (we've been going out for a while).

As a result, she's been a bit testy the last few days.

Umm...not to sound like a total noob, but...what is the best way to help her through it? I mean, I'm doing my best not to get on her nerves, but (being a guy) I can't exactly relate to this. What's the best thing for me to do?

 

[LittleRedCircles]

I mean this with all the love in the world. Step one is STFU. Back off, give her space, don't criticize, and don't touch her unless she wants you to. You probably won't be able to tell if she wants you to, though.

Accept that, during this time of the month, you are probably going to be considered wrong and very insensitive no matter what you do. Stay calm, don't point out how she's behaving - she knows, trust me. In a few days it'll all be over and if you can keep this up every time, she'll appreciate you for it in the long run.

A few other pointers: sit close to the bathroom when you eat out, and if you see a movie together, make sure she's sitting at the end of the aisle. This might also be a good time to surprise her with something, but not too obvious. Something like, "Hey, the vending machine gave me an extra Snickers, you want it?" could do worlds of good under these circumstances.

You know that phrase, "Don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die"? Just imagine BEING the thing that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. It truly does suck.

 

[Lionsfan]

Just stay calm and outta the way. There's not much you can do during this time, just be extra nice to here and don't expect much out of her. She's gonna be short-tempered and you'll probably get blamed for it most of the time. But don't worry, eventually it'll become normal for you as you get practice/experience with her

 

[Psymon138]

Basically what the other posters have said. Be nice, be sensitive, you'll be treading on eggshells for a while but it will blow over. That's not to say avoid all physical contact, quite a few girls actually like a cuddle, so long as you don't squeeze, a little contact and emotional support goes a long way.

 

[kaioshade]

Stay the hell away from her.

My GF gets almost unbearable during those times. Funny thing is she even admits it herself. And i happily oblige giving her the distance. When she is no longer ready to massacre kittens, she will come back to you.

 

[Aedes]

It's... hard to say, really. I's different to every woman.
When I was in a relationship, my girlfriend had many stomach pains and random itches and just my presence was enough to keep her distracted to this minor discomforts.

One thing remains essential though, be sensitive. She'll probably be in some kind of pain or something so she might be a little cranky. Take everything she says with a bit of salt and have some extra patience. To remain calm is a must although it can be tough from time to time.


It's nothing a good boyfriend can't handle though. You should learn quickly what she needs during this times.

 

[Vern5]

Here's a very important tip: before you say anything to her while she's in this state, make sure you pause and review whatever it is you're going to say before you say it.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

I would like to thank everyone for commenting and offering such sound advice. This is exactly what I needed to hear. *takes notes*

Thanks a lot guys.

You know that phrase, "Don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die"? Just imagine BEING the thing that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. It truly does suck.

That.....sounds really crappy. I should probably keep that in mind too.

 

[thecatsme0w]

I would like to thank everyone for commenting and offering such sound advice. This is exactly what I needed to hear. *takes notes*

Thanks a lot guys.

You know that phrase, "Don't trust anything that bleeds for five days and doesn't die"? Just imagine BEING the thing that bleeds for five days and doesn't die. It truly does suck.

That.....sounds really crappy. I should probably keep that in mind too.

It IS really crappy. Things my fiance does that really helps are surprising me with a favourite snack, making me a cup of hot chocolate, rubbing my back, and keeping the magic bags coming (for those not in the know, a magic bag is a wonderful pouch of rice/wheat/barley that you microwave and put on sore, cramping muscles. It feels amazing.). There are reasons I proposed to him You'll know what her go-to comfort food is - and if you don't, ask her. Guaranteed she'll be happy to say "I like queso and chips" "I like cookies/icecream/root beer floats/[insert comfort food here]" especially if you then surprise her with that when she's feeling crummy

 

[Scabadus]

I find myself hoping that most of the people in this thread are males with no experiance of dating... look it sucks to be a girl during her time of the month, but she's still a rational human being and can still decide not to blow up at you. I'm not saying don't be nice to her, but there's a world of difference beteeen being a good boyfriend and creeping around like she's an unexploded nuke. Ask yourelf: if she's the type of person who really would use this as an excuse to shout at you, demand you do everything for her and waive all responsibility then do you really want to be going out with her?

 

[similar.squirrel]

Back off, avoid, be quiet, agree. If you must address her, use the proper title: Colonel Bloodsnatch.

 

[Zantos]

It depends what type of girl she is. I've had the "stay the fuck away for 5 days or get punched" type, the "wild mood swings" type and the "not really noticed" type. Just be more receptive to her needs, does she want a cuddle, space, junk food, to be told she's beautiful, they can be subtle hints but look out for them like your life depends on it. It takes practice but just being a bit more sensitive, helpful and patient should get you through alive.

 

[Avistew]

Keep in mind if she snaps at you that she doesn't mean it and it's not against you. It's easy to forget about that and go in a whole argument, and I realise it can be a bit hard and frustrating for you, but if you can detach yourself and give her room she'll get better afterwards.
Not everyone lives it the same way, and she shouldn't use it to treat you terribly either, but if she's having a hard time she'll appreciate that you're out of her way yet available if she needs you. Chocolate helps most women too, provided she likes it and isn't allergic or watching her weight (you don't want her upset at you for making her go off her diet if she's on one).

You can ask if she's in pain and want you to get her something, too.

But really the main thing to keep in mind is if she's in a bad mood, it's not about you, and that she'll get better. After a few times you'll get a feel of how she specifically lives it and you'll get better at dealing with it. Some women you wouldn't even know because there is no difference you can tell, some others you couldn't miss it.

 

[Damien Granz]

So, it's that time of month for my GF. Surprisingly I haven't had to deal with this yet (we've been going out for a while).

As a result, she's been a bit testy the last few days.

Umm...not to sound like a total noob, but...what is the best way to help her through it? I mean, I'm doing my best not to get on her nerves, but (being a guy) I can't exactly relate to this. What's the best thing for me to do?

Also keep in mind to have somewhat open communication during the 'good' times makes it easier to have good communication during 'bad' times, too. Don't be squeamish, let her trust you with things like this even if it's not 'manly' or even if it's 'TMI', because sometimes stuff happens and you'll need to be the one to help take care of her or buy things or what not, and if you're 'too macho' or grossed out to hear about it and she has to take care of herself (oh, she might spare your feelings on this matter) when she's feeling bad, it'll just cost you an earful down the line.

If you must address her, use the proper title: Colonel Bloodsnatch.

This has worked for me.

 

[LittleRedCircles]

I find myself hoping that most of the people in this thread are males with no experiance of dating... look it sucks to be a girl during her time of the month, but she's still a rational human being and can still decide not to blow up at you. I'm not saying don't be nice to her, but there's a world of difference beteeen being a good boyfriend and creeping around like she's an unexploded nuke. Ask yourelf: if she's the type of person who really would use this as an excuse to shout at you, demand you do everything for her and waive all responsibility then do you really want to be going out with her?

My response came under the assumption that she IS having a hard time with her period. Some girls really, really do. They are aware of what they're doing and what they're saying and how much their words can hurt, but when I was young and first getting used to it, I said all kinds of things I didn't mean. It can be really easy to just lose control of your filter.

Having said that, I will further point out that she's going to get used to it just like you are. It sounds like you two are pretty young (?) so she hasn't gotten quite the hang of it herself. It took me five or six years before I figured out how to keep my mouth and my pain under control. Now I have to tell my husband when I'm on it - he can't even tell anymore.

Scabadus is right though - walking on eggshells isn't really necessary. You don't even have to change anything about your behavior if you don't want to. But if you're interested in making it easier for her, then doing things like avoiding criticism, being a little more patient, and helping her to be more physically comfortable will really go a long way.

 

[lettucethesallad]

People's girlfriends sound mad as hatters, seriously. Most girls are maybe just a little more irritable, but it's not like they're going to rip your head off. Me, I don't change at all. Just act the way you always act.

When I hang out with my boyfriend when it's my time of the month, we cuddle, watch movies and just hang out. Like any other day. Don't make a big deal out of a period, 'cause it just isn't that big of a thing.

 

[thecatsme0w]

It really depends on the woman. My cramps are bad enough that I throw up sometimes. I don't usually get really angry during the whole 5 days of torture but I do get super weepy and emotional.

 

[aegix drakan_v1legacy]

Thanks again for the advice guys (and women!)

I actually had a date with my girlfriend today, and it went well (at first anyway). I was a bit more sensitive then my already usual sensitive self, and that's about all I did different. And things went great. Unfortunately, she later had to hit up the bathroom and emerged with (I can only assume) massive cramps, and I had to escort her home (which I did).

Yeah...Beginning to get an idea of just how bad it can mess a woman up. She looked like she just ate a hedgehog raw, quills and all.

My response came under the assumption that she IS having a hard time with her period. Some girls really, really do. They are aware of what they're doing and what they're saying and how much their words can hurt, but when I was young and first getting used to it, I said all kinds of things I didn't mean. It can be really easy to just lose control of your filter.

She's not that bad, actually. She's just been far less patient than usual about my bad jokes, and she's seemed really tired for the past few days, and then when I asked her what was wrong she flat out told me what was up, which made me think "oh. Umm...I don't have any idea how to deal with this to make it easier on us both...what Should I do?"

She isn't the angry explosive type, at all.

It sounds like you two are pretty young (?) so she hasn't gotten quite the hang of it herself.

I'm 23 and she's 22. My first relationship ever, and her first serious one.

Scabadus is right though - walking on eggshells isn't really necessary. You don't even have to change anything about your behavior if you don't want to. But if you're interested in making it easier for her, then doing things like avoiding criticism, being a little more patient, and helping her to be more physically comfortable will really go a long way.

That's pretty much what I did. I just cranked my sensitivity up a tiny little bit and things worked out. She really appreciated that I walked her most of the way home (She insisted she could make the last bus ride alone).

So yeah, thanks everyone.

 

[Naal]

I know I'm coming in late, but I'll give my two cents.

If you want a biological remedy, I would try chocolate. It has chemicals in it that fight off the hormones that create PMS. Another food you can try is milk, because it has the same properties as chocolate. Check out this website for more foods you can try. http://www.synergyclinic.net/fighting-pms-with-good-nutrition

 

[Phasmal]

Dont make a big deal of it, it happens every month, I'm sure she can deal with it.