How to help an online acquaintance that no one else wants to be around.

[otakon17]

Basically, I have an acquaintance online that we watch streams on a site together. We're not close friends just online acquaintances. But he's gotten himself into hot water with a certain group of streamers that have all collectively banned him from anything they do(streaming or site-wise) blocking off communication lines completely. Far as I can tell, he hasn't really done anything to warrant their ire(no spam, no hateful arguments, besides just wanting to be involved in their group activities even tangentially). But he always comes to me about it since I'm friends with two of them and acquaintances with the others, and the reason I kept getting from them is "he's annoying".

Really? He's annoying? That's the reason a half a dozen people are ostracizing him. And the worst part is how much he says it makes him feel "worthless and like shit". I've told him to just move on, try other streams and to make friends with other people but it seems to me like he's obsessing at this point. I'm at my wit's end and I don't want to block him like the others and find out later he kills himself or some stupid shit due to depression.

I'm worried about him but fed up with his constant whinging and grousing, I'm not sure what to do.

 

[madwarper]

Really? He's annoying? That's the reason a half a dozen people are ostracizing him.

/shrug.

Seems to me that you're posting this in the wrong place, as it would probably do better to ask that group directly, rather than us.

However, there is the possibility that the people you talked to were displaying a modicum of restraint and speaking of the grievances they had with your "online acquaintance" in the most kindest and palliating circumstances, which would be rare on the internet.

I've told him to just move on, try other streams and to make friends with other people but it seems to me like he's obsessing at this point. I'm at my wit's end and I don't want to block him like the others and find out later he kills himself or some stupid shit due to depression.

I'd say to set some boundaries. Tell them that it's their problem with said group of streamers. You tried to intercede on their behalf, but to no avail. At this point, if you no longer wish to dwell on the topic, tell them as much else they risk losing you as an acquaintance.

 

[Keoul]

Really? He's annoying? That's the reason a half a dozen people are ostracizing him.

I'm at my wit's end and I don't want to block him like the others

Can't really blame them for finding him annoying can you?
You know he's obsessive at this point but what else? find out from the group that blocked him, find another group to play with, then introduce your obsessive friend to the second group after you fix a few of his personality quirks.

This is obviously a lot of work so it's up to you if you think it's worth it or not, honestly I might of blocked him as well.

 

[The Almighty Aardvark]

I can understand how you feel, I've been there before. First off, you don't have an obligation to be someone's friend just so they don't kill themselves. It's kind of obvious, but it's worth saying, particularly since you're never really going to keep yourself from feeling a responsibility for it. You also say he's just an online acquaintance, I don't expect that you've got the leverage to be a tipping point in this situation

I can also understand how he feels. I've seen it happen to myself, and to other people. Often it comes with some sort of mob mentality where a guy who happens to be the ringleader of the group decides they don't like someone, and everyone else just follows suit (Even if they thought he was perfectly alright). I'm not sure if that's what's happening here, but it sucks, and it can irreparably damage friendships when the people who were just going along with the group wisen up. Regardless of whether that's what's happening, it sucks.

That being said, if he's dwelling on it to the point that it's hurting his other friendships, that's his own fault. Have you told him that it's getting too much for you?