How to make a real conspiracy theory

[Trolldor]

Following all this nonsense about Osama's death I thought I'd make up a conspiracy theory on the spot.
It's really easy to make it plausible too, all you have to do is ignore the truth.


Let's begin -
The conspiracy surrounding Obama's birth origins was really an attempt to facilitate trust in Obama's honesty by inducing sympathy. His presentation of his short-form and then his long-form birth certificate were part of a prolonged campaign to build public trust and sympathy.
It was a brilliant move because then, following the release of his long-form birth certificate and establishing that trust, he announces Osama's death. The public is endeared to Obama who has fought hard and strong and triumphed over his adverseries, establishing himself as an American patriot who endured unjustified attacks against his national loyalty, this way the public is not likely to question his announcement of Osama's demise.


So go on guys, make up your own conspiracy theories. Bonus points if you reinterpret images or completely fabricate 'facts' for these images (Like the 'prop C' moon rock).

 

[manythings]

Last week the american government had a 9% approval rating then they pulled Osama Bin Laden out of their asses, killed him and disposed of all the evidence. If I killed him you better believe I'd keep that fucker in a glass case rigged up like an animatronic puppet at the entrance to the whitehouse.

 

[TimeLord]

The cake is a lie.

That was way too easy! Or deceptively hard.......

 

[LongAndShort]

I find the easiest way to start a conspiracy is to take a generally acknowledged historical fact, and introduce a bit of doubt.

For example: Wellington defeated Napoleon at the battle of Waterloo... or did he?

Then when people say "what the fuck are you talking about?" you say something along the lines of "There were some peculiar things circumstances that were never explained" and "perhaps the military defeat was part of some grander plan?"

Then you let people's own imaginations take the helm.

 

[badgersprite]

My favourite one was one I heard on the radio yesterday.

All this time we thought he was in a cave in Afghanistan, Osama bin Laden has actually been playing a whole lot of CoD on the PS3. The CIA realised this, and were determined to catch him, so they were the ones who hacked into PSN - to get all of Osama's details he put on his profile, DeathToAmericaOBL. So that proves it. The CIA caused the PSN hack and used it to kill Osama. You can't argue with timing.

Credit for this goes to the guy who called in on Triple M.

My own conspiracy theory is that the Grassy Knoll abducted Harold Holt.

 

[Jordi]

Obama=Osama

Did you ever see the two of them at the same time at the same place? I didn't think so!

 

[Dirkie]

The escapist does not exist except for you who is reading this. Every other post is generated by a very sophisicated AI that is capable of arguing with itself and discuss reality.

 

[LongAndShort]

My own conspiracy theory is that the Grassy Knoll abducted Harold Holt.

Dear god... they've had submarines off our coasts all this time... and they haven't taken the chance to kidnap Tony Abbot?
Goddamn you Grassy Knoll! He's asking for it!

 

[Hero in a half shell]

Obama=Osama

Did you ever see the two of them at the same time at the same place? I didn't think so!

Your a bit late, I believe that FOX News actually ran a story on that when Obama was running for president.

My crazy conspiracy theory would be that caocao used in Chocolate and coke is actually a mind controlling drug used by the government to control our actions, after all, it comes from cocaine, yet no one seems worried about it being a drug, why? Because they know its a drug, and use it to placate the population, and make them more susceptible to their propaganda. Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he was making Opium, instead of Caocao! It was a war between rival drug lords, not terrorists!

 

[Trolldor]

Obama=Osama

Did you ever see the two of them at the same time at the same place? I didn't think so!

Your a bit late, I believe that FOX News actually ran a story on that when Obama was running for president.

My crazy conspiracy theory would be that caocao used in Chocolate and coke is actually a mind controlling drug used by the government to control our actions, after all, it comes from cocaine, yet no one seems worried about it being a drug, why? Because they know its a drug, and use it to placate the population, and make them more susceptible to their propaganda. Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he was making Opium, instead of Caocao! It was a war between rival drug lords, not terrorists!

One flaw - I doubt cocaine is going to placate the population. Otherwise, good idea.

 

[Vampire cat]

A "real" conspiracy theory? OO

You know the cheese? It's not all cheese anymore! Some of it is some kind of placebo corn-starch stuff! It's a plot by the corn-starch industry to take over the world man! I'm telling you, soon all the cheese you buy won't be cheese. Then the eggs wont be from chicken butts. Suddenly we have some kind of twisted health-drink instead of our beloved Coke, and one day we wake up the Pizzas are made of card board. Be ware people! It's all an evil scheme concocted by the Freemasons to make themselves even richer and more powerful!

Obama=Osama

Did you ever see the two of them at the same time at the same place? I didn't think so!

Mind blown

 

[funguy2121]

I find the easiest way to start a conspiracy is to take a generally acknowledged historical fact, and introduce a bit of doubt.

For example: Wellington defeated Napoleon at the battle of Waterloo... or did he?

Then when people say "what the fuck are you talking about?" you say something along the lines of "There were some peculiar things circumstances that were never explained" and "perhaps the military defeat was part of some grander plan?"

Then you let people's own imaginations take the helm.

 

[Miles000]

My favourite one was one I heard on the radio yesterday.

All this time we thought he was in a cave in Afghanistan, Osama bin Laden has actually been playing a whole lot of CoD on the PS3. The CIA realised this, and were determined to catch him, so they were the ones who hacked into PSN - to get all of Osama's details he put on his profile, DeathToAmericaOBL. So that proves it. The CIA caused the PSN hack and used it to kill Osama. You can't argue with timing.

Credit for this goes to the guy who called in on Triple M.

My own conspiracy theory is that the Grassy Knoll abducted Harold Holt.

Wait. That was on Triple M? How did I miss that?

I've managed to convince people of some pretty wacky things over the years. But when I heard a mate tell me that one, I realized just how gullible people really are.

[sub]Also why did all the captchas get more difficult all of a sudden?[/sub]

 

[jordz0005]

I'll try a Conspiracy about space, seeing as we haven't even a millionth of it, it's easy for people to believe something that isn't there.

P.S it looks a bit like a news report

Conspiracy: Area 51 has officially confirmed that a large AI (Artificial Intelligence) controlled space station, which has been orbiting Mars (The source of Google Earth's Mars pictures) has recently had it's internal mainframe hacked and it is now under the control of Russian hackers, the KGB have released the following statement "We believe this is another victory for Russia, we will be using it as a mass CCTV station" it has been confirmed through the use of IP tracing, that the station is indeed under Russia's control

The station that is now under Russia control.

 

[LongAndShort]

I find the easiest way to start a conspiracy is to take a generally acknowledged historical fact, and introduce a bit of doubt.

For example: Wellington defeated Napoleon at the battle of Waterloo... or did he?

Then when people say "what the fuck are you talking about?" you say something along the lines of "There were some peculiar things circumstances that were never explained" and "perhaps the military defeat was part of some grander plan?"

Then you let people's own imaginations take the helm.

Exactly. You create an idea, and a month later twenty people have written books that have "taken a closer look at the evidence and come to startling new conclusions!" And then you sit back with a schooner of beer and laugh knowingly.

 

[brunothepig]

They're dumbing down the population with fluoride!
Wait...
9/11 was planned by the US Government!
Wait...
The moon landing was faked!
Wait...

 

[binvjoh]

The cake is a lie.

Maybe you're just saying that so you can have it all for yourself!

Oh, the conspiracies!

 

[matt87_50]

The escapist does not exist except for you who is reading this. Every other post is generated by a very sophisicated AI that is capable of arguing with itself and discuss reality.

Well... maybe not that sophisticated...

 

[Korolev]

Here's my crazy, one-minute-of-thinking-went-into-this conspiracy theory: Donald Trump is doing all this birther stuff to get Obama re-elected. Donald Trump has a history of donating to the Democratic party. He endorsed Obama in 08. Why the change of heart? MAYBE THERE ISN'T ANY! Donald Trump is sacrificing himself, purposefully making himself look like a idiot buffoon in order to make the Republicans look like idiots! He's focusing attention on a stupid, silly, already-dealt with issue, and he's making the Republican base look bad while allowing Obama to take the high-ground! TRUMP IS A DEMOCRATIC OPERATIVE!

I know all this because Political Big-foot told me via radio from mars, where he gets all his information. He's also told me that Bin Laden isn't dead, but is living under the sea in Atlantis, WHERE THEY FAKED THE MOON LANDINGS AND PLANNED THE 9/11 ATTACKS WITH BUSH, who is also a reptilian space lizard related to the Queen of England.

 

[Dirkie]

Well... maybe not that sophisticated...

Flaws in the system only enance the appearance of reality.
Altough sometimes the flaws are so bad it rips straight trough to the bare mechanicals and then some human has to step in and tell the machinery to behave or else it won't get cookies.