RoonMian said:
I never got the hate either. But as a Rhinelander I am big on self-deprecating humor, too. Besides, I am able to accept the characters as fiction and don't see them as insults targetted at me or as jokes about me. Seriously, that comparison to minstrel shows is just... I don't even have words for that kind of... Nevermind, I'd only get myself warned.
I've always had the feeling that the hate comes from the mean narcissism and arrogance that you only dare to let out in the safety of your own room that I sometimes seem to see in the so called geek community. Like jokes with the premise of a guy having trouble talking to girls making someone think: "I can't talk to girls, either. This show is about me! And I hate it because I'm not shown as a flawless hero!!! I will go now write snide rants about it on the internet!"
Or as you put it in much fewer words: "Lighten up!"
Perhaps I'm not quite the correct person, as I don't /hate/ it, but I certainly have a strained relationship with it. I try to like it, then it throws a cricket ball at my nuts. And being British, I'm certainly not aversed to self defreciating humour.
I'm sure there /are/ people who hate if for the reason you mention, but I'm pretty sure that's the vast minority; the borderline psychotic "nice guys". Some people hate it because they don't find it funny, which for long stretches of episodes it isn't and it annoys them that it's so popular.
Example: Sheldon saying "My new computer came with Windows 7" *guffaws of laughter* That...isn't funny, that's not even a joke, it's just a statement. That's just like me saying "my trousers are black" and expecting a laugh. Or there's "jokes" that wouldn't be funny to geeks because it's not a joke, and the expectation to laugh is lost on the people it /is/ aimed at, because they don't understand the "joke" in the first place.
And some people hate it, because it was really mean spirited in the earlier seasons, the guys are serious punching bags for most of the first seasons, it wasn't very nice, the idea that the show pretended to revel in geek culture when it was really just firing at it instead.
It's actually one of those shows that bucks the trend and has gotten miles better now that all the characters (except Raj of course, though again, they could've ended that joke a looooong time ago) have girlfriends, not only because the writers can't be quite so mean, but also because it's genuinely gotten funnier and gotten better writing. Amy and Bernadette are proper characters and they're funny, they have their own distinct personalites and get properly fleshed out, they haven't just been thrown in for quotas sake.
Still think Lennard and Penny is the most forced romance ever though.