How to safely dull taste buds?

[DarklordKyo]

I've had what was called a good sense of taste for a while now, I basically love food a little too much. The thing is, my brain keeps on replaying a memory where that was criticized (that I love food too much, and that certain others I know treat food as mere sustainance).

I've been wanting a safe way to destroy my taste buds, and, as I'm too much of a pansy to do so, I'm not willing to either burn them off with a heated spoon, use methods that would number my entire mouth, or cut my tongue out (don't worry, nobody told me to self-mutilate, those are just ideas I thought up, heard from Google searches, and thought up respectably).

Does anyone know any safe ways I can permanently destroy my taste buds?

 

[Neverhoodian]

I STRONGLY urge you reconsider. Deliberately destroying one of your five senses counts as self-mutilation in my book. Instead of resorting to such an extreme option, have you tried talking to someone about the memory you mentioned? I hate sounding like a nosy armchair psychologist, but it sounds like a more deep-seated issue.

The sense of taste is a vital part of our well-being; not only does it help us identify edible objects and what they're composed of, but it can also serve as a warning if we accidentally ingest spoiled food or some other toxin. Just a few weeks ago I grabbed some milk from the fridge, only to recoil in disgust when my taste buds informed me it had gone sour. Still, I'd gladly take a few moments of revulsion over risking food poisoning.

Also, taste buds gradually dull anyway as we age; I see little reason to accelerate that process.

 

[FalloutJack]

That's...no, I can't condone this. Other people will always leave remarks in your head that annoy the hell out of you. That does not mean you have to get a lobotomy because the memory was harsh. That's a terribly unhealthy idea, messing with your tongue in some permanent fashion.

 

[DarklordKyo]

I STRONGLY urge you reconsider. Deliberately destroying one of your five senses counts as self-mutilation in my book. Instead of resorting to such an extreme option, have you tried talking to someone about the memory you mentioned? I hate sounding like a nosy armchair psychologist, but it sounds like a more deep-seated issue.

The sense of taste is a vital part of our well-being; not only does it help us identify edible objects and what they're composed of, but it can also serve as a warning if we accidentally ingest spoiled food or some other toxin. Just a few weeks ago I grabbed some milk from the fridge, only to recoil in disgust when my taste buds informed me it had gone sour. Still, I'd gladly take a few moments of revulsion over risking food poisoning.

Also, taste buds gradually dull anyway as we age; I see little reason to accelerate that process.

Everyone who tried to "help" me just wanted to throw me in the loony bin. Eventually, I just stopped bothering. As for identifying edible stuff, I'll still have my senses of touch, sight, and smell for that (and hearing, in case anyone warns me).

As for the reason I want to accelerate that process, I just want to be normal. I just want to be the type of person who wouldn't care about the difference between McDonalds and Five Guys, among other things.

 

[Saetha]

Throw me in with the "This is a bad idea" camp. Besides, having literally no sense of taste would probably make you LESS normal, not more. If the issue here is that you're one of those super-tasters or... whatever they're called, put it to use! Some of the best cooks and food critics have a heightened sense of taste.

 

[Cap'nPipsqueak]

I've had what was called a good sense of taste for a while now, I basically love food a little too much. The thing is, my brain keeps on replaying a memory where that was criticized (that I love food too much, and that certain others I know treat food as mere sustainance).

I've been wanting a safe way to destroy my taste buds, and, as I'm too much of a pansy to do so, I'm not willing to either burn them off with a heated spoon, use methods that would number my entire mouth, or cut my tongue out (don't worry, nobody told me to self-mutilate, those are just ideas I thought up, heard from Google searches, and thought up respectably).

Does anyone know any safe ways I can permanently destroy my taste buds?

None of your senses exist for shits and giggles - if you have a sense its because it's required.

 

[DarklordKyo]

Throw me in with the "This is a bad idea" camp. Besides, having literally no sense of taste would probably make you LESS normal, not more. If the issue here is that you're one of those super-tasters or... whatever they're called, put it to use! Some of the best cooks and food critics have a heightened sense of taste.

Sure, I'd love to spend thousands of dollars on a worthless degree. Sure, I'd love training in a discipline that will find me no work.

Sorry if I sounded like an asshole, but I have no interest in a culinary career path for those reasons.

 

[DarklordKyo]

That's...no, I can't condone this. Other people will always leave remarks in your head that annoy the hell out of you. That does not mean you have to get a lobotomy because the memory was harsh. That's a terribly unhealthy idea, messing with your tongue in some permanent fashion.

Taste buds dull with age anyways, so why not speed up the process? Besides, I just want to be normal. I don't want to be a spoiled, stuck up little shit who refuses anything less than Wendys if I wanted fast food.

 

[Cap'nPipsqueak]

That's...no, I can't condone this. Other people will always leave remarks in your head that annoy the hell out of you. That does not mean you have to get a lobotomy because the memory was harsh. That's a terribly unhealthy idea, messing with your tongue in some permanent fashion.

Taste buds dull with age anyways, so why not speed up the process? Besides, I just want to be normal. I don't want to be a spoiled, stuck up little shit who refuses anything less than Wendys if I wanted fast food.

Teeth often fall out with old age, Why not grab a set of pliers and get it out of the way?

 

[FalloutJack]

That's...no, I can't condone this. Other people will always leave remarks in your head that annoy the hell out of you. That does not mean you have to get a lobotomy because the memory was harsh. That's a terribly unhealthy idea, messing with your tongue in some permanent fashion.

Taste buds dull with age anyways, so why not speed up the process? Besides, I just want to be normal. I don't want to be a spoiled, stuck up little shit who refuses anything less than Wendys if I wanted fast food.

Dude, I won't even touch Wendy's. I'm not a bad guy because of it.

 

[DarklordKyo]

Teeth often fall out with old age, Why not grab a set of pliers and get it out of the way?

People actually need teeth to eat. Taste isn't necessary in a society that requires that served food is safe to eat.

 

[DarklordKyo]

Dude, I won't even touch Wendy's. I'm not a bad guy because of it.

Sorry I was so crass, but you get my meaning right?

 

[FalloutJack]

Dude, I won't even touch Wendy's. I'm not a bad guy because of it.

Sorry I was so crass, but you get my meaning right?

I get that you're under a strain because you know people who are giving you a hard time over this. Please do not damage your organs over it. I don't wanna find a topic here later stating that somebody operated on their own tongue and had to go to the hospital. I'd know exactly who it was and feel bad because of it.

 

[DarklordKyo]

I get that you're under a strain because you know people who are giving you a hard time over this. Please do not damage your organs over it. I don't wanna find a topic here later stating that somebody operated on their own tongue and had to go to the hospital. I'd know exactly who it was and feel bad because of it.

Avoiding that is why I created this thread in the first place. I'm too much of a pansy to burn them off, so I'm looking for a safe method that's not wait decades upon decades.

 

[FalloutJack]

I get that you're under a strain because you know people who are giving you a hard time over this. Please do not damage your organs over it. I don't wanna find a topic here later stating that somebody operated on their own tongue and had to go to the hospital. I'd know exactly who it was and feel bad because of it.

Avoiding that is why I created this thread in the first place. I'm too much of a pansy to burn them off, so I'm looking for a safe method that's not wait decades upon decades.

Well, I can't help you with what is something you wouldn't want to even attempt without a doctor, something which I cannot approve of and feel is unnecessary. On that, I've said what I have to say. I will not badger you further, but I don't like it at all.

 

[DarklordKyo]

Well, I can't help you with what is something you wouldn't want to even attempt without a doctor, something which I cannot approve of and feel is unnecessary. On that, I've said what I have to say. I will not badger you further, but I don't like it at all.

Well, either way, thanks for your time.

 

[Just Ebola]

I've been wanting a safe way to destroy my taste buds, and, as I'm too much of a pansy to do so, I'm not willing to either burn them off with a heated spoon, use methods that would number my entire mouth, or cut my tongue out (don't worry, nobody told me to self-mutilate, those are just ideas I thought up, heard from Google searches, and thought up respectably).

I'm afraid you're out of luck. There's no non-destructive way to destroy one of your senses. The easiest way I can think of is to burn your tongue bad enough to kill the nerve endings inside. Or at the very least, bad enough to where a layer of scar-tissue form over your taste buds. That'd give you the desired effect without rendering you speechless, though you should be wary of infection. Unless you know a brain surgeon who's willing to crack your skull open pro-bono, you're going to have to do something invasive.

That being said, if it's such a source of pleasure for you, I don't see why you wouldn't leave your taste buds intact and just not remark on what things taste like. I mean that seems like less trouble, and you wouldn't be removing an avenue of happiness and satisfaction in your life. Not to mention the reasoning seems kind of weak. Somebody said they didn't like my shoes once, I didn't cut off my feet.

I don't think you should resort to bodily mutilation just to avoid future ridicule(?) but if you do, I'd appreciate if you provided pictures, this has the potential to be fascinating. Personally I would never sacrifice my sense of taste. I don't think I could carry on without the taste of an occasional dollop sweet cream in my coffee, or fried pork dumplings. But to each their own.

Even though I don't approve, to honor the spirit of the thread, I'll add my suggestions.

-You could inject yourself with Novocain before each meal. But I don't know how you would get your hands on any, and even then it would just be temporary, and probably affect your speech.

-You could take up smoking, it would dull your sense of taste but there are long-term side effects to your health.

-And we're back to burning. My only advice would be to sprinkle sugar on your tongue to help dull the sting. Plus it'll be one last taste on sweetness before your tongue turns into a bubbling mess.

Again, I hope you don't go through with it. But if you do, good luck.

 

[Satinavian]

That's...no, I can't condone this. Other people will always leave remarks in your head that annoy the hell out of you. That does not mean you have to get a lobotomy because the memory was harsh. That's a terribly unhealthy idea, messing with your tongue in some permanent fashion.

Taste buds dull with age anyways, so why not speed up the process? Besides, I just want to be normal. I don't want to be a spoiled, stuck up little shit who refuses anything less than Wendys if I wanted fast food.

Yes. And do you know, how your memory compensates for it ? By replacing the the taste bud information with memories about how things should taste. So that doesn't help you at all. It will actually make things worse as you will be stuck with your eating preferences.
Taste buds are important to chance those preferences.

 

[DarklordKyo]

snip

The Novocain wouldn't really be an option, because it'd be too tedious if you put snacks into account. On top of that, I have no interest in smoking, and my dad's smoking habits didn't mess his taste buds enough. Finally, I'd rather not risk a hospital visit turning my tongue into Creme brulee.

Also, how would it be fascinating?

 

[DarklordKyo]

Yes. And do you know, how your memory compensates for it ? By replacing the the taste bud information with memories about how things should taste. So that doesn't help you at all. It will actually make things worse as you will be stuck with your eating preferences.
Taste buds are important to chance those preferences.

So I'm screwed huh?, so there'd be no chance of me being normal?


...crap...