How to stop being so jaded?

[Indifferent]

A little background of me first. I started off as a "normal person", through my teens, I had friends, was in bands (plays bass), went out on a regular basis. You know, "normal" things. As I grew older (currently 26), I began to slowly withdraw from the world. I don't drink often as I do not like losing the mental/physical control alcohol gives, and though I admit to having a nice smoke once in a while, it is not regular, and generally used as a relaxer. The following will probably be viewed as prattling by most, but here's to finding someone who can understand how I feel.

I began to dislike groups of people, as I considered most of them sheep and stupid. It was not always that way. I was always willing to give someone the benefit of the doubt until they either proved an idiot (which never took long) or hurt me in some way. I now see most people as idiots not worth speaking to until they prove themselves otherwise. I began to turn inwards with an alarming rate, tired of the stupidity I encountered every time I met someone new. It seems to me that most people these days are shameless, spineless, arrogant whores who are too stupid to see how they are being milked, or too lazy to do anything about it. People who will not, or cannot think for themselves. Maybe I look for faults too much. Maybe I expect them too much. I know I have my own, plenty. But I cannot shake this feeling that I do not belong among the apes that seem to infest the world. Perhaps I grow tired of the seemly unending hatred that is scattered all around. This is going to sound like paranoia, but when I look around all I can see are corporations wanting to use me for my money. False smiles from people wanting to use me for their own gains. Whatever happened to the good people? The ones who do good deeds for the sake of being good - ie. not expecting a reward? Where did all the free thinkers go? Where are all the people who still have values such as honor, pride in self-worth, and loyalty go? And not just have the values, but MEAN them as well?

A bit of short story - I live in New York, and recently it's been all snowy and ice. It's winter time, so duh. I was at a gas station filling my tank and as I came outside, there was a little old woman standing in front of the steps, taking tentative steps, trying to get up them. I stopped and offered my help to get her inside, and she looked at me as if I meant to give her a beating, rape her and steal her wallet. This is not the first time I've encountered this behavior. I've had several times where offering my assistance got me bad looks, or even cussed out, far more often than not.

I'm not sure why I'm turning to an internet forum full of faceless, nameless strangers to ask questions to, nor am I sure of what I wish to accomplish by doing so, but yet here I am. Thanks for at least reading my mindless rambles.

 

[Anarchemitis]

Have you considered introspection? Are there things on the inside of your mind which might be forcing your consciousness to observe a paradigm which is much to your personality's chagrin?
There might be Regrets, Complaints or Frustrations that might have been buried by the desire to appear stoic or unweak in the attempt to "be manly". A real man doesn't find an enemy to conquer or a woman to subside himself in, he finds himself a mind which he enjoys and maintains.

 

[Indifferent]

I have spent a good, long time examining my thoughts and emotions. More often than not though, I only find more questions.

 

[IrradiatedFish]

I think I can relate to a degree.

Although not as severe as you describe it, I have gone through a handful of periods in my life feeling similarly. I try to focus on the things that breed positive thinking. Putting all my attention into ideas and experiences that have made me happy in the past can sometimes bring about a change of my mood, even if it is only temporary. Alas I have other problems now, but I just though I'd tell you that you're not alone

Also, welcome to the Escapist. Hopefully you find some inspiration to help you with your predicament. Best wishes!

 

[Imp Poster]

haha, sorry, but you sound like Morpheus telling Neo about the Matrix in the first one. What things are and what they should be. Unfortunately, it is not like what they should be. You can say the same thing about common sense as well.

The only thing I can tell about this is, you have to take the bad traits with the good traits of people. And treat them accordingly to their traits. If you like to have things just for the sake of everyone has one, well, don't expect me to value your opinion on what should I get questions because I don't want what everyone has. I want something that is functional to me. If you don't have integrity, don't expect me to trust/depend on you for anything and so on. I will even tell my friends this to their faces because of the hurt or disappointment that they given me. But I won't stop being friends with them because of their bad side. Everyone has one. Hopefully, the good side out weighs the bad side though.

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

My opinion on this is...dangerously similar. Lately, perticularily the last year or so, I have just felt so cynical. I know I wasn't always like this, but it just seems like after all these years (I'm only 16, so not that much actually) I have seen my hope crushed repeatedly. It's like I am the only person in the entire world who can see clearly, like I am the only sane person left.

But what does that even mean? I mean, if everyone is insane except me, what am I? Am I not insane? Sanity is just the same sickness as your neighbour. In a world where nobody can see, blindness is the norm. How can I know that I am not in the wrong. If everyone is the problem, maybe it's me who needs to change.

Argh, what I would not give to be blind and death like the rest of the "sheep" as you called them. Life would be so much...simpler.

 

[Freechoice]

I'm not sure why I'm turning to an internet forum full of faceless, nameless strangers to ask questions to, nor am I sure of what I wish to accomplish by doing so, but yet here I am. Thanks for at least reading my mindless rambles.

Because we are all faceless, it is difficult to render any form of impacting judgment and the fear of that is largely eliminated.

As for being cynical, the solution is obvious: be hopeful. Just don't be hopeful of other people. Placing confidence in human beings is right up there with believing in god. Less so, perhaps, because your idea of god will never disappoint you. It's just a matter of finding the people on the right side of Sturgeon's Law. Failing that, you can always rely on yourself.

And so long as you aren't an otherkin (especially a navi'kin. Goddamn you James Cameron!) you'll be fine.

 

[Zaik]

The idea of being "jaded" typically comes from the idea that everyone is doing some kind of wrong except for you. It's like the guy who posts a reply to someone about working on their "grammer". Most of us(me too) have been there once, and once you get over it you'll realize how dumb it was. Anyway, it's not entirely wrong. Everyone does screw up. You aren't the exception though. Take a good hard look at yourself every chance you get and find out what you do wrong.

 

[The Rockerfly]

My opinion on this is...dangerously similar. Lately, perticularily the last year or so, I have just felt so cynical. I know I wasn't always like this, but it just seems like after all these years (I'm only 16, so not that much actually) I have seen my hope crushed repeatedly. It's like I am the only person in the entire world who can see clearly, like I am the only sane person left.

But what does that even mean? I mean, if everyone is insane except me, what am I? Am I not insane? Sanity is just the same sickness as your neighbour. In a world where nobody can see, blindness is the norm. How can I know that I am not in the wrong. If everyone is the problem, maybe it's me who needs to change.

Argh, what I would not give to be blind and death like the rest of the "sheep" as you called them. Life would be so much...simpler.

The thing is most people do think like you, however everyone wants to keep up this image of being crazy, drunk most of the time and overall like they are happy with their lives. Usually it spawns from people who are generally unhappy with themselves, the people around them and their past. From that they drag other people in to feel as shit as they do

They are trying to fool themselves into thinking their decisions are necessary for their existence. They might convince themselves it's "life experience" but the me this, before 2000 did the mass want to drink constantly, go out clubbing all the time and listen to only shit music? No
When they are older and they actually cannot do it any more they will regret the stupid shit that they have done, the people they have hurt and the damage they have done to themselves and the ones around them. The time, money and effort they could have spent on experiences they will actually remember, girls they actually give a shit about and do things they actually want to do

What they want to do is vent anger, frustration, pain and sadness while still looking like a cool person and let me tell you, I know because most of my friends at uni are like this and it's complete bullshit. When you talk to these people 1 on 1 they could be lovely and have a few problems but give them a beer, a club and a few other people like that then you have a bloke in hospital after trying to get with some girl and her boyfriend come kicks his arse. Then says it was a great experienced

Overall, trust me you aren't the only person who feels insane to an insane world, I feel like it and most people feel like that. I does sicken me sometimes

 

[Naheal]

You don't. You accept it as part of who you are and move on with your life. Life makes jaded people and life will remove that aspect.

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

My opinion on this is...dangerously similar. Lately, perticularily the last year or so, I have just felt so cynical. I know I wasn't always like this, but it just seems like after all these years (I'm only 16, so not that much actually) I have seen my hope crushed repeatedly. It's like I am the only person in the entire world who can see clearly, like I am the only sane person left.

But what does that even mean? I mean, if everyone is insane except me, what am I? Am I not insane? Sanity is just the same sickness as your neighbour. In a world where nobody can see, blindness is the norm. How can I know that I am not in the wrong. If everyone is the problem, maybe it's me who needs to change.

Argh, what I would not give to be blind and death like the rest of the "sheep" as you called them. Life would be so much...simpler.

The thing is most people do think like you, however everyone wants to keep up this image of being crazy, drunk most of the time and overall like they are happy with their lives. Usually it spawns from people who are generally unhappy with themselves, the people around them and their past. From that they drag other people in to feel as shit as they do

They are trying to fool themselves into thinking their decisions are necessary for their existence. They might convince themselves it's "life experience" but the me this, before 2000 did the mass want to drink constantly, go out clubbing all the time and listen to only shit music? No
When they are older and they actually cannot do it any more they will regret the stupid shit that they have done, the people they have hurt and the damage they have done to themselves and the ones around them. The time, money and effort they could have spent on experiences they will actually remember, girls they actually give a shit about and do things they actually want to do

What they want to do is vent anger, frustration, pain and sadness while still looking like a cool person and let me tell you, I know because most of my friends at uni are like this and it's complete bullshit. When you talk to these people 1 on 1 they could be lovely and have a few problems but give them a beer, a club and a few other people like that then you have a bloke in hospital after trying to get with some girl and her boyfriend come kicks his arse. Then says it was a great experienced

Overall, trust me you aren't the only person who feels insane to an insane world, I feel like it and most people feel like that. I does sicken me sometimes

That is the problem. What is the solution? Do I just go out, say "fuck tommorrow" and drink until I can't feel? Should I just bone random girls? Like God forbid somebody ever did something meaningful in this world. They seem much more focused on getting drunk/high/laid than actually establishing meaningful connections with other people

 

[Axzarious]

Everybody is selfish at the core, and I think that also makes humanity successful in some way. If you help somebody for the sake of helping them, your doing it for the rush of chemicals that your brain releases upon doing so. Life, in the purest sense, is the continued replication of DNA regardless of form. Replication is what DNA is at its core, it seeks to duplicate itself. (Very simplified If im remembering this correctly.)

What I can say, is that I have a similar thought pattern to this, and the only answer I can come up with is this:

Life has no meaning until something that can perceive meaning can give it meaning.

You must give your own meaning to your life, and should you achive that goal, create a new one. Should you lose interest in that goal, create another one. The meaning of life to one, may not be the same as its meaning to another.

 

[QCX]

I can completely relate to you.

I'm naturally nice, I go out of my way to help people and be a good friend. Problem is that I never get treated the same way I treat people and generally find it hard to find people that do treat me the same way.

Its not that your Jaded in anyway, its that you don't give people a chance to prove themselves. Your casting judgment without prior evidence.

 

[The Rockerfly]

That is the problem. What is the solution? Do I just go out, say "fuck tommorrow" and drink until I can't feel? Should I just bone random girls? Like God forbid somebody ever did something meaningful in this world. They seem much more focused on getting drunk/high/laid than actually establishing meaningful connections with other people

You just need to ask yourself, do I want to? Do you want to get so drink that you are sick or sleep with as many girls as possible? I mean it has pros and cons on both sides

Personally I wouldn't, even in your situation. I think we're kind of similar and I know I get no enjoyment out of that kind of lifestyle, I have tried to like it but it just won't happen because I am not like the people who do want it, we think about why we want to do it rather than just mindlessly accept what the alpha idiot wants to do

Instead I go out once in a blue moon, end of exams, birthdays and end of a term. That is it completely and I can enjoy that because there is a reason to do it, not just doing it meaninglessly. If it's any help most of these people will be dying because of alcohol poisoning, alone because they have never had a meaningful relationship and regret every stupid second of it

If you want to hang out with these people just go to the cinema, bowling, ice skating etc instead, stuff that doesn't involve sluts, alcohol and idiots who are angry at their lives

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

That is the problem. What is the solution? Do I just go out, say "fuck tommorrow" and drink until I can't feel? Should I just bone random girls? Like God forbid somebody ever did something meaningful in this world. They seem much more focused on getting drunk/high/laid than actually establishing meaningful connections with other people

You just need to ask yourself, do I want to? Do you want to get so drink that you are sick or sleep with as many girls as possible? I mean it has pros and cons on both sides

Personally I wouldn't, even in your situation. I think we're kind of similar and I know I get no enjoyment out of that kind of lifestyle, I have tried to like it but it just won't happen because I am not like the people who do want it, we think about why we want to do it rather than just mindlessly accept what the alpha idiot wants to do

Instead I go out once in a blue moon, end of exams, birthdays and end of a term. That is it completely and I can enjoy that because there is a reason to do it, not just doing it meaninglessly. If it's any help most of these people will be dying because of alcohol poisoning, alone because they have never had a meaningful relationship and regret every stupid second of it

If you want to hang out with these people just go to the cinema, bowling, ice skating etc instead, stuff that doesn't involve sluts, alcohol and idiots who are angry at their lives

It just seems like I am alone, like the last person of a dying age. I know everybody is "Special", just like everyone else, but I see so many of the same qualities in everyone, yet when I look at myself I seem to have a unique mindset. I just wish I could find a girl who is atleast similar to me (yes, a solid portion of my thought process goes to women. I don't care anymore if that makes me a hypocrit)

 

[The Rockerfly]

It just seems like I am alone, like the last person of a dying age. I know everybody is "Special", just like everyone else, but I see so many of the same qualities in everyone, yet when I look at myself I seem to have a unique mindset. I just wish I could find a girl who is atleast similar to me (yes, a solid portion of my thought process goes to women. I don't care anymore if that makes me a hypocrit)

You will find a girl like that, just don't settle for the girls you can pick up in bars and pubs. They are not the women you want and some will arguing sleeping with lots of people is a good thing but it is horrible. At least compared to getting a decent woman who loves you

Go into a concert band, cooking classes, dance, gym, work, school, collage. There are plenty of women everywhere just don't let people fool you into believing they are only in pubs and clubs

I know how you feel and finding someone identical to you isn't a good idea, you could spend a life time searching for a person like you, trust me it's pointless. Find someone you like, someone who makes you smile, laugh and you find attractive.

May I ask how old you are?

 

[dmase]

First off... you live in fucking NY. Where you not born there or something? I don't think i could stand to live in that city more than a year.

This is gonna sound cheesy as fuck but here might as well go for it. You might wanna look to yourself as to why you find everybody else as shit. Your holding yourself on a pedestal that no one else can reach because you do some good deeds. You think your always putting someone else first but what it seems like your doing is feeding your own ego. This may not be true but considering you are holding people in contempt for not doing these things your only helping yourself by helping others.

You admit to not giving anyone more than a glancing interest so I won't hold that against you. Thats probably the biggest problem you see, it so fix it, instead of making someone prove themselves give them more than the first meeting to like them.

 

[LebbyLegs]

[/quote] It just seems like I am alone, like the last person of a dying age. I know everybody is "Special", just like everyone else, but I see so many of the same qualities in everyone, yet when I look at myself I seem to have a unique mindset. I just wish I could find a girl who is atleast similar to me (yes, a solid portion of my thought process goes to women. I don't care anymore if that makes me a hypocrit)[/quote]

When you have the confidence and drive to strike it out your own way, say what you think, and do what you wanna do, it is very easy to look at everyone else who isn't like you who follows trends and think of them as 'mindless sheep.' Whats important to remember is that these people are still Human. They still have their own dreams, ambitions, desires, friends, family, lovers, posessions, memories etc. Even the most uninteresting follower still is amazingly complex, and there is probably dozens of factors you'll never be aware of that are influencing the way they behave.

As to one of your previous comments when you wishes you were blind and deaf like the rest of them, I know this feeling
My Dad often used to say to me "Sometimes I wish I was ignorant, it would be bliss" And to a certain extent I agreed, but then again, being different, an individual is a rare gift. Its soemthing that should be valued my friend, although you have to remember it doesn't make you superior to anyone else That is very important.
I hope you understand what Im getting at and that this helped


(PS: since im new to forumming I have no idea how to just quote a certain section of what someone said, so my quote brackets are kinda fail )

 

[TheGreatCoolEnergy]

It just seems like I am alone, like the last person of a dying age. I know everybody is "Special", just like everyone else, but I see so many of the same qualities in everyone, yet when I look at myself I seem to have a unique mindset. I just wish I could find a girl who is atleast similar to me (yes, a solid portion of my thought process goes to women. I don't care anymore if that makes me a hypocrit)

You will find a girl like that, just don't settle for the girls you can pick up in bars and pubs. They are not the women you want and some will arguing sleeping with lots of people is a good thing but it is horrible. At least compared to getting a decent woman who loves you

Go into a concert band, cooking classes, dance, gym, work, school, collage. There are plenty of women everywhere just don't let people fool you into believing they are only in pubs and clubs

I know how you feel and finding someone identical to you isn't a good idea, you could spend a life time searching for a person like you, trust me it's pointless. Find someone you like, someone who makes you smile, laugh and you find attractive.

May I ask how old you are?

16. Not exactly the philosphical age, I know