How to Take Over the World With a Monkey and a Spork

[Uncompetative]

Just the one monkey? Not an infinite number. I understand you can do interesting things with that many.

Let each monkey find its own tool. The spork could just confuse them as they each try to find a use for it.

 

[megatron2.0]

Use the spork as a picklock to steal the Area 51 instant cloning machine, clone 10 billion monkeys, have them storm our nukes and gold warehouses and nuke every country in the world if just one person doesn't obey me!




NOW KNEEL PUNY MORTALS!!!!!

 

[RikSharp]

i think the real question is: What would guybrush threepwood do with a monkey and a spork?

 

[sgtshock]

Train the monkey to become an extremely skilled assasin/espionage agent, trained in the deadly arts of spork-fu.

Use monkey's deadly stealth skills to break into the Pentagon and gain access codes for the United States nuclear stockpile.

Destroy every major capital city in the world, leaving all world governments in disarray. Any world leaders who escaped harm would quickly recieve a spork in the neck, delivered by a skilled simian hand.

When the world is in chaos, rise above and use the monkey's adorableness to win the hearts of the masses, and establish a new world government, with myself as the supreme ruler of the Earth.

 

[Captain Kong]

I bet MacGyver could do it.

 

[rottenbutter]

You know that One Red Paperclip thing, where that guy started with one red paperclip and kept trading his way until he got a house?

Do that, except start with a monkey and a spork, and keep trading till you can get your hands on some nuclear weapons.

 

[BlackIronGuardian]

First, you
Then, you
After that, you
Reaching for the laxatives, you
Brown splotch on the wall,
Spork
Monkey
Voila, one island empire. Simple? Simple.

 

[TwistedEllipses]

Order the monkey to kill everyone but you. As the sole survivor you will automatically be the ruler of the world...

 

[Easykill]

http://xkcd.com/419/

 

[Incredible Bullshitting Man]

It is impossible, you hear me, impossible! You cannot tame a wild spork, it is too powerful for a mere man. Neither can you breed one. It has been tried once, with gory results.

You could, however, use the monkey as an ecological banana peeling device.

 

[bad rider]

A monkey and a spork? Don't you think that's just a tad overpowered?

Thats what i was thinking, christ why don't you load him up with WMD's while your at it.

 

[vid20]

Everyone seems to be focusing on the fundamental flaw here of the monkey using the spork. Victory will never be archived through these means, you must let go of the precognition that the monkey is the engineer and the spork the tool. Then all will be reviled.

 

[atv_chic_18]

Everyone seems to be focusing on the fundamental flaw here of the monkey using the spork. Victory will never be archived through these means, you must let go of the precognition that the monkey is the engineer and the spork the tool. Then all will be reviled.

You are probably quite right about this.

 

[MegaBastard]

Send the monkey to distract some guards, then assassinate the current king of the world with the spork while shouting the lyrics to "Tungur Knivur" by Jørn Lande.

 

[monkey_man]

train the monkey to be a ninja
use the spork for a very conviniantly placed spork-powered-cloning-device
clone the ninjamonkey a zilion times
make ninjamonkeys fight wars for me
make sure i am crowned king of ze world
use spork-powerd-...-device to clone me too
make clone rule the world
go back to lame life as a nobody while (evil) clone takes over the universe

if i may not use the spork-po.....-device
train monkey to be ninja
make him steal spork-powered-cloning-device
and you know the rest