Peter Moleyneux programs interfaces and AI (I do like the ideas he has, but his design choices for control and game mechanics are horrible, see Fable 2,3/Black&White 2), the voice acting is done by outraged 11-year olds playing Halo online. Quality control is handled by Obsidian and the patches are all released as 10$ DLC. Skipping cutscenes means you fail the mission and have to start a new game.
Valve is hired to develop the third episode of it, the controls are optimized for Wii but you play it on a PC (wiimote control requirements included), Square Enix is responsible for release dates, Bobby Kotick and George Lucas are your customer support, Ubisoft handles the DRM, the games are hyped up like Spore...and play exactly like Spore, only as an fps with gun-metal grey and sewer brown colored worlds.
And it's all you ever get. Sequel after sequel after sequel, only cash ins that are more or less map-packs.
Feel free to add more hellish things.