How would my fellow escapists react if they were in a scenario like this.

[BlackSaint09]

First of all id like to start off with this: Im sleep deprived at the moment.
Second id like to apologize ahead if i managed to offend someone.
Third English isnt my native language so all the inbound spelling errors... Have a heart to try and decipher them. Please...
And now to the topic.

Imagine a scenario for a moment.( Since i am a male il be taking this from the male point of view. So if any ladies happen to come across this topic then please dont leave but try to imagine it from youre angle. Ok back to the topic for real now.)
You meet someone. For you they are the perfect ideal person. It doesnt take long to fall in love with them. Youre head over heels yadda yadda yadda. Basically this person is someone you would pretty much agree without any hesitation to spend the rest of youre days(and nights) with.

Imagined that kind of person/feeling/how ever you want to say it?

But now add this.

During a relationship that has lasted already for months she/he has yet to reveal theyre job/occupation. Youre curiosity has been weakened by youre affection for them.

One day she finally manages to stock up her courage and confidence in you to reveal a secret she has held from you for the entire relationship.
She is an adult movie actress.(pornstar for all of you lads/lasses that prefer simplicity)
She/he does the job because its easy income.EDIT: She/He would obviously hide his/her occupation out of fear of losing you.

The questions are simple.
What is youre immediate reaction?
Is the relationship over?(Remember youre affection for her/him at the beginning of this thread)
Whats next? Tell me escapists.

Thank you for reading.

 

[Machiavellian007]

My immediate reaction would probably be one of surprise, but I don't think my relationship with them would hinge on their career, if I was so in love with them.

I'd probably be a little hurt that they kept it from me for so long, but I'd get over it.

(Also, with the amount of porn I watch, I'd probably have found out before they told me...)

 

[Thaluikhain]

Well, it depends on your stance on porn. If you are a consumer, you can't really get all upset about that without being a massive hypocrit.

Otherwise...well, I guess it'd depend on why they were doing porn, whether they need the money and have no options, or whether they like doing it or what.

 

[Combustion Kevin]

uhm....huh...

I gues I would ask why she chose this job and if she's happy with it.
then take it from there.

I dunno, I suppose I always assumed that pornstars are single in order to prevent complications in relationships and work.
then again, they are people too.

 

[Caravelle]

My immediate reaction : "Wow, that's really interesting. And weird. I don't know anyone who does porn, tell me more about it"

As for the relationship, it would also depend on how you feel about sexual exclusivity. If there are at least some sexual acts you don't want your partner to be doing with other people and you can't come to some kind of compromise on it then there isn't much left to be done.

 

[BlackSaint09]

Considering she had been sleeping with other people at the same time as me without talking to me, its over. It's cheating, that simple.

If they were upfront with me at the beginning I'd consider it, but frankly I don't think I'd be happy in a relationship where there is always a chance someone else could father my wife's baby, or that she could bring home a deadly STD.

Uhm actually the adult movie industry protects theyre actresses and actors from getting such diseases. I suppose i should also mention that she worked in a high quality company. Meaning the odds of STD would be amazingly small.

Also he/she continued this line of work cuz it pays well for her/him. The job is somewhat easy and so on.

 

[Piorn]

Depends, if it's really hardcore, I'd count it as cheating, but if she works solo, and enjoys her job(I don't really understand but whatever), then it's fine by me, I won't force her to give up her career for me.

 

[ZeroMachine]

The job is somewhat easy and so on.

Aw, come now, was that a pun?

To answer the question, I would most likely end the relationship. Relationships are about trust. That would, to me, be a HUGE breach of trust.

Plus, in your OP, you said that "Youre curiosity has been weakened by youre affection for them."

For me, curiosity strengthens affection, and affection strengthens curiosity. So that wouldn't happen. If she hid her job from me even though I would have specifically talked to her about it because I'd like to know about the supposed love-of-my-life, I'd be worried, and it'd be a huge issue in the relationship.

 

[Torrasque]

Considering she had been sleeping with other people at the same time as me without talking to me, its over. It's cheating, that simple.

If they were upfront with me at the beginning I'd consider it, but frankly I don't think I'd be happy in a relationship where there is always a chance someone else could father my wife's baby, or that she could bring home a deadly STD.

Pretty much this.
At first, I'd be "wtf? you're in porn? why haven't I seen any of your stuff?!", but then I'd probably realize she is getting paid to sex up guys that are not me. The fact that she is comfortable to share it with me at all means she is pretty damn comfortable with me, and thats cool, but the fact that someone I meet might go "HEY! I BEAT OFF WATCHING YOUR GIRLFRIEND THE OTHER DAY!" would be really fucking hard to get used to.

Slightly on topic: don't post when sleep deprived, trust me I know from experience. Get some sleep and post when you wake up and are thinking straight. Sleep deprived posts are like drunk texts: they never go well.

 

[spartan231490]

I'd be surprised, and probably a little weirded out initially, but I'd get over it pretty quickly and I don't think I would break off the relationship.

 

[x0ny]

Get her tested, even if the company protects them from STDs, just test to be sure. If tests are negative, continue the relationship if you're comfortable with her occupation.

 

[WhoaItsBrett]

I'd immediately feel sexually threatened, haha. I've seen my fair share of porn, and let me just say I don't "measure-up" to the competition. If you catch my drift. (I hope that statement even makes sense, I'm sleep deprived too.)

That being said, I'd try my best to work it out. It would be a lot to get used too.

 

[suitepee7]

Well, it depends on your stance on porn. If you are a consumer, you can't really get all upset about that without being a massive hypocrit.

yes you can. watching porn and being in a relationship with a pornstar are two incredibly different things. you can watch and enjoy porn, and still get pissed off with the fact that another mans cock has been inside your girlfriend without you knowing anything about it.

OT: i have no idea how i would react. initially i would be pissed from it being kept, then rationally talk things through, and think about whether i would be comfortable knowing what her job entails. personally i doubt i would be able to make it work, but i've never been in that situation, so i couldn't say.

 

[tahrey]

Some variation on "woo! can we see some of your career highlights?"

Porn actors/actresses rarely actually find their job that sexy or satisfying, and they're rigorously and regularly checked for STDs...

Also she thinks of you as enough of a confidant that she'd let something like that slip, so the relationship seems to be going somewhere and, despite the job and/or history, they have respect for you. It's just taken time to work up to it. Probably quite scared of the reaction. The ball's in your court, so to speak, to approach it as an understanding adult rather than a reactionary firebrand teenager.

I mean, I don't know if I'd be too happy at it being an ongoing and long term career plan, but it may depend on the specifics of it. Like, does she do oral? Does she/did she always brush, floss and gargle with mouthwash afterwards and before planting any hickeys on you?

(perhaps i've just been inured by fifteen years of interpron... and also Marten's mom in Questionable Content...)

 

[Shoggoth2588]

Love trumps all and sex really isn't the reason people get married (or rather, it's not why people who get married and stay married for the rest of their lives) If it's meant to be, if you are each other's soul mate then it won't matter. Acting in a porn isn't a lifetime career but while it lasts it's lucrative. I wouldn't see it as being a big deal personally.

 

[BlackSaint09]

Considering she had been sleeping with other people at the same time as me without talking to me, its over. It's cheating, that simple.

If they were upfront with me at the beginning I'd consider it, but frankly I don't think I'd be happy in a relationship where there is always a chance someone else could father my wife's baby, or that she could bring home a deadly STD.

Pretty much this.
At first, I'd be "wtf? you're in porn? why haven't I seen any of your stuff?!", but then I'd probably realize she is getting paid to sex up guys that are not me. The fact that she is comfortable to share it with me at all means she is pretty damn comfortable with me, and thats cool, but the fact that someone I meet might go "HEY! I BEAT OFF WATCHING YOUR GIRLFRIEND THE OTHER DAY!" would be really fucking hard to get used to.

Slightly on topic: don't post when sleep deprived, trust me I know from experience. Get some sleep and post when you wake up and are thinking straight. Sleep deprived posts are like drunk texts: they never go well.

Hmm good point.
However. She wouldeve obviously cared about you enough to maybe be too ashamed of her job or fear losing you if she told you what she did. It would be a mistake on her part mostly. And maybe shed even be willing to quit if you wanted her to?
Also remember that unless you live with a bunch of rednecks then pornography isnt some sort of open discussion/bragging thing.

 

[Freaky Lou]

It'd never get to that stage.

My beliefs would prevent me from being in a relationship with someone in that profession, and surely she'd pick up on that if we were so close. Besides, the fact that she'd keep this from me is not a good sign. I'd end it because clearly the relationship is not what I thought it was.

 

[BlackSaint09]

Love trumps all and sex really isn't the reason people get married (or rather, it's not why people who get married and stay married for the rest of their lives) If it's meant to be, if you are each other's soul mate then it won't matter. Acting in a porn isn't a lifetime career but while it lasts it's lucrative. I wouldn't see it as being a big deal personally.

I see im not the only one who thinks that way.

 

[putowtin]

first question to said boyfriend (I'm female so have swapped it round)
"Do you have a fluffer then?"