How would you fight off aliens?

[jad4400]

After watching this youtube video for the tenth time, I began to wonder "How would the Escapist community fight off aliens?" After pondering for several mintues I decided to post this on the Escapist.

Sooooo......How would you fight off an alien? I personally would smeer peanut butter all over my self and hope that the aliens are dangerously allergic to peanut butter.

Here is the youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrRCR0iOMr0&feature=PlayList&p=dOWv76j71Ew

 

[Jark212]

Guerrilla warfare, I just need a few willing recruits...

 

[thiosk]

With rule 34.

 

[delet]

With rule 34.

So we just send them to Japan? Yea, that'll work, though I don't think Japan would like being Nuked again...

 

[Omikron009]

I would use a...gun....that shoots....guns...that shoot....guns. I'm not in a creative mood right now.

 

[Stilt-Man]

I'd just get Chad.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWqI0U3pBdA

 

[Insert Comedy Here]

I'd sneeze. That'll learn the em'

 

[Dorian]

Depends on what kind of aliens you mean.

Technology-dependent aliens, like the Greys? I grab a sword of my choice and run into the forest in hopes of losing him, then while he's searching for me I ambush him and try to impale his spacesuit or body.

Or are you talking something like Alien v. Predator?
Cause if it's that, I'm royally fucked : /

 

[Insanum]

With a crossbow.

Lets see shields deflect THAT.

(it also answers two questions. #1 will it kill them? #2 What colour are the aliens insides?)

 

[Sassafrass]

I would engage it in an intelligent and thought provoking discussion.
We would discuss the pros and cons of them invading us, what their reasons are for doing so and any counter arguments Earth wishes to make. Then we would discuss the value of this world, taking into account natural resources, economy as they will no doubt need one and the purpose of the DVD Rewinder.
Then I'd try and convince them that Earth has nothing of any value for them, that is just basically a rock of no importance and then leave them with a statement which proves this theory which will convince them to leave this planet and go and invade some far flung planet. I'd be named Saviour Of Earth, become famous and live in a mansion.

Or I'd just hit 'em with a stick.
Whichever I can bothered to do first.

 

[pickleweasel785]

I would have them watch reality TV 24/7.

If that doesn't work.. then I'll shove a grenade down their throat!

 

[Souplex]

I would Throw the mothership through their fleet smashing everything in the way.

 

[TheNumber1Zero]

I would use a...gun....that shoots....Crossbows...that shoot....Porcupines. I'm not in a creative mood right now.

Better?

First thing to pop in head: ... Not telling
Next idea: Hope they are Whale shaped

 

[Dorian]

I would engage it in an intelligent and thought provoking discussion.
We would discuss the pros and cons of them invading us, what their reasons are for doing so and any counter arguments Earth wishes to make. Then we would discuss the value of this world, taking into account natural resources, economy as they will no doubt need one and the purpose of the DVD Rewinder.
Then I'd try and convince them that Earth has nothing of any value for them, that is just basically a rock of no importance and then leave them with a statement which proves this theory which will convince them to leave this planet and go and invade some far flung planet. I'd be named Saviour Of Earth, become famous and live in a mansion.

Interesting.

But how would you overcome the inevitable language, or as it may be communication, barrier?

 

[Macgyvercas]

Same way the Martians were destroyed in War of the Worlds...duh.

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

I'd get a crowbar and grow a goatee.

 

[bodyklok]

Nuke from orbit.

It's the only way to be sure.

 

[Sassafrass]

I would engage it in an intelligent and thought provoking discussion.
We would discuss the pros and cons of them invading us, what their reasons are for doing so and any counter arguments Earth wishes to make. Then we would discuss the value of this world, taking into account natural resources, economy as they will no doubt need one and the purpose of the DVD Rewinder.
Then I'd try and convince them that Earth has nothing of any value for them, that is just basically a rock of no importance and then leave them with a statement which proves this theory which will convince them to leave this planet and go and invade some far flung planet. I'd be named Saviour Of Earth, become famous and live in a mansion.

Interesting.

But how would you overcome the inevitable language, or as it may be communication, barrier?

I believe I would acquire Doctor Who's TARDIS, which can translate into any language into English.

If this is not possible, I shall ask government scientists if they could whip up a translator device of some description post haste, giving me means to translate any language in the world in roughly 4 seconds. If this is not possible, I'll move to Plan B.
Which is the stick.

 

[DoctorNick]

I'd bend over and kiss my ass goodbye because right now if an alien race with the technology and energy resources to travel between the stars wanted us dead, then they would be able to exterminate everything on this planet in short order.

 

[Dorian]

I believe I would acquire Doctor Who's TARDIS, which can translate into any language into English.

If this is not possible, I shall ask government scientists if they could whip up a translator device of some description post haste, giving me means to translate any language in the world in roughly 4 seconds. If this is not possible, I'll move to Plan B.
Which is the stick.

If you could manage to find an alien not trigger-happy enough to actually agree to a conversation with you, then I believe that just might work.

And a stick?
Why not something effective? Like a Pokéball?