How would you have responded to this provocation?

[Brawndo]

I was at a college football game today with a girl I've recently started dating, and I was wearing the rival team's colors because I like that team. Now I naturally expected some shit talk for doing so, but what ended up happening was the entire first half a fan from the home team pelted me with ice and popcorn. When I asked him to stop, he told me to **** off. He kept doing it, and the girl asked me "aren't you gonna get him to stop?" I confronted him again, yelling at him that he wouldn't be throwing anything if his friends weren't around to back him up, and he said "you ain't gonna do crap you skinny ***got." I gave him the finger and walked away.

I didn't want to get in a fight because I didn't want to get thrown out of the stadium or arrested by security, but now I feel embarrassed and totally emasculated in front of this girl. I feel like guys think its okay to start shit with me because I have a skinny build (6'1, 160 lbs), and they think I won't fight back. It happens quite often when I play basketball or go out to bars

 

[Private Custard]

1) Congratulations for walking away and not dropping to his level.

2) The girl should see that and think better of you, not worse. If she doesn't, fuck it, she's not for you.

 

[smearyllama]

I would have got up and left, or gone to the bathroom.

Yeah, I'm not good at conflict resolution.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

I would like to think I could confound him with my dazzling wit.

But I'm tired right now, and I doubt it (did I spell 'dazzling' right?)

 

[Daystar Clarion]

If he was close enough when he threw the stuff I would have punched his face in. People can talk shit all day and I'll shrug it off but if someone invades my personal space, be it themselves or something they've thrown, it's rage time.

 

[Brawndo]

If he was close enough when he threw the stuff I would have punched his face in. People can talk shit all day and I'll shrug it off but if someone invades my personal space, be it themselves or something they've thrown, it's rage time.

Trust me, I was itching to hurl him down three flights of bleachers, but the problem is I'm worried as hell I'll get arrested. I'm in law school and we have to report any run-ins with the law, however small, to the Bar Examiners, and that can mess with my chances getting admitted to the Bar after I graduate. Also, self-defense is almost impossible to prove, even with witnesses. You basically need video evidence

 

[Daystar Clarion]

If he was close enough when he threw the stuff I would have punched his face in. People can talk shit all day and I'll shrug it off but if someone invades my personal space, be it themselves or something they've thrown, it's rage time.

Trust me, I was itching to hurl him down three flights of bleachers, but the problem is I'm worried as hell I'll get arrested. I'm in law school and we have to report any run-ins with the law, however small, to the Bar Examiners, and that can mess with my chances getting admitted to the Bar after I graduate. Also, self-defense is almost impossible to prove, even with witnesses. You basically need video evidence

Ah yes, that I can understand. I'm a law graduate and I've been told stories about a guy who stole a traffic cone on a drunken night out, he got caught and it completely ruined his chances of applying for an LPC/the bar.

 

[eggy32]

I'd have used harsh, condescending words on him to confuse and hurt him then laugh and point when he attempts a witty retort.

 

[Strain42]

I say you did the right thing. The guy was probably a meatheaded jock who lost his football scholarship by knocking up the head cheerleader after an evening of cheap domestic beer.

You shouldn't feel emasculated in front of that girl, you should feel proud, and she should feel proud. Now yeah, if the guy issued an actual challenge and you screamed and ran away holding your ears...that'd be different.

But you didn't just take his abuse, you attempted conflict resolution, and eventually decided not to bother.

Kudos to you, good sir. I shall toast you with my heartiest wine

 

[laststandman]

I would have gone up and kissed him right on the lips. I guarantee you he would have completely stopped with zero follow-up on his part.

In reality, however, I don't know what I would have done. I probably would have done nothing, but if it had been a quieter setting, I would have proven the failure in his logic through a series of questions, thus making his actions seem irresponsible, irrational, and inappropriate. I hate it when I go to Devils games and I see people harassing fans of the opposing team. The only time I found it to be okay was when I saw them play the Blackhawks, and there was this one fan who kept standing up and shouting for the Hawks. He knew what was coming and embraced it, which made it feel okay when the whole crowd chanted "asshole" at him. In that situation, I think it is okay because the guy was instigating and did not expect to be received warmly. On the other hand, I saw them play the Calgary Flames the other day, and all of these Devils fans kept calling the Flames fans, who were sitting quietly enjoying the game, faggots." That was messed up.

If this girl seriously thinks less of you because of that, then she is a shallow woman and you probably want to either pursue other women or avoid situations where you would have to prove anything. But seriously, you did the right thing.

 

[Frotality]

well the obvious 'beat his ass into crying shame' idea probably wouldnt end well for any party involved. its important to note that idiots like that would sooner die than stop being idiots, so id say you really couldnt of done anything better. just try to avoid them; even if you could easily knock him out, he would learn nothing, and youd be thrown out.

personally, i would have savagely beaten him, but....

1. i cannot fathom a situation were a woman would willingly accompany me anywhere, so i cant really consider that factor.

2. i dont even like watching sports, so i wouldnt really mind being kicked out.

 

[Sun Flash]

You did the right thing, especially considering your law school stuff. props, bro.

You did more than what I would've done. I'd like to think I'd have walked up to the guy and smacked him one, but in reality I know would have just blanked it, shrinking lower into my seat as the game went on.

Did your team win? That'd be some condolence.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Should have went at him.

Unfortunately because you are studying for the bar, that pretty much limits your options. So you did the right thing, for your situation.

Though, one day, you will have to confront people, otherwise people will think you to be a wuss. thats all I'll say about that.

As for being emasculated, you're not. Really, you showed something that women (well, most) like to know is in thier man, which is the ability to walk away. Though the finger was excessive. So good job to you, for handling the situation in the best way available to you at the time.

 

[Fwee]

I'd say you did just fine. Guy's an ass, will always be unless we start rounding their kind up and start their reprogramming with some car batteries hooked up to their nuts.
No amount of rational discourse would do any good in this case, since these people aren't dealing in reason in the first place. At best you could have seen if you could get him kicked out for messing with you. Next time though, just call me and I'll drag him outside by the throat. I hate those kind of assholes and would happily go to jail for a chance to permanently fuck them up.

 

[archvile93]

Regardless what she think, not that I know, you did the right thing. After all, if you got into a fight he wouldn't the one going to prison or more likely fined, even though he should've for provocation.

 

[Nouw]

For your situation, good choice but one day it'll make you a wuss. He called you skinny and you give him the finger. Let's just say if you punched him that wouldn't be a problem anymore.

If it was me? Depends how big he is but I'd probably just walk away. I only fight for self-defense so...

 

[Vrach]

1) Congratulations for walking away and not dropping to his level.

2) The girl should see that and think better of you, not worse. If she doesn't, fuck it, she's not for you.

^This, was the right thing to do at the time. That said, I'd say kick his ass next time if he tries it outside a stadium/public place. Stooping down to a level is one thing, not being willing to stand up for yourself is another.

 

[klaynexas3]

i'm actually quite proud of you, i would've done something small but knowing these assholes it would've gotten so out of hand. and the girls that i'm into, they'd probably rather me have done what you did. you handled it well. and if she would rather have you be some hotheaded pin prick like them then she can go have them. if she does, i guess it goes to show, nice guys finish last...or in the shower (sorry, just had to say that)

 

[rokkolpo]

I'd have used harsh, condescending words on him to confuse and hurt him then laugh and point when he attempts a witty retort.

would not work.
He would sooner laugh at you for trying to be vocal while he's throwing popcorn.