How would YOU make a Super Mario movie?

[Misterian]

With Nintendo aiming to make movies, I have a question for you guys that's been floating in my head.

We all know how the last attempt at a Super Mario movie turned out, but Tatsumi Kimishima announcing that Nintendo's movies won't be live-action is (in my opinion) at least a step in the right direction.

And unlike some people, I don't believe video game movies are bad strictly by design, I know there are some good ones out there that had the good fortune of being competently directed and were reasonably faithful to their source material (the Japan-only Gyakuten Saiban movie, Ratchet and Clank, and the Pokemon movies being some examples, and arguably even the Prince of Persia movie if you're willing to forgive the slightly questionable casting choices)

Which is why I ask this; How do you think a Super Mario movie should be made?

Story-wise, I think a Mario movie would be best done as a self-parody, with how surreal the setting is, how many various video game tropes the franchise as introduced over the years, AND how well-known Mario is, making a film that doesn't take itself too seriously might be the way to go.

 

[Saelune]

Make it like that old cartoon, but longer. Update the character designs though.

 

[McMarbles]

I'd probably go CG and just tell a classic Mario vs. Bowser tale.

One thing I wouldn't do is have Peach get kidnapped. That's been done to death.

 

[Misterian]

Either completely slapstick if live action or a Pixar-like feature if authentic to the spirit of the games themselves.

 

[Maximum Bert]

I would have a lets play with the old dear playing Super Mario 1.

The first hour would be her repeatedly dying on the 1st Goomba trying to work out which of the two buttons is jump. Level 2 would be the sequel (may be a long time in the making).

 

[FillerDmon]

It's not as if the Mario series isn't capable of being interesting as hell. Super Mario RPG, Paper Mario, Thousand Year Door, and some of the Mario and Luigi games have shown that Nintendo is capable of writing an excellent plot with a good story, interesting lore, and great use of their characters. Just do something like that, and instead of worrying about the mechanics for the players sake, just make the action scenes super awesome.

Set it a bit like how Marvel's been doing their movies, with establishing moments of action inbetween incredibly funny in series jokes and setting only the few touches of foundation that haven't already been heavily established by the existence of the 50+ games so far that have ingrained Mario into the public conscience harder than most people remember their own families. Just the bits relevant to the new plot, such as hints that the bad guy responsible for the invasion or the disruption of the star spirits or whatever might not be the certain King Koopa we all know and love to throw into bombs. A lot of the cinematography used in Super Smash Bros WiiU and Brawl's cutscenes might be good.

...oh my god, does that make Smash Brawl -literally- the Nintendo equivalent of the Avengers? All the heroes fighting each other until shit gets set to gather them together to fight the real big bad? I now feel the need to replay that game again.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

I'd make a prequel about Mario's daily struggles as a down on his luck plumber. It would get into such personal issues as Luigi's drug addiction (how do y'all think he got so skinny?) and his failing relationship with the Princess. It would end with Mario holding a handgun in one hand and a bottle of Jamesons Irish Whiskey in the other, about to end it all, when Toadstool comes in and tells him the princess had been kidnapped. He would put down the bottle, stuff the gun in his waste band, and walk out the door, thus setting the stage for the second movie about the more well-known story.

Princess Peach would be played by Whoopi Goldberg, Toadstool would be Danny Devito, Mario would be Bill Murray, and Luigi would be played by some random crackhead pulled off the street, so long as he was significantly taller than Bill Murray.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I would probably make it cartoony CGI like in the same realm of Pixar/ Dreamwork etc and also a U rating of course.

I don't think I can take Mario seriously if done anything else than that.

 

[CaitSeith]

I would steal the plot from Super Mario RPG or Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga. We establish how the things normally are: Peach gets kidnapped by Bowser over and over, and Mario rescues her every time. But this time a new overwhelming enemy appears, breaks down this cycle, and Mario and Bowser end up joining forces to return things to normal.

 

[Misterian]

I'm sure it'll be CG though I'm interested to know if they'll keep the original voice actor or at least a voice actor similar to the games. Because it's quite an iconic voice, but whilst it might sound funny for the rare one line, a whole movie using that voice, hell just a real moment of full dialogue, would be really grating to hear very quickly.

As for the movie, CG, something kind of like the Angry Birds movie, or at least what I gathered from the one trailer I've seen. Something funny, set in the games universe, sort of a kids movie with humour adults can appreciate. Honestly I would be hard to screw up.

 

[KaraFang]

I'd get the writers who did the Lego Movie and ask them to write the script.

Do the movie faithfully, but tongue in cheek... if an audience knows something is silly, then you keep it silly, but you laugh with them and try to do jokes on an adult level.

The movie needs to be CGI, all the way, and certainly capture the Mario world to work (again, like Lego).

 

[Something Amyss]

Make it like that old cartoon, but longer. Update the character designs though.

Who plays Captain Lou?

 

[JimB]

How do you think a Super Mario movie should be made?

Probably with, like, cameras and stuff.

I remember Nintendo Power having a long-running comic based on Mario back in the day. Something funny like that would be nice.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

I'd make it an oppressively bleak, mute origin story while still keeping the bright colour and insanity to juxtapose the horrors of their reality they find themselves in . It would be like an eastern European indie film on steroids and acid, with an undercurrent of humour so dark, people are never sure if they're supposed to be laughing or collapsing in despair. There would be a romance arc between bowser and peach/daisy, while everyone around plans and expects her to marry do-gooder luigi...the greatest traveller of pipes and hunter of wild creatures! One day, Luigi's brother turns up on his toadstep unannounced to drag him along the greatest adventure for hidden pirate treas...no, wait...i'm thinking of uncharted again. Sorry!
Anyway, bowser becomes the empathising character through the harshness he has had to endure in life as residents assume the big spikey lizard dude to be always evil. He maybe accidentally killed his little sister as a kid when he didn't realise he had fiery breath powers (a rare mutation in his family). Being shunned mostly, he finally gets to know social worker, Peach/daisy(?) who is assigned to check up on him regularly to make sure he isn't getting up to any of that evil again ...romance slowly occurs etc etc. Erm, then Luigi starts to show his true colours as an arrogant twatface and perhaps even slightly deranged, opening Peachydaisy's eyes to change her mind and plans. Possibilities for dramatic showdowns now available. With a variety of potential outcomes.

Meanwhile there's a subplot involving a cannabilistic murderer taking out town residents. Spoiler alert, it's Mario, who takes backstage as a drugged up homeless genius, unhinged but a master of disguise to complete his ritualistic killings unnoticed. He can either undergo a character arc to become a slighlty more ethical murderer...or get taken out by Peach or Bowser, i'm not too bothered really. As long as he keeps the killings interesting in a Hannibal sort of way. This can all be done without a word mutterd. Instead, just clever framing, emotionally dynamic music and expressive body language/facial detail. The kids will love it!

 

[Sean Renaud]

It kinda depends on how greedy I am when I wake up that morning. See normal me takes the plot of Mario Galaxy and mooshes it with Mario RPG to allow Geno (of the STARS) to show up and I call it a day.

Greedy me makes Mario 3 as a sprawling epic over three movies and really play up those kids as deadly threats not distractions.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Bowser kidnaps Peach, if you want to be faithful to 99.99% of the source material.

 

[Metalix Knightmare]

One thing I wouldn't do is have Peach get kidnapped. That's been done to death.

Kids today. No respect for tradition.

 

[sonicneedslovetoo]

I would make it about Sonic the Hedgehog, but not 90's 2d Sonic, Sonic 06 Sonic. I would put Michael Bay in charge of writing, Uwe Boll in charge of producing, Shyamalan in charge of directing, and I would have them use the Donkey Kong Saturday Supercade cartoon as a reference.

If I was being serious about it, I think it would have to move away from the normal games and move more towards the RPG's, however I would use some of the settings from later 3d Mario games. I could see some possibilities with Isle Delfino and possibly a mystery plot. If i was really crazy I would pair up with Toho and make a Kaiju movie with Bowser.

 

[Casual Shinji]

I'd make it live-action and turn it into a super colourful, Roger Rabbit-esque acid trip. Give Mario full-on bright red and blue overalls, and do the same with Luigi, put them in a crazy cartoony world with squeeky mushroom midgets that are led by a slightly retarded blond princess who's been in this world for so long that it's effected her mind.