How would you re-write Star Wars?

[signingupforgames]

I know that nearly every Star Wars nerd on this site hates episodes 1-3. So here's a question for you. Yes YOU. How would YOU re-write episodes 1 to 3.

EDIT: So I'm reiterating the topic here. re-WRITE does not mean 'MAKE IT NOT EXIST'.

 

[tomtom94]

How about so that they didn't happen and the backstory was left ambiguous, that generally seems to be what people want.

 

[Mr.Mattress]

Ewoks are freaking mosters, that at first don't trust the gang but after they help the chieftain escape the empire, the Ewoks help. Jawa's are more menacing and sometimes raid whatever they can. Jar Jar Binks is now an Intelligent yet easily scared Fish man. Panamarai doesn't die from giving birth to their kids, and is an old woman living somewhere. Han shoots first, get over it. And lastly, Lando betrays the Empire before Solo is encased in Carbonate, and dies a heroic death.

 

[BlumiereBleck]

I wouldn't rewrite it, it's fine the way it is

 

[Omikron009]

More space battles, less Jar Jar, less whiny Anakin.

 

[Gigaguy64]

ehhh.
I think its fine the way it is.

 

[Mr.Mattress]

I don't care about star wars, so i'd make it like this-

every character dies in the first film, and all the other films are solely about lesbian sex.

So... Your going to be Ed Wood, but more extreme?

Also, you made me laugh with your post.

 

[Grey_Focks]

The prequels wouldn't have existed. Star wars didn't need a prequel and I enjoyed the mystery of everything about it. The prequels bent that mystery over and did horrible things to it. Horrible, horrible things.

and god dammit, you do not cast Samuel L. Jackson as a Jedi and then have most of his screen time sitting in a fucking bean-bag chair talking about shit nobody cares about, you have him whooping ass and screaming about how he's whooping ass.

 

[RobThePrezodent]

how about a wolf who can fly, and he can speak russian, and he's got mean lasers that can burn through paper and....I've gotta write this down

 

[Quaxar]

I wouldn't rewrite it, it's fine the way it is

Mainly this, but more screentime for Darth Maul is really, really tempting...

 

[capin Rob]

Well, I'm not sure, ask this fella'

 

[Anarchemitis]

Give the series a rest already, the newest one is 5 years old.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I wouldn't. It's not my place to tamper with other people's creations.

 

[LostTimeLady]

Episodes 1, 2 and 3 are alright I guess. What I'd probably do is make sure it didn't suddenly go and wreck a ton/tonne of established expanding universe canon in one foul and swift move. Oh, and remove some melodrama, add in that all important 'Star Wars factor' that some how the prequals lacked. Bring back the gritty, the story driven narative... oh, woops, for a second I forgot they're not about to make episode 3.5.

Anyway, point is, they're ok, but I'd sooner watch the originals.

 

[Arsen]

Edit - NVM

 

[Vuljatar]

Remove Jar Jar. As far as rewriting goes, that's all that immediately comes to mind.

But I'd certainly re-cast Anakin and Padme.

 

[Lionsfan]

I kinda like them. But one thing I would do if I was in charge of rewriting would be to cut kid Anakin. The prequels would start with the Clone Wars and focus on Anakin going from a whiny self-absorbed hotshot Jedi to the him turning over to the dark side.