General Grievous would have gotten more screen time and not had such a lame death, but other than that I'd keep everything the same. It's not like I could come up with anything better.
How would you re-write Star Wars?
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There are no child actors that can act like adult actors can act.cerebus23 said:
I wouldn't rewrite the star wars series. I would just chibify it. Or use hand puppets and teddy bears.
-edit-
On second thought:
Make a new prequel movie that uses what the last six has brought to the table with larger emphasis on the midi-chloreans( chlorines?) and some new stuff.
You have a universe with three large force using armies. The Sith, the Jedi and the Grey.
The Grey believes they must exist to balance out the machinations of the Sith and the open maneuvering of the Jedi. They tend to use both sides of the force and able to hold their position by using two personal weapons that allows them to maintain a grip on the two sides.
They believe in the yin-yang duality of the force while the other two have different ideas.
An older Grey using the dark side makes a prophecy regarding how the force will be balanced out. It claims that one Grey made strong from the blood of the many will bring balance to all.
Something to that effect.
So younger generation begins to go all highlander on the Older Generation. One older group of Greys that were part of their cult's council are able to win against the younger generation. This group is then convinced by a their most powerful member to just leave the galaxy with their ship. Ensuring that their cult survives. He stays behind claiming that he must save his younger pupil.
He goes to the homeworld of the Greys and finds death. Thousands of their cult members dead or dying. While the young fight, he begins to rip the midichlorians from their bodies while using his two sabers as his focus. One is black and the other is white representing the Light and the Dark respectively. The younger Generation apparently never were taught how to do that or if it was possible.
Of course he battles the younger Generation and ultimately finding out his own pupil had the great idea to wipe each out for a stupid prophecy made by crazy dolt. He wins by forcing his pupil to fight his twin sabers while he is trying to crush the kid's heart. He wins just because of the massive amount of midichlorians that lives in his body.
He then goes into a hibernation cocoon type thing as he alters his body to actually accept and use all these bugs in his system. The Sith at this point has acquired him while the Jedi has taken over their world looking for survivors. He wakes up after a hundred years on a Sith controlled world and makes a mess of their things. They wanted to convert him to their side... they figured he was pretty close anyhow. He refuses and go psychopathic on them.
The forces of the Sith almost gets wiped out by this guy as he begins to rip the midichlorians from everything into himself. Pretty much turned a lush jungle world into a desert by himself. This event gets the attention of the Jedi. The sith runs and hides while the Jedi tries to bring the man down. Both the Jedi and the Sith are completely flabbergasted that someone can actually take midichlorians out of people/things.
Qui Qon Jinn figures out a way to take him down while involves using the Jedi council as bait. He never tells his cult what his real plan was.(this guy tended to jerk like stuff in the movies anyhow) He does it. The twin sabers falls lifelessly ... and falls off a cliff. uh... the grand battle was near a cliff.
Now for Part 2 of the movie:
A ghost version of the Grey heads out across the desert planet and chooses a female salve to be his wife. He then scares the sh** out her owner and she gets to live in peace in her own house. You get some love scenes of an unseen ghost courting the young slave and they get it on.
He stays close to the developing child and his force strong persona attracts midichlorians into the child. Far more than ever seen.
He dies finally.
The movie ends with the slave woman naming him Anakin.
I think I may be one of the few people who did not hate the new star wars (the originals were beater we can agree on that) but i would write out jar jar binks and that's it I think
I think Harrison Ford said it best "George, you can type this shit, but you sure as hell can't say it." better dialogue, better direction of actors, and when Annakin becomes Darth Vader, he sure as hell should have been played by David Prowse, not some gormless midget.
-Did everyone make it out of there?
-Well, almost everyone... Jar Jar didn't make it...
-He died a hero's death, holding back those bounty hunters while we escaped.
-truly a hero
-Well, almost everyone... Jar Jar didn't make it...
-He died a hero's death, holding back those bounty hunters while we escaped.
-truly a hero
Jar Jar serves a necessary role to the story, even though the he totally failed to fulfill it. He represents the comic relief character that the audience can easily sympathise with. This role used to be filled by R2-D2 and C-3PO, who managed to be entertaining and sufficiently cool, without being annoying.
So I actually think you should keep Jar Jar, but write him a better character, for god's sake. Cutting him out of the story will just leave an incomplete movie experience.
So I actually think you should keep Jar Jar, but write him a better character, for god's sake. Cutting him out of the story will just leave an incomplete movie experience.
Let me tell you this, Darth Maul is not only the Star Wars Chuck Norris, but the guy who played him played Chuck Norris, so we gotta give the first one it's props for that. And I like Jar-Jar, he made me laugh. Also what's up with hate on the midichlorians? They give a little explanation to it rather than leaving it as hocus pocus voodoo majic. That said the first one I watched was 'Episode 1' so I have a love for that one. The two after that were alright but Anakin was a whiny little ***** which annoyed me a lot, like everyone else, then he got worse in the third but it was still bearable.
But the CGI star wars look-a-like that looked nothing like star wars was just shoveling the shit. Which is why I refer to it as a look-a-like wannabe.
But I wouldn't change Star Wars one bit. There's no denying the original trilogy was better but the three prequels are fine as they are, if a little angsty.
But the CGI star wars look-a-like that looked nothing like star wars was just shoveling the shit. Which is why I refer to it as a look-a-like wannabe.
But I wouldn't change Star Wars one bit. There's no denying the original trilogy was better but the three prequels are fine as they are, if a little angsty.
Sorry, but rewriting 1-3 as not existing is the way I'd do it.
It doesn't need a 1-3 and it gets harmed by the prequels. There's no way you could write the prequels without the damage.
Look at Enterprise versus Star Trek. To make the prequel interesting, you have to add in new stuff; which overwrites the old stuff.
1-3 shouldn't have existed, or should have been made within a year of them.
It doesn't need a 1-3 and it gets harmed by the prequels. There's no way you could write the prequels without the damage.
Look at Enterprise versus Star Trek. To make the prequel interesting, you have to add in new stuff; which overwrites the old stuff.
1-3 shouldn't have existed, or should have been made within a year of them.
Recast Padme, whiny *****, no strength at all, and horrible acting, her emotions were non-existent.
More space fights.
Rewrite Anakins script, take out the dumbass periods he gets, he can't even be taken serious, what years of fighting in a war and he still hasn't matured? Thats like the inspiration for Twilight.
More space fights.
Rewrite Anakins script, take out the dumbass periods he gets, he can't even be taken serious, what years of fighting in a war and he still hasn't matured? Thats like the inspiration for Twilight.
make it exactly like it was in family guy! XD sorry, if ive seen it it was years ago, i cant remember
First make Anakin less of a whiny ***** and more of a brooding conflicted person. Everything up until he goes Sith doesn't come off as 'future dark lord of the sith' but more around 'future angsty starbucks server'
Make him have a more determined outlook. Make his change from Jedi to sith be more because he truly thinks its right rather then he's just a stupid brat that wants to get his way. Which is how he came off to me.
Make Amadallas death an accident. Purposely killing her, then asking if she is alright... Dude what? Like make during the fight scene with Obi Wan he unleash force lightning or throws something at him and it kills Paname after she gives birth. Make it an accident that he can't do anything to save her with simply because Obi Wan is trying to gut him, or he is to blinded with rage over the fact that if Obi Wan joined him instead of fighting she would have lived and is to overcome with rage to stop and save her.
Essentially re attach his balls. I don't want a whining emo Sith lord. I want a dark brooding warrior who fights for what he thinks his right. Not because he is having an angst moment. I prefer villains that you can understand why they are doing what they are doing, even if what they are doing is horrible. Most of his evil actions i felt were just sorta.... stupid. Same with his reactions.
After slaughtering the Tusken raiders he sounds like he is going to start bawling. I'd rather if he was relating his tale with a dark smile on his face. Savoring his victory rather then whimpering over it. Yes, i know hie just found his dead mother, but the blood of his enemies is still fresh on his skin. Revel in it! Revel in it damn you! You just slaughtered the people who killed your mother. Take joy in it!
The love scenes were almost painful to watch at times. I realize the love itself was important. It needs to be there. God though i always wanted to through a hunk of cheese at the damn screen.
Make him have a more determined outlook. Make his change from Jedi to sith be more because he truly thinks its right rather then he's just a stupid brat that wants to get his way. Which is how he came off to me.
Make Amadallas death an accident. Purposely killing her, then asking if she is alright... Dude what? Like make during the fight scene with Obi Wan he unleash force lightning or throws something at him and it kills Paname after she gives birth. Make it an accident that he can't do anything to save her with simply because Obi Wan is trying to gut him, or he is to blinded with rage over the fact that if Obi Wan joined him instead of fighting she would have lived and is to overcome with rage to stop and save her.
Essentially re attach his balls. I don't want a whining emo Sith lord. I want a dark brooding warrior who fights for what he thinks his right. Not because he is having an angst moment. I prefer villains that you can understand why they are doing what they are doing, even if what they are doing is horrible. Most of his evil actions i felt were just sorta.... stupid. Same with his reactions.
After slaughtering the Tusken raiders he sounds like he is going to start bawling. I'd rather if he was relating his tale with a dark smile on his face. Savoring his victory rather then whimpering over it. Yes, i know hie just found his dead mother, but the blood of his enemies is still fresh on his skin. Revel in it! Revel in it damn you! You just slaughtered the people who killed your mother. Take joy in it!
The love scenes were almost painful to watch at times. I realize the love itself was important. It needs to be there. God though i always wanted to through a hunk of cheese at the damn screen.
Assuming that the first three movies are the only things that are cannon I'd start there.
1.) There is no rule about adopting only children to be Jedi. That means from Obi Wan's description of Anakin in A New Hope he'd be in his 20's when he became a Jedi. No bull about him magically knowing how to pilot spacecraft(some of the most complicated machines that exist) as a child.
2.) Similarly there's no rule against marriage since even within the established story this rule is ignored often enough (Ki-Adi-Mundi being the most notable) and thrown away entirely afterward anyway.
3.) Yoda is Obi-Wan's Master. I like Qui-Gon but having more Yoda would have been cool.
4.) Padame doesn't die in childbirth.
These are the plot points I would have begun with anyway.
1.) There is no rule about adopting only children to be Jedi. That means from Obi Wan's description of Anakin in A New Hope he'd be in his 20's when he became a Jedi. No bull about him magically knowing how to pilot spacecraft(some of the most complicated machines that exist) as a child.
2.) Similarly there's no rule against marriage since even within the established story this rule is ignored often enough (Ki-Adi-Mundi being the most notable) and thrown away entirely afterward anyway.
3.) Yoda is Obi-Wan's Master. I like Qui-Gon but having more Yoda would have been cool.
4.) Padame doesn't die in childbirth.
These are the plot points I would have begun with anyway.
The original trilogy is fine. Although I would definitely re-write the prequels.
Episode 1 is fine except for Jar-Jar. I either remove him entirely or re-write him into something that isn't a complete twat. Or have him die at some point. That works too. Also, fucking midichlorians.
Episode 2: Less green screen, more on location shooting.
Episode 3: Anakin still falls to darkness, but he falls with dignity, instead of like a little *****. Also, that scene where Obi-Wan and Greivous are standing off and it does the eye zoom thing? Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Less Greenscreen. Seriously, I understand adding effects to the far background or for the battle droids, but you can afford to hire extras to be clone troopers George Lucas. Seriously, the original trilogy often looked realler than the prequels because they used fucking sets.
Episode 1 is fine except for Jar-Jar. I either remove him entirely or re-write him into something that isn't a complete twat. Or have him die at some point. That works too. Also, fucking midichlorians.
Episode 2: Less green screen, more on location shooting.
Episode 3: Anakin still falls to darkness, but he falls with dignity, instead of like a little *****. Also, that scene where Obi-Wan and Greivous are standing off and it does the eye zoom thing? Kill it. Kill it. Kill it. Less Greenscreen. Seriously, I understand adding effects to the far background or for the battle droids, but you can afford to hire extras to be clone troopers George Lucas. Seriously, the original trilogy often looked realler than the prequels because they used fucking sets.
I would have Bioware make them.
They know how to do good action scenes as shown from The Old Republic cinematic trailers, and I'm damn sure they can come up with a better story than Lucas.
I'm talking about the prequels, I won't touch 4, 5, 6. They're basically perfect and changing them would be stupid. Plus Lucas already changed them up a bit.
They know how to do good action scenes as shown from The Old Republic cinematic trailers, and I'm damn sure they can come up with a better story than Lucas.
I'm talking about the prequels, I won't touch 4, 5, 6. They're basically perfect and changing them would be stupid. Plus Lucas already changed them up a bit.
