How would you run hell?

[AzrealMaximillion]

I'm not talking Christian Hell, Tartarus, or Jahannam. I'm talking your hell.

Your are Lucifer, or the equivalent of, tasked to arrange and choose the most appropriate infrastructure for the eternal punishment of those who were generally assholes in their living days.

How would you do it? What would it look like? What would be the punishment. How organized would it be?

 

[krazykidd]

Void and solitude . Nothing more . Enjoy eternity all alone , in all darkness , all by yourself, forever .

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

I've always preferred Crowley's method in Supernatural.
One long, endless line.
Because why reward people for being dicks in life by allowing them to be dicks in the afterlife?
No one likes waiting in line.

 

[DazZ.]

Party. Likely not organised at all except I get free reign.
No need for torture, all the fun people will be in hell so let's just have the best party in existence.

Relevant from 2mins in, apparently the #t things don't work here.​

 

[Fappy]

They'd be reborn as toilets so that they can be shit on for the rest of time.

 

[Aris Khandr]

Party. Likely not organised at all except I get free reign.
No need for torture, all the fun people will be in hell so let's just have the best party in existence.

I'd set up two parts of hell. Are you in hell for being a murdering, thieving, general sort of scum person? Eternal blue balls, and at the height of your arousal, someone with steel toed boots kicks you in the jimmy as hard as they can. Forever.

Are you in hell because you didn't buy into Christianity or thought that sex was more interesting when done in groups? Eternal party, frak punishment. You're fine.

 

[AzrealMaximillion]

I'd have it look exactly like the world we're in now, only when you do a crime the punishment is extremely severe. Like sticking a man inside of the Sicilian Bull and roasting him because he was an arsonist who killed someone with one of his fires. And he wouldn't die.

I'd run hell like the ultimate rehabilitation centre, which those who shape up get to be reborn on the Mortal plane to try again.

I'd honestly like to see that work as an opposite system for Heaven. It'd be like deportation due to being an asshole.

 

[Vegosiux]

Welcome to Hell. Beware, the demons and devils here have very scary forms.

Here, have this N0-3KZ/AF12 exit form. You can leave when you're done. No slacking though, we will pile more paperwork on you if you decided to try and bypass the regulations. Now get in the line, good chum.

(And of course you'll be done somewhere between "heat death of the universe" and "never".)

Oh and the only thing on TV will be infomercials.

 

[JoJo]

Firstly punishment would only be reserved for those who deserve it, not those who were unfortunate enough to believe in the wrong religion or not at-all. It would be an ironic hell, so for example a sinful fat man would be forced to eat all of the time, child abuser would be punished by being repeatedly violated by a giant etc.

Finally it would not be permanent, just long enough so the person would realise why what they'd done was wrong and to truly regret it, then once they had paid off their debt they would be allowed into paradise.

 

[klaynexas3]

Flaming clown spiders in an elevator at the bottom of the ocean, and you have to give a speech in front of a lot of people in a few minutes. And you're in your underpants.

In all seriousness, if we're talking torture hell, as in it's my job to torture these people, then I'll be one of the few here that's actually out to make a terrible place. Everything would be personal hells, and I'd base some of it off the book "Letters from Hell" where you go to a school first where you learn about what you did wrong. Then you get the torture. Each individual gets their own demon and a personal hell to be in for eternity, constantly changing to match what would be most torturous to the victim. Let's say they're someone from the Middle East, and they want a nice cool place to be, crank up the fires. On the opposite end, if you would like a warm place, you'll get a nice time with liquid nitrogen. Fear of spiders? You got them. Hate heights? Guess who's doing the next space jump. Fear of solitude? Done deal. Fear of crowds? Welcome to China. Racist? Well, China might also be good for you too. I'll personalize each hell. Well, the demons will anyway, I'll just be the head.

 

[Catfood220]

Void and solitude . Nothing more . Enjoy eternity all alone , in all darkness , all by yourself, forever .

That actually sounds fun. And no one around to judge you when you go stark staring bonkers. At which point you will have your demented mind to keep you company to distract you from the fact you are all alone in a dark void of nothingness.

My Hell would probably be a lot like Skegness.

 

[hazabaza1]

Put people in Corby.
The horror... THE HORROR

 

[Ryotknife]

I would run it like the protagonist from Disgaea 4. People are reborn as Prinnies (demonic penguins that blow up when thrown) who have to work off their sins for minimum wage, 20 hour work days, horrible working conditions, and no breaks.

 

[The Artificially Prolonged]

All new entrants shall be tied up in an empty room with a long nailed demon and a chalkboard for company for the first thousand years. For the second thousand years we bring out the desk and the plastic ruler...

Put people in Corby.
The horror... THE HORROR

My God! What would someone have to have done to deserve that fate?

 

[Eddie the head]

They'd be reborn as toilets so that they can be shit on for the rest of time.

I have seen some fetish porn that would lead me to believe that some people might like that.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I would assign one of underling/ minion per victim. Their job is pretty much monitor him/ him and also troll/torment or whatever it is to make that person miserable.

 

[Judgment90]

All occupants must build a 10,000 story ivory & diamond fortress.

All of my hell's most beautiful women must enter my personal harem.

All dissidents and traitors must be strapped down and forced to watch every Twilight movie repeatedly until their faces rot off.

Every Friday is Donut Day.

My Speech Music must be a Death Metal Remix of "The Imperial March".

 

[Ldude893]

Mediocre sinners can go to purgatory for several years before moving on to heaven; basically a waiting room with a TV playing infomercials round the clock. The process can speed up if said sinners repent for their past lives.
I'll only accept heavy sinners in hell, typically those who cause misery to others. I'll send them to heaven once they repent after living their worst moments and the suffering of their victims several thousand times.

And of course: a special zone reserved for child molesters and people who talk in the theater.

 

[Alaster Angelo]

Hell is a singly highway covered in Legos, all arranged in different positions, and to get to Heaven, which is roughly 1000 miles away, you have to step on all of them.

 

[Akytalusia]

easy. it'd be as close to heaven as i can imagine. i don't believe anyone deserves to be punished.