How would you survive a horror movie?

[Vrex360]

Ever since I first saw Scream I've wondered how to survive horror movie set ups. I realise now that there are many specific kinds of horror movie and so it makes sense that here would be important rules on how to survive so I figured as my example I would do the following things in the following horror genres:
Slasher: Don't get laid or drink. We all know that breaks the rules. If I ever find myself being chased by the killer kick him in the balls.
Ghost horror: When my friends say 'hey let's all go into that creepy Japanese house where three people were horribly butchered one year ago tonight' I'll respond with, 'I have a better idea, let's not, let's go home home and play Guitar hero instead'.
Zombie horror: Slow zombies... close the gate, let's see them figure THAT out.
Monster movies: Somehow manage to befriend it.
In the case of all of the above: I'd use the holy search bar.

So that's me, how would you survive a horror movie of any specific genre?

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

Not being black would probably help.

 

[DeleteMe1112311]

I would just characterize myself better than everyone else, get 2 love interests to make for inevitable conflict and make sure I was not any further stereotype. Then you are pretty much guaranteed to make it. They gotta keep you around for all they can do with you.

 

[Skeleon]

NEVER split up the group of survivors, DON'T investigate every stupid noise.
Stay in a tight group in the center of a big, brightly lit room, back to back, forming a defensive ring.

 

[Curtmiester]

Bribe the writers. No better defence then cheating.

 

[Marshmallow]

Learn how to fly/shoot lasers out of your eyes.

 

[hondommond]

Ok what you gotta do...is get a 10 gauge minigun, find a nice big hotel...lock the place up.
use the carts to block some of the doors(they are pretty strong) and make a help meh sign on the top of the roof (hopefully its a flat roof hotel)

Also carrie around a blunt object just in case....aim for the inner part of a zombies leg...he will fall and then you can just bash its head in...in case of hordes of zombies...you have a 10 gauge mini gun and thats pretty over powered

 

[Vrex360]

I would just characterize myself better than everyone else, get 2 love interests to make for inevitable conflict and make sure I was not any further stereotype. Then you are pretty much guaranteed to make it. They gotta keep you around for all they can do with you.

That could work but odds are they would kill you off first and very early on so that they didn't have to bother characterising you. If it were me in a slasher film I would probably BE the slasher.

 

[Wordsandstuffwillbenexttothis8465]

Not being black would probably help.

This.

Almost came off as racist too, but we're not the ones making the movies.

 

[The Infamous Scamola]

Not being black would probably help.

This.

Almost came off as racist too, but we're not the ones making the movies.

It ain't my fault minorities seem to have the shortest lifespan in horror movies.

Blame the writers.

 

[Otterpoet]

Not being black would probably help.

This.

Almost came off as racist too, but we're not the ones making the movies.

It ain't my fault minorities seem to have the shortest lifespan in horror movies.

Blame the writers.

No kidding! The same thing goes for Action Movies, frankly. I can?t remember which movie commented on it (I think it was Canadian Bacon), but a group of guys were discussing who was likely to die first and then they all looked at the Black character, who promptly looked at himself and said, ?Ah Shi?!?

 

[massau]

become invincible or invisible. or

NEVER split up the group of survivors, DON'T investigate every stupid noise.
Stay in a tight group in the center of a big, brightly lit room, back to back, forming a defensive ring.

 

[PureChaos]

i would survive a horror movie by pretending the movie doesn't exist and carry on with my day to day day life. (i'm SO funny!)

 

[Captain Wes]

Make sure that the main character thinks you're a dick but have a heart of gold. Don't reveal how kind you are untill it's all over. Basically use character development to your advantage, also I f you are in a situtation where you might die "sacrifice" yourself but let nobody see you die, you're bound to show up alive in the end.

 

[aruseusx]

By being the kind hearted ex of the sexy innocent blonde lead character.

 

[aruseusx]

I meant female

 

[sky14kemea]

badly

me being the "funny/weird" one, im going down after the black guy

although im not stupid enough to open the door when i hear a noise, i run like hell

 

[Monkfish Acc.]

By using my brain at some point.
That should help, regardless of genre.

EDIT: Actually, now that I think about it, being the only non-idiot is probably the worst possible thing I could do.
The smart guy is pretty much guaranteed to die or turn evil, especially if he has a clear-spoken accent.

So yeah. I'd either kill all of you or die in the most bullshitty way possible.
Damn.

 

[SmilingKitsune]

Honestly, I probably wouldn't, I would likely be carved up quicker than a christmas turkey.

 

[abysk]

Well one thing to do is NOT turn your back on the monter when you think its dead.