Humans as the Alien Invaders

[Soviet Heavy]

So, while surfing the /tg/ (4Chan's Traditional and Board Games message board) spinoff site 1d4Chan, I came across a series of articles titled "Humanity: Fuck Yeah." Essentially, the gist of the threads was that of humanity's actually quite awesome abilities. We aren't always the weak and puny humans that media, often Science Fiction likes to showcase us as. This eventually spiraled into a discussion on what humans would be like in science fiction where WE were the hostile aliens, the most dangerous force in the galaxy, and tyrant rulers of the stars.

The results of the discussion ranged from hilarious to horrifying, and it was a fun group thought experiment on Humanity in science fiction. I was wondering if anyone would like to do the same thing here, without the usual level of creep and sperging that often infects 4Chan threads.

So: Humans are the Alien invaders. How would you interpret this? Are we colonial expansionists, warriors used to fight other alien's wars for them? A plague? Pillagers who care nothing and strip worlds clean? Anything from simple observations on human ability and morality, to fluff writing from an alien perspective of us if we were warmongers in the future.

Spoiler: Like So:

From the office of Senator Th'rsesh, military liaison to the Omari High Council:
One planet. Just one planet, in some distant arm of the galaxy. On a galactic scale, this is a species that is by all accounts extinct. They are individually small and their prowess varies wildly between incompetent and lethal. They rely on a careful mixture of gases to breath, which is exceedingly rare on our worlds. They routinely poison themselves to destabilize their inner chemistry in an attempt to push their bodies further. When not fighting others, they just as quickly turn on themselves to fuel their lust for conflict. Humans embrace self destruction and violence as part of their very nature. They are a blip, a mere footnote in galactic history.

HOW ARE WE LOSING THIS WAR?

 

[Kaendris]

This is an incredibly hard question to answer, as it forces the responder to create what forms of life we encounter. This inevitably leads to our own inherent bias becoming a pseudo "mold" for humanity to fit.

However, I love philosophy, so lets give it a go. Humanity would initially seek peace, because we know that is the way you are "supposed" to operate as a "good guy". Yet, since our ability to communicate, without basing both what we hear and what we say off what we want, is, as of yet, under-developed, we would stumble into conflict after conflict.

We would justify these clashes as the "reality of the Universe". We will expand our view of a "hard world to live in" to cover the Universe and it's many dark corners. In this reality, we would justify every act of aggression and depopulation we undertake. As we discovered new and powerful resources, those sources would be seized. After all, we have to consider Earth's defense. If anything, I believe Humanity would operate more like a plague, conquering and seizing what we need under the justification of survival.

Eventually, when the groups we found disgusting were properly whittled down to a manageable level, and the Universe was afraid of the lengths which we would go to win (think destruction of an entire planet, maybe with some form of mass driver weapon) we will move into an Imperial form of dominance. Control through polite smiles and head nods, all the while holding our finger on the "war" button.

There is little about any form of humanities history with power that makes me believe otherwise.

(I reserve the right to edit this as better and funny ideas pop into my head. It is 2 am and my coffee has not kicked in yet.)

 

[DefunctTheory]

"I wonder what they'll be like?" he mused. "Will they be nothing but wonderful engineers, with no art or philosophy? They're going to have such a surprise when Orostron reaches them?I expect it will be rather a blow to their pride. It's funny how all isolated races think they're the only people in the Universe. But they should be grateful to us; we're going to save them a good many hundred years of travel."
Alveron glanced at the Milky Way, lying like a veil of silver mist across the vision screen. He waved toward it with a sweep of a tentacle that embraced the whole circle of the galaxy, from the Central Planets to the lonely suns of the Rim.
"You know," he said to Rugon, "I feel rather afraid of these people. Suppose they don't like our little Federation?" He waved once more toward the star-clouds that lay massed across the screen, glowing with the light of their countless suns.
"Something tells me they'll be very determined people," he added. "We had better be polite to them. After all, we only outnumber them about a thousand million to one."
Rugon laughed at his captain's little joke.
Twenty years afterward, the remark didn't seem funny.

We poison our air and water to weed out the weak! We set off fission bombs in our only biosphere! We nailed our God to a stick! Don't fuck with the human race!

I'd imagine that for us to invade and destroy another species, it would be because they were so different, so utter foreign, that it was impossible to live in the same Universe.

 

[Dirty Hipsters]

If you think about human beings, we only really have empathy for other humans, and animals who are cute and fuzzy. I think that if we ran into an alien race who were all lizard people, or insectiod, or arachnid in nature that we wouldn't have too much of a problem with justifying killing them for their resources even if they were to be intelligent.

Now mind you, I don't think that humans would go around and just utterly exterminate other alien races. More likely than not, we would come to their planet, take their resources, maybe learn something about their technology if they have any. We probably wouldn't have any moral qualms about forcefully taking said resources, relocating the aliens to different areas if they live somewhere that's inconvenient for us, but I think for the most part we would preserve alien cultures in some capacity, for cataloging purposes if nothing else.

Then again, lack of communication skills on our part would probably result in war with any species that we come across, at least if they think anything like humans do, or if they're on a technological level where they could even try to oppose us.

It would be interesting to see how religions incorporate the existence of alien life into their doctrines. More than likely, some of the larger religions would view human beings as their god's ultimate creation, and the aliens as failed attempts that we must educate, or worse yet, annihilate.

 

[Soviet Heavy]

I'd imagine that for us to invade and destroy another species, it would be because they were so different, so utter foreign, that it was impossible to live in the same Universe.

That was my favorite part of the 4Chan threads. The outsider perspective by aliens on just how alien we seem to them. It's a nice contrast to the arrogant "Elves are just better than you" condescending aliens. These are beings who fundamentally don't understand each other, and it inevitably leads to war. Like in Ender's game, how the Buggers didn't understand the concept of individuality and personal life.

 

[Abomination]

I always liked the idea of humanity serving as a form of mercenary force for other species to make use of. Perhaps the other races are set in their ways but humans would be more adaptable to new technology and capable of developing new strategies and tactics in warfare by comparison.

This depends entirely on the technological level of the aliens humanity encounters, of course.

If the aliens are less technologically advanced than us I can see it going one of two ways: benevolent uplifting or sentient pets. Picture, if you would, a race in what was our equivalent of the medieval era and suddenly aliens show up and start showing an interest in them. We would be viewed as gods and it would be very easy to exploit this situation to our own benefit, essentially creating a "slave" race that worshipped us and was not just willing but HAPPY to be sent into war to fight for us.

Depending on their physical characteristics we could make use of them in other ways. If they're physically robust and capable they could become the grunts of our military or pioneers of our other galactic colonization efforts. If they're small they could become pilots for vehicles and other equipment - a smaller cockpit allows for more emphasis on other systems leading to more efficient vehicles. Perhaps they're aquatic? What a perfect union, we can exploit the land while they can exploit seas.

 

[InsanityRequiem]

Well, look to Warhammer 40,000 for how Humanity deals with aliens. If they're big enough a threat, ignore/deal with them minimally to handle other threats. If they're weaker or do not have anything useful about them? Extermination and use the planet for their own species. Usefully? Make them slaves. Extremely stronger? Hope they get weakened by one of the other races out there before wiping them out.

 

[DefunctTheory]

I always liked the idea of humanity absolutely scaring the shit out of alien races.

Just the idea of their evolution being slow and "peaceful" compared to humanity's leaps and bounds thanks in part to conflict, but also the sheer stubbornness of our species sending chills up their spine is pretty funny to think about.

There was a story (Can't remember the name) about a war between aliens and humanity. The Aliens started it, but almost immediately the humans were assaulting the aliens worlds.

The aliens couldn't die - when they were killed, their consciousness was transferred to another body. They assumed humans were the same for years.

When they found out this was the case, the collectively shit themselves in terror. Death was cheap to them, but humans were descending onto their planets on tiny drop ships that they shot down in droves. They were killing hundreds of thousands of human beings, for good. And the fact that a race of people would willingly stare down oblivion just for a chance to shoot one of them in the face was terrifying.

 

[Reise]

Well, there's Starship Troopers...

If I recall correctly, there was one story involving an enormous galactic war...and one species decided to go to what is essentially considered the "Do not go here, it's Hell" zone of the galaxy to find a fantastic race to ally with. Turns out it was Humans.

We were reclining on hammocks. But they convinced us to help them. So when they left orbit, we and our uplifted pals the dolphins and I think gorillas had freaking Earth and the Moon break orbit to follow them.

In most stories where humans are the invaders, it's because we're basically the most petty, destructive race in the universe (which isn't far from truth, if you recall how humans tend to overreact to 'man-eaters' in the wild).

 

[SsilverR]

If that was truly the case and the galazy went to the ape .... then I REEEEALLY guenuinely pity every other species

 

[Warachia]

I remember a book series that sort of had this theme, the idea was there were two alien factions, one that thought everyone should have their individuality destroyed and their minds manipulated so that they'd all work toward the same goals, and the other was for free will.
The free will side was slightly losing and were looking to recruit more aliens to fight alongside them, then they come across humanity who quickly find that apparently the alien war is literally the easiest to win war in history, because the aliens would not take any risks at all, they have not bulletproof windows overlooking the battlefield but the attackers wouldn't shoot because that would give away your position and then you might get shot, neither side wants to use WMD's (and the mind control side flat out refuses) and neither side built any defences for weapons they know the other won't use against them.
So the freewill side recruits humanity, then upon nearly winning the war realizes that it was a huge mistake, because humanity starts building its own ships to take resources from space to fund its own war efforts because they aren't going to stop, every nation on earth gets behind fighting a mind controlling alien threat pretty quickly (especially when the aliens invade in what is history's most disastrous invasion), and the first book ends with one of the main aliens wondering how long it'll be before humanity turns on itself again, or if they're going to make war with them (the free will aliens) afterwards.

Incidentally if anybody knows what book series I'm talking about, please tell me the title, I'd like to reread them.

 

[Thaluikhain]

If you think about human beings, we only really have empathy for other humans, and animals who are cute and fuzzy. I think that if we ran into an alien race who were all lizard people, or insectiod, or arachnid in nature that we wouldn't have too much of a problem with justifying killing them for their resources even if they were to be intelligent.

Now mind you, I don't think that humans would go around and just utterly exterminate other alien races. More likely than not, we would come to their planet, take their resources, maybe learn something about their technology if they have any. We probably wouldn't have any moral qualms about forcefully taking said resources, relocating the aliens to different areas if they live somewhere that's inconvenient for us, but I think for the most part we would preserve alien cultures in some capacity, for cataloging purposes if nothing else.

Er, looking at the history of our world, humans have treated other humans much worse than that.

...

On a related note, we often see things about "weird alien abilities", not really "weird human abilities". Humans are bipedal, for example. A quadruped animal would find it much harder to climb a ladder, possibly not move sideways so fast.

Primate vision is quite different to most other placental mammals. This is why hunters (and tigers) can wear bright orange, their prey doesn't see them the way we do. Imagine wearing camouflage to your enemies and high visibility jackets to your comrades. Or disguising landmines this way. Or writing in colours that are indistinguishable from the background colour.

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

I'd imagine that for us to invade and destroy another species, it would be because they were so different, so utter foreign, that it was impossible to live in the same Universe.

I don't know, I imagine an alien species that is very similar to us would have a lot more to fear from humanity. Such a species would probably live on a world similar to ours. Have similar basic needs to ours. Use similar resources to us. And so on.

In other words, they could be considered competition for the things we want.

 

[Clive Howlitzer]

I always liked the idea of humanity absolutely scaring the shit out of alien races.

Just the idea of their evolution being slow and "peaceful" compared to humanity's leaps and bounds thanks in part to conflict, but also the sheer stubbornness of our species sending chills up their spine is pretty funny to think about.

There was a story (Can't remember the name) about a war between aliens and humanity. The Aliens started it, but almost immediately the humans were assaulting the aliens worlds.

The aliens couldn't die - when they were killed, their consciousness was transferred to another body. They assumed humans were the same for years.

When they found out this was the case, the collectively shit themselves in terror. Death was cheap to them, but humans were descending onto their planets on tiny drop ships that they shot down in droves. They were killing hundreds of thousands of human beings, for good. And the fact that a race of people would willingly stare down oblivion just for a chance to shoot one of them in the face was terrifying.

That's pretty awesome. Now I wish I knew what the story was.

 

[Thaluikhain]

I don't know, I imagine an alien species that is very similar to us would have a lot more to fear from humanity. Such a species would probably live on a world similar to ours. Have similar basic needs to ours. Use similar resources to us. And so on.

In other words, they could be considered competition for the things we want.

ALthough that makes logical sense, there'd probably be plenty of resources around without having to visit someone's world. Lots of asteroids and comets around, not sure if people would go back down to a planet once they'd gotten up there.

 

[Jandau]

I always wondered, if humans one day make it to the galactic stage and find a variety of other species, how would we measure up? Generally, we portray ourselves as middle-of-the-road, not too weak, not too strong; not too violent, but not too peaceful; usually fairly reasonable and diplomatic. But what if we reach the stars and discover we're the Klingons? Or even worse, we discover that despite all our internal conflicts, we are actually timid and unthreatening in comparison.

 

[Chimpzy_v1legacy]

ALthough that makes logical sense, there'd probably be plenty of resources around without having to visit someone's world. Lots of asteroids and comets around, not sure if people would go back down to a planet once they'd gotten up there.

There is one very good reason for wanting to go down to a planet:

Living space.

There probably are numerous planets out there that could sustain us, but probably not many that are actually within reach, even with some kind of fast interstellar travel. As human population increases and the available landmass on earth becomes overcrowded or incapable of sustaining us, new land will become an extremely valuable commodity. And because the aliens are very similar to us, those life-sustaining planets are likely to suit their needs as well and perhaps they are faced with the same problem.

Wars have been started over less.

It's all speculation though. The chances of such events happening are very small. We may discover the existence of alien life or perhaps their remains, but with all the hurdles of interstellar travel, odds are we will never actually meet them or they us.

 

[oreso]

There's a great tabletop RPG about this very subject called Three Sixteen: Carnage amongst the stars [http://gregorhutton.com/boxninja/threesixteen/].

Humanity is all enlightened, but there are still malcontents and that troublesome human instinct to go forth and conquer, so they're recruited up and sent into space to take over the universe. And expected to die in the process.

The conceit of the game is Starship Troopers (fighting against aliens you barely understand), but it's a human war of aggression. Parallels with modern conflicts also tend to abound in the game.

 

[Thaluikhain]

There is one very good reason for wanting to go down to a planet:

Living space.

There probably are numerous planets out there that could sustain us, but probably not many that are actually within reach, even with some kind of fast interstellar travel. As human population increases and the available landmass on earth becomes overcrowded or incapable of sustaining us, new land will become an extremely valuable commodity. And because the aliens are very similar to us, those life-sustaining planets are likely to suit their needs as well and perhaps they are faced with the same problem.

Wars have been started over less.

It's all speculation though. The chances of such events happening are very small. We may discover the existence of alien life or perhaps their remains, but with all the hurdles of interstellar travel, odds are we will never actually meet them or they us.

I don't see planets being that valuable. The odds of finding one that just happens to be able to support human life...yeah, don't see that happening. Presumably terraforming is an option, but massively resource intensive.

IMHO, it may well be simpler to make bigger and better space borne facilities once you've left the confine of our own world rather than muck about in the gravity well of a hostile planet.