Hypothetical Nerd Challenge #1

[UsefulPlayer 1]

Your in a plain white room with no doors and a white panel light in the ceiling above. There is a man in a suit sitting in a chair coupled with a table in front of him.

You are tasked by the highest echelons of power to convince this man that you are a nerd, something this man has so far refused to believe.

You have approximately 3.14 minutes to convince him otherwise or the world implodes and Diablo 3 will never be released.

How would you proceed?

I would wave my hand, finger formation reminiscent of Obi-Wan Kenobi, and say "You will believe that I am a nerd."

 

[Kiutu]

Write him a long thought out note of why I am a nerd...in Daedric.
(Ok, I cant yet but I am actually learning it. Mostly by reading scrolls in Morrowind. Elemental Burst: Fire, the daedric wording in it is actually what the Morag Tong writs say.)

 

[Skeleon]

I'd just make the Spock-hand, say "Live Long And Prosper" and sit silently opposite the man for the rest of the 3.14 minutes, with a completely neutral, emotionless expression on my face.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

I'd explain to him the finer workings of opensource rogue-like computer games.

 

[PurpleRain]

Make the Voorish sign, chant to Shub-Niggurath and then tell the man of my borderline erotic fascination for unicorns and owlbears.

 

[Phase_9]

I would kick him in the balls until he gave me Diablo 3!

 

[SharPhoe]

I would point out that 3.14 is the start of Pi, and then I would proceed to name all the digits I know: 3.141592653589793238462622...

 

[TaborMallory]

I would converse with him in 010000100110100101101110011000010111001001111001.

 

[Iron Mal]

I would explain to this man why I think Red Faction is the best game ever made and tell him the backstory I made up about my DnD Paladin and how awesome he is...that would get the job done with 27 seconds left over.

 

[JWAN]

lets see how that chair looks being kicked up his ass

 

[balimuzz]

I would say: "Sup G-Man," and he would let me out immediately.

 

[ygetoff]

I'd beat him with this chair until he could believe I'm queen Elizabeth.

Same here. I'd kick the crap out of him, Diablo 3 be damned.

 

[Leif11234]

I would ask him to make an interrogation roll against my fortitude check. If that didn't work I would attempt to lodge my d20 in his eye.

 

[CoverYourHead]

Tell him why WoW PvP is broken, he'd let me out in 13 seconds at the most.

 

[Sable Gear]

Probbaly sit there humming a medley of songs from Ocarina of Time...

Or give my expansion of Hylian mythology...

Or debate the ethics of the SPARTAN program...

Request a "phone a friend" option to get someone's sworn testimonial, preferably in binary or Klingon or somehting.

And also probably speak entirely in a lateral lisp =P

 

[Jepix]

I would bed forward and speak to him about how humanity is a virus, how the stink is all over me and how the whole matter disgust me so much that I sometimes take out my earplug and wish I was at the source.

 

[Sewer Rat]

Whack him across the head several times until his mind is completely blank and say "I'm a Nerd." so the only thought he is capable of is the fact that I am a nerd.

 

[dmase]

Well i would start to describe the story of the Chrono universe and how exactly el nido suddenly sprang up in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. Explain every character's backstory and how they relate to characters in the first game. He will kill himself before the end of the first minute.... time shifting paradoxes no one except for expierenced gamers truly understand them.