Hypothetical Nerd Challenge #1

[jad4400]

I would give the entire backstory for Master Cheif (yes I've read the Halo books). I figure after two minutes he will get bored and let me out.

 

[TheFacelessOne]

I'd name all the guns in Counter Strike.

And tell him how many SPARTAN IIs died/were discharged after augmentation.

(42)

 

[OrenjiJusu]

I would put on coke bottle glasses, make weird animal noises and explain what each one was, which part of what solar system it comes from, whether it was male or female, how you can tell, and do all this in a lispy nasal voice. afterwards i would take the glasses off and in my normal voice explain why The Night Angel Trilogy is a brilliant book series.(they're good books ok!)

 

[Sewblon]

Explain to him why Grim Fandango is one of humanities greatest achievements and act out select scenes. Or list off my Pokemon collection and explain why Piplup rules.

 

[TheFacelessOne]

Oh, and I would lie to him about the day I made 14,000 g in one day on WoW.

 

[quiet_samurai]

i would sit down and put one foot on the table then I would say

"You are an asshole, if I was Han solo I would shoot you... first."

 

[edinflames]

I would bed forward and speak to him about how humanity is a virus, how the stink is all over me and how the whole matter disgust me so much that I sometimes take out my earplug and wish I was at the source.

The challenge said 'nerd' not 'nihilistic sociopath computer program'

 

[Jonny The Kay]

I'd explain why EA, Nintendo, Gamestop, and the casual gamer are destroying the video game industry.

 

[roastbeefy]

ask him for a pencil and paper and write a plot summary of Warcraft III.

 

[Larenxis]

I would sing the Pokemon theme song (I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was...) and then role a d20 to determine the amount of gold I should get from my performance.

 

[IamSARAhearMYgrr]

I would quote every single thing Talim ever said in Soul Calibur, then would proceed to play step mania on my laptop while singing the Pricard song... I hope that would do it!

 

[edinflames]

Explain how and why the original Star Wars Trilogy was betrayed by the prequel trilogy.

Then explain how and why George Lucas still ends up getting my money.

 

[IxionIndustries]

I'd explain to him why DRM is just a shitload of fuck, whilst placing small memes in each sentence. The utterly toxic amounts of insanity and retardedness would bombard his brain cells, each dying one by one as I constantly shout; "The cake is not a lie! It's over 9000!!!"
Then, when he's sitting in the chair, gurgling in his own saliva, praying to Raptor Jesus, I'll take his suitcase that has the detonator, disarm the bomb, and then leave.

 

[Thegoodfriar]

DIPLO CHECK!!!! Go go d20... aw I failed... go go Bluff Check... I succeed... I tell him I'm a tree.

He leaves the Office.

I steal the only copy of Diablo 3. I am now the king of nerds.

 

[Thegoodfriar]

Oooh, or sing the Bilbo Baggins song by Leonard Nemoy. That's a classic.

Or recite the entire poem of "The Adventures of Tom Bombodil"

 

[Archemetis]

I'd ask him to join me in a game of "Name all the Pokémon you remember".

If that fails, sexual bribery always does the trick.

 

[PurpleRain]

I would sing the Pokemon theme song (I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was...) and then role a d20 to determine the amount of gold I should get from my performance.

Multiclass with a Barbarian and become the greatest metal band on Earth.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

I would sing the Pokemon theme song (I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was...) and then role a d20 to determine the amount of gold I should get from my performance.

Multiclass with a Barbarian and become the greatest metal band on Earth.

Or multiclass to necromancer for the emo scene.

Wait, no. Double multiclass for death metal!

 

[j1-2themax]

Break out into the DK rap from Donkey Kong 64.

 

[ThrobbingEgo]

Break out into the DK rap from Donkey Kong 64.

Why must you assault me with the nineties?