http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Q7kUFS-0XQ&playnext_from=TL&videos=XAOVpdDBLlI
That's how a man does stand-up!
-Played video games all night, then slept instead of going to class.
-Stole my roommate's booze.
-Spilled beer in the kitchen, went to sleep, honestly forgot about it, then yelled at my roommates for spilling beer the next afternoon.
-Set shit on fire in the parking lot
-Shot roommates with BB gun.
-No clean knives, cut ham with combat knife.
-Ordered pizza at 7am after a night of drinking.
-Threw bed at mirrored closet door after drinking. Lied about it to have maintence fix it for free.
-Ate pizza for all 4 meals in one day.
-Tried to strangle roommate with dirty underwear, not sure who's it was.
-Made Ramen with beer instead of water. Amazing.
-Spent the day grilling, while never leaving the pool.
-Answered door in boxers. Later realized sack was hanging out.
-Watched porn in living room. No one complained.
-Punched roommate after he beat me at Halo.
-Took out garbage in boxers and slippers. Felt good.
-Knocked over motorcycle that took my parking space.
-Threw driver of motorcycle into dumpster. I had been drinking.
-Interrupted roommate making out on couch when I came out to make a sandwich. In my boxers.
-Challenged cousin to knife fight, won.
-Guy threw eggs at me, missed. Threw beer bottles at him, direct hit.
-Watched porn while talking to Dad.
-Dad told me my aunt died, continued playing MW2.
-Lost shoes, went to Wal-Mart barefoot. Unpleasant.
-Shaved while taking a shit.
-Cut face while shaving. Smeared blood on face, scared roommate's girlfriend.
-Let roommate's girlfriend punch me in stomach, she hurt herself, couldn't stop laughing.
-Drove to get Burger King, argued with radio whole way.
-Read Dante's Inferno while taking a shit. Very enlightening shit.
That's about it. If you really liked this post go to tukermax.com Not my site, just fucking awesome.
