Well, even though I believe this is a satirical comment, I have to defend PCs.
A number of things that you stated were going bad for consoles are actually advantageous for them in some way, or invalid:
Games having to install before you play them: The reason you don't have to install most games before you play it on a console is because it reads it from the disk. IMO, a game with multiple disks would get mighty annoying on a console, constantly having to swap disks as the game progresses, meanwhilst PCs get it done all at once. Also, if a game has little or no DRM, you can install on multiple PCs and play on all at the same time, as opposed to being forced to buy another version of the game and another console or go splitscreen.
Games Needing Patches to work properly: This is not caused by the PCification of gaming. It is caused because developers got lazy or weren't given enough time by producers. Nothing to do with either consoles or PCs
Pointless Graphic Options: With graphics getting better and better, and console hardware staying the same, it is only natural to have an option balance between performance and graphics for personal preference. The best part is: its an option. The game automatically (or should, it does this with PCs and if it doesn't with consoles, this needs to be PCified) chooses what it thinks are the best settings, and unless you disagree with it, you don't have to change.
Games not working on certain hardware versions: Actually... This is pretty much console exclusive. So long as your PC can run the game, it doesn't matter if its Asus or Alienware: It will run. If you mean OS versions, once again, not PCs fault. Different companies are going to have different OSs so they can release games specifically for that OS to try and coerce people to by the Console to get that OS to play the game.
Software as a service pricing model: I think you mean things like DLC. Well, once again, not PCs fault. Fault of developers and their greed, not of one platform or the other.
Everything being Brown: You already said that this is just because you wanted to blame PCs so, no real argument there anyway.
I know that a number of consolification arguments are equally groundless, however, things like the Duke Nukem 2 weapon limit are the fault of consoles. It was done (stupidly so, a weapon wheel would have worked) as consoles didn't have enough buttons for one for each weapon. This affected PCs due to the limits of Consoles. As most games are developed for consoles first these days, and PCs get a port with nothing except anti-aliasing added, PCs have very little influence over what is done in console games.
A number of things that you stated were going bad for consoles are actually advantageous for them in some way, or invalid:
Games having to install before you play them: The reason you don't have to install most games before you play it on a console is because it reads it from the disk. IMO, a game with multiple disks would get mighty annoying on a console, constantly having to swap disks as the game progresses, meanwhilst PCs get it done all at once. Also, if a game has little or no DRM, you can install on multiple PCs and play on all at the same time, as opposed to being forced to buy another version of the game and another console or go splitscreen.
Games Needing Patches to work properly: This is not caused by the PCification of gaming. It is caused because developers got lazy or weren't given enough time by producers. Nothing to do with either consoles or PCs
Pointless Graphic Options: With graphics getting better and better, and console hardware staying the same, it is only natural to have an option balance between performance and graphics for personal preference. The best part is: its an option. The game automatically (or should, it does this with PCs and if it doesn't with consoles, this needs to be PCified) chooses what it thinks are the best settings, and unless you disagree with it, you don't have to change.
Games not working on certain hardware versions: Actually... This is pretty much console exclusive. So long as your PC can run the game, it doesn't matter if its Asus or Alienware: It will run. If you mean OS versions, once again, not PCs fault. Different companies are going to have different OSs so they can release games specifically for that OS to try and coerce people to by the Console to get that OS to play the game.
Software as a service pricing model: I think you mean things like DLC. Well, once again, not PCs fault. Fault of developers and their greed, not of one platform or the other.
Everything being Brown: You already said that this is just because you wanted to blame PCs so, no real argument there anyway.
I know that a number of consolification arguments are equally groundless, however, things like the Duke Nukem 2 weapon limit are the fault of consoles. It was done (stupidly so, a weapon wheel would have worked) as consoles didn't have enough buttons for one for each weapon. This affected PCs due to the limits of Consoles. As most games are developed for consoles first these days, and PCs get a port with nothing except anti-aliasing added, PCs have very little influence over what is done in console games.
