I can't believe I'm asking this, but...

[Tsukuyomi]

How do people take selfies? How the hell am I supposed to take one?

Reason I ask is that I set up an OKCupid profile awhile back. I've been single for a few years now and while that's good in terms of working through college again, it does get kind of lonely. I resolved to at least try to find some people to talk to or date casually if things go there. The profile isn't too much of a problem, except that I've never been great shakes at talking about myself. The way I grew up kinda squashed my ego, but I figure having to write about it is a chance to help restore it to what it's supposed to be.

What's really got me stumped, though, is that selfie. I just...don't understand how to take a good one. I don't really understand the philosophy behind it either, but I accept that there doesn't need to be one. It's a picture. Of yourself. Pretty straightforward.

It doesn't help that my phone is rather old so taking one is difficult if not impossible. (no camera facing towards me when I hold it normally, so I have to plant my finger on the button, flip the thing around so the screen isn't facing me, and hope for the best.) I know there's the mirror selfie bit, but that's...well, that's a thing, I guess. I know they're meant to be candid but I feel like there's a line between candid and just a bad picture and I'd like to land on the right side of that.

Anyone got any suggestions?

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Crop yourself from a candid/group photo? The best selfie is the one that doesn't look like a selfie.

 

[L. Declis]

My honest to god advice is don't take a selfie; find a friend to take a picture.

Go do something with a friend, and take pictures. Use the best one.

Everyone has a selfie, so it's the people with more interesting photos (doing something) that tend to get attention.

 

[Tsukuyomi]

Thanks folks. I really couldn't believe that I was actually going to ask that question here, but you folks are the only people I know pragmatic and sometimes I think, given the caliber of people around me offline, intelligent enough to understand these kinds of questions when I ask them and give good answers. Thus far everyone else has just stared at me blankly and went "just...just take one."

Getting someone to catch a picture of me actually doing something would probably work best. I know friends who would do it for me, and we are planning to humiliate ourselves by playing Mortal Kombat X sometime soon. Maybe I can get one of them to do it then.

 

[Lilani]

I don't take many selfies myself, but I have some friends that do and my favorite ones of theirs are ones taken out places. Like out at a restaurant, or a park, or just somewhere not indoors and not in a bathroom. My other other piece of advice is look carefully in the background after you take it, just to make sure nobody's photobombing you or something embarrassing isn't back there (like a dog urinating or whatever, lol).

 

[theLadyBugg]

Hey, I'm actually an OKC moderator, so maybe I can help here?

I agree with pps that candid shots of you doing something (even if that something is posing while out and about) are better than selfies. One thing to keep in mind if you're out with friends and taking pictures is that your OKCupid (or any dating site) profile picture has to clearly be of you. If you use a group shot and can't crop it cleanly or in a way that doesn't look weird, you can caption it to identify yourself. Something like, "I'm the one on the left" or "The blue shirt is me" is fine. Also, profiles with multiple pictures tend to fare a bit better. You might want to use group shots where you look better, and a not-your-best portrait just so potential dates/friends can pick you out of the group more easily.

There are a few other rules, i.e. no children in the photo, no close ups of body parts, no nudity - but it doesn't seem like that's an issue for you. Just get out there and be Tsukuyomi, ask a buddy to snap a picture of it, and upload. Don't overthink it. Most people are just waiting for someone else to start an interesting conversation.

Hope this helps!

 

[Tsukuyomi]

Hey, I'm actually an OKC moderator, so maybe I can help here?

I agree with pps that candid shots of you doing something (even if that something is posing while out and about) are better than selfies. One thing to keep in mind if you're out with friends and taking pictures is that your OKCupid (or any dating site) profile picture has to clearly be of you. If you use a group shot and can't crop it cleanly or in a way that doesn't look weird, you can caption it to identify yourself. Something like, "I'm the one on the left" or "The blue shirt is me" is fine. Also, profiles with multiple pictures tend to fare a bit better. You might want to use group shots where you look better, and a not-your-best portrait just so potential dates/friends can pick you out of the group more easily.

There are a few other rules, i.e. no children in the photo, no close ups of body parts, no nudity - but it doesn't seem like that's an issue for you. Just get out there and be Tsukuyomi, ask a buddy to snap a picture of it, and upload. Don't overthink it. Most people are just waiting for someone else to start an interesting conversation.

Hope this helps!

Much appreciated. The whole thing alternates between nerve-wracking and perfectly normal for me, with it staying mostly on the nerve-wracking side. Anything that gives me a guidepost so as to not completely embarrass myself is very helpful.

 

[renegade7]

Yea, never take it yourself. That's how you get lens distortions that warp your face and make you look ass-ugly. It has to do with needing the camera to be a certain distance away.