I can't stop cringing...
- Thread starter Euryalus
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Yeah... But, then again, when I told my friend's that little story, all they asked was "Well, was buying the collection worth it?"Barbas said:Oh, Mr. FPLOON, you salacious debauchee!FPLOON said:
It's no use, my mind blew out years ago.
We basically treat out perversions like they're everyday hobbies... Although, if a movie was based on out conversations, people would cry "hipster foul" in some way, shape, or form...
A couple weeks ago I was at my college's lounge room. Me and a bunch of friends were sitting on a couch playing video games when a couple girls sat on my friends' laps. A rather overweight girl asked me if she could sit on my lap too and before I could really answer she just plopped down on my lap and I felt too awkward to say anything. Not only could I not see the TV past her but I couldn't feel my legs shortly after and her butt was oddly cold which made my imagination go to horrible possibilities.
Not only that, but guys around me started poking her from behind making it seem that I was trying to make advances on her. Needless to say that was not at any point my intent. After I managed to escape, I noticed by pant leg was sparsely moist. It could've just been sweat, or least that's what I tell myself.
Not only that, but guys around me started poking her from behind making it seem that I was trying to make advances on her. Needless to say that was not at any point my intent. After I managed to escape, I noticed by pant leg was sparsely moist. It could've just been sweat, or least that's what I tell myself.
Well its not a fart story but if you want embarrassing I've got you covered. So I'm at a party and I meet this chick right,so we get to talking and having a great time so we decided to ditch the party and go get some denny's. After the meal she asks me If I want to head over to her place (she is a 7/10 if I'm being generous more like a 5.5 but so am I so I agree) So were at her place...warming up,It's time for the final act so to speak and like on Que my little friend go's floppy. My exact words where "O FUCK I WANT A DO OVER"(what was I thinking). She laughs and we start to warm up again, and again on Que my solider fails me.she says that maybe we shouldn't tonight I agree and leave. She tried to get a hold of me the over the next couple of days but I was to embarrassed the return her texts. Now I'm no cassoniva but I've done the deed before and that shit had never happened
For over a year I have been lying about that night feels good to get it off my chest.
For over a year I have been lying about that night feels good to get it off my chest.
You reminded me of another few cringe-worthy moments:Barbas said:
1. Dec. 31st 2000/January 1st 2001 - Decided to kick the new year off with Champagne, Wild Turkey and Southern Comfort. Suffice to say it didn't mix and I ended up tossing cookies into some random person's washing machine. It smelled horrible and I've no idea who's house it was but I didn't get in any trouble... well sorry to whomever had to clean that up or even witness the contents of that washing machine.
2. Later in 2001 I was at a friends house and we decided to get Big Gulps from 7/11 (64oz cups) and fill them about 1/4 Slurpee (mine was blueberry/raspberry mixed) and 3/4 Jack Daniels. I ended up at a party in a drunken headbutting contest with the guy who owned the house. I was 6' even and all of 155 lbs (though I was in damn good shape from walking or biking everywhere and not owning a car plus regular workouts) and the other dude was probably 6'4 and over 250. Well we went back and forth trading headbutts til something snapped in my head and I planted my frontal bone (the front of your skull just above your forehead which is damn hard) into his nose by pure accident hard enough to snap the cartlidge and the vomer (the little slit bone in the middle of your nasal cavity) also knocking him out. Cringe-worthy because I just laid out a guy I didn't know, in his house, drunk as hell and surrounded by people I didn't know. In dead silence I downed my 64oz (3rd serving) of jack and slurpee and gave the crowd a "Goodnight Oakland!!!!" and took the hell off. Later the guy showed up at my doorstep with massive bandages, but he wasn't mad... He actually praised me for knocking him out saying no one had ever done that before. I got respect but damn I still cringe at the thought of being surrounded by friends of a guy who just had his ass handed to him by a total stranger. BTW he showed me the doctors report and x-rays like it was a trophy or something saying "I'm gonna hang this on my wall"
3. Again in 2001 (wow this is the year for major screw-ups eh?) I was at another friend's house learning some [information redacted], oh sorry I can't say that part, anyway I was hanging out and drinking Jack (again) and I blacked out. I came to and I was taking a shower (no clue how I got there) with my clothes on and it was morning which was weird because it was only afternoon when we started drinking. Anyway I come out of the shower, strip down and toss a towel on and walk out and there's my friend with this look in his eye like he was about to kill me... He explained how I went nuts and downed 2 bottles of Jack to myself then proceeded to power puke all over his living room, kitchen and den-space, fall back against the kitchen island and again power puke straight up. I wouldn't have believed the next part but he showed me a stain where I had puked so hard (from a sitting position mind you) all the way up to his loft on the second story. I puked a whole friggin story high... He said if it weren't for the spectacle of watching me stumble about in a puking rage, and how weirdly funny it was, he probably would have killed me. I believe it too, he was a nutcase. I ended up doing some work for him because I felt bad he had to clean up most of my puke (weeks later he opened a CD case and it was also full of congealed puke...). To this day I cringe at that because I feel I totally crossed a line by getting too damn drunk and acting a fool.
It's amazing how many of these sorts of incidences can occur before we actively do anything about them.Imperioratorex Caprae said:
I quit the whole binge-drinking culture after university finished and I don't miss it, but still can think of it and instant cringe-face.
That is the ideal test though, if you think back on the event and cannot stop yourself from pulling a cringe-face.
I've told this one before here, but it's a good one. Early in my college days I was getting out of shape (sports in H.S. but no scholarship for athletics so no need in college.) Home for the summer and got a call from an ex who wanted to see me again. She suggested a "workout" date (don't ever do this unprepared.) She had a membership at a "rich peoples" gym (daddy was rich) and she took me as a guest. The rich guys were for the most part skinny wimps, so I (even as out of shape as I was) was looking like a badass lifting way more than they were...
We get back to her place and she hits the shower while I kick back and read on her bed. Its about the same time she's coming out of her bathroom naked that I realize something.
I can't move. While I read and rested (without properly streching after the first real workout I've had in a year) every muscle had stiffened up (ha ha not in the good way.) When she jumped on me I had a series of muscle cramps from my thighs up to my back and shoulders and arms and back down again.
Its really hard to look cool when you are curled up in a ball whimpering in pain. And then it got worse/even more pathetic. After I explained it all to her, she tried to "let me relax while she did all the work." I was only 19 but had to suffer thru an embarrasing episode of workout related E.D. Even after the cramping subsided, the soreness and general pain meant nothing was happening downstairs.
Feel free to laugh it up, fuzzball.
We get back to her place and she hits the shower while I kick back and read on her bed. Its about the same time she's coming out of her bathroom naked that I realize something.
I can't move. While I read and rested (without properly streching after the first real workout I've had in a year) every muscle had stiffened up (ha ha not in the good way.) When she jumped on me I had a series of muscle cramps from my thighs up to my back and shoulders and arms and back down again.
Its really hard to look cool when you are curled up in a ball whimpering in pain. And then it got worse/even more pathetic. After I explained it all to her, she tried to "let me relax while she did all the work." I was only 19 but had to suffer thru an embarrasing episode of workout related E.D. Even after the cramping subsided, the soreness and general pain meant nothing was happening downstairs.
Feel free to laugh it up, fuzzball.
I was at my friend's house trying to configure his laptop so we could watch DVDs on the big TV , we had like half a dozen people over. Anyway, this was Windows 8 (ungainly UI) running on a laggy computer. I got the media center open, but for some reason it decided to show ALL of the media on the computer. Including some nudes and, shall we say, "videos", he and his girlfriend had taken. On screen. For all to see.
But it gets worse! We manage to get that closed after a brief moment of hilariousness and his girlfriend screaming at me, and there is peace...for a few moments. Because somehow, the pictures re-opened themselves...and would not go away. This happened several times. At one point I tried to minimize the media center to change the resolution, and the computer took this to mean "start playing your friend's homeporn on a 72 inch flat panel with the volume on full blast", because apparently it was just lurking paused in the background.
But it gets worse! We manage to get that closed after a brief moment of hilariousness and his girlfriend screaming at me, and there is peace...for a few moments. Because somehow, the pictures re-opened themselves...and would not go away. This happened several times. At one point I tried to minimize the media center to change the resolution, and the computer took this to mean "start playing your friend's homeporn on a 72 inch flat panel with the volume on full blast", because apparently it was just lurking paused in the background.
OP - Sorry but I laughed so hard a little bit of wee came out!
One moment does spring to mind and it is a source of great shame to this day. All I will say is that I got drunk (no excuse) and said something grossly offensive at what I thought was a discreet volume but quite a lot of people heard me. When I was told what I'd said the next day, I decided to retreat back to my room and hide, such were my levels of cringe.
Something I can share is when I was getting playful with a would-be girlfriend. She was game and started tickling me. At first this was fine but then I realised that a combination of several beers and a severe tickling attack were about to react badly. I begged her to stop but she didn't think I was being serious...until a large, warm stain began to blossom on the front of my jeans. I'll let you guess how far that relationship went...
Amazingly, I still drink beer.
One moment does spring to mind and it is a source of great shame to this day. All I will say is that I got drunk (no excuse) and said something grossly offensive at what I thought was a discreet volume but quite a lot of people heard me. When I was told what I'd said the next day, I decided to retreat back to my room and hide, such were my levels of cringe.
Something I can share is when I was getting playful with a would-be girlfriend. She was game and started tickling me. At first this was fine but then I realised that a combination of several beers and a severe tickling attack were about to react badly. I begged her to stop but she didn't think I was being serious...until a large, warm stain began to blossom on the front of my jeans. I'll let you guess how far that relationship went...
Amazingly, I still drink beer.
I used to live with a cousin of mine, she's an odd one to say the least. She had this habit of randomly licking people on the face...
Well I learned to recognize when she was about to do it & one day as she was sitting right beside me & getting ready to lick me I turned the tables on her & went to lick her on the face....
.... I wasn't quick enough & we ended up licking each other tongues.... mildly awkward, but not the worst thing by far.
Well I learned to recognize when she was about to do it & one day as she was sitting right beside me & getting ready to lick me I turned the tables on her & went to lick her on the face....
.... I wasn't quick enough & we ended up licking each other tongues.... mildly awkward, but not the worst thing by far.
