I don't care.

[Ursus Buckler]

THE GRIPE IS NOT THE POINT READ TO THE END!

I've been thinking. This may also work as good catharsis, but that's not the point of this thread. It kind of all started about two weeks ago, when I had a job interview for Homebase. I've been wanting a job for a while now to get to Uni, but have so far been unsuccessful. Anyway, at this interview is a gorgeous girl that I really hit it off with (she asked for MY number); I play it cool and I think I do well at the interview. There's a moment of relative harmony.

About a week later, I get a letter saying that I've been rejected for Homebase. I'm cool with that, there are other jobs around, I don't need it. It honestly doesn't bother me in the slightest. The next day, one of my friends tells me that one of our closest mates is moving to Dubai, permanently. That hits me mighty hard. Things then take a downward spiral as the gorgeous girl from my interview goes on holiday. This is a problem as I attempt to meet up with her, meaning there's a large gap between us. Over time her texts become more and more short, until she tells me that she's grounded so she can't meet up. By that time I've ceased caring and honestly don't care if I see her again. Everything's stable for less than a week before I failed my driving test yesterday, and I find out that my main group of friends have gone out twice in the past two days without inviting me.

Now, the gripe isn't the subject of this thread. What I'm saying is, I can't seem to care at the moment. I'm watching every shit thing that's happening to me and I just can't bring myself to give a fuck. Everything that was important to me is slipping away and I don't care one iota. What I'm getting at is; it's great to not be over-sensitive for once in my life, but honestly. At what point does it become unhealthy?

 

[tippy2k2]

Dude, I'm 25 single guy living in a studio apartment that you could spit across (granted, it'd be a heck of a spit shot but still). I owe approx. $70,000 because I went to a University to get a piece of paper I was told was needed if I wanted to get anywhere. I just got laid off from a job that paid $10.50 a hour, a job some kid out of high school would be able to get. My best friend just moved to California, half the country away.

Shit happens. Time to put on your adult pants and do something about it. I tried moping on Saturday, the day after I got fired. I realized I should quit being such a damn baby and have started the job search again. It could get worse from here but again, shit happens.

You have two options:

1. Get back on the horse
2. Cry in the dirt because that mean horse kicked you off

Note: I'm not trying to be condescending here. I just want to make sure that's come across.

 

[lobster1077]

You should keep your stupid comments in your pocket, before someone asks you about your sex life. Afterwhich everybody betrays you and you get fed up with this world. Oh hi doggy.

 

[SidingWithTheEnemy]

What I'm getting at is; it's great to not be over-sensitive for once in my life, but honestly. At what point does it become unhealthy?

It becomes unhealthy the moment you are no longer aware of this "non over-sensitivism" (shall we call it apathy-something).

 

[Ursus Buckler]

snip

No, the gripe wasn't the point. The point was at what point does not caring become unhealthy?

 

[PonceyMcTosserFaic]

It is NEVER unhealthy to say "IDGAF" im on SSI living in what could pass for a underground bunker, i don't know anyone in where i live now (i got moved) and i have 0 friends. 0!

but im not sad, not in the slightest. it's because IDGAF.

 

[tippy2k2]

snip

No, the gripe wasn't the point. The point was at what point does not caring become unhealthy?

That's what the second part was for (I added it after I typed everything, so you may not have even seen it).

In my mind, it's unhealthy the second that you sit around and just mope and complain about it. You get the two options and that's it. Start again or cry about it...

Harsh? Probably but no one said life was easy.

 

[Last Hugh Alive]

I used to be similarly paranoid when, at some point, I became the guy in the my group of friends who was forgettable, meaning I didn't (and still aren't, to some extent) get called up by my friends as much and I wouldn't get to go to parties and whatnot because nobody really told me about them.

This used to anger and depress me a couple of years ago, I ended up doing and saying some things that pushed some of my friends away further, when really it was more of a cry for attention. Now, however, and for quite some time now, I've become completely apathetic to it all now. Mind you I did have something of an epiphany that I won't get into, but I've found that apathy actually helps.

The things that used to anger me and make me question myself really have no effect anymore. Sure it still hurts a little at times, but all I have to do is redirect my thoughts, watch a couple of funny Youtube videos or something, and I can easily brush it out of my mind. As a result, I actually feel happier, I've become much easier to be around and a lot less cynical.

My point is, embrace apathy if it helps you cope. I don't know if its healthy, but its a lot better than getting upset over stuff, or thinking about something that confuses and bothers you for too long until it starts to anger you. Happiness is something you have to find, but until then don't let shit bring you down.

 

[Thaluikhain]

Eh...hard to say.

Not everything is supposed to be a massive drama, despite what pop culture says.

Sometimes you just have to say "meh" and get on with it. If it's not bothering you, it doesn't need to. Getting upset about it might be more exciting, but that doesn't make it the best idea.

 

[hannes2]

Whether or not you worry about things that happened in the past, or things that you simply can´t change doesn´t really matter. I´d say it becomes a problem when you can change something, but don´t even try. If, for example, you hadn´t even talked to that girl because you thought it didn´t matter anyway, that´s where I´d draw the line, because you actually start missing out on things. At least that´s what I think.

 

[shogunblade]

THE GRIPE IS NOT THE POINT READ TO THE END!
Now, the gripe isn't the subject of this thread. What I'm saying is, I can't seem to care at the moment. I'm watching every shit thing that's happening to me and I just can't bring myself to give a fuck. Everything that was important to me is slipping away and I don't care one iota. What I'm getting at is; it's great to not be over-sensitive for once in my life, but honestly. At what point does it become unhealthy?

I have stopped caring for the last two months, and eventually, it will take a toll on your life in a way that you will recognize very quickly.

As I don't care much about anything (and a low self-esteem to boot), I do my chores, I go to my classes, I eat because my stomach will hurt me after awhile (I had an ulcer when I was 13), otherwise I'd stop eating and just drink water all the time, maybe I'll have just the bare minimum to get me by in a day. I have a job that pays nicely (to those who don't have jobs, I apologize, just feel I should set the scene), but it's a job where people should come in to work out. Otherwise, I sit in a building for a week not talking to people. Yeah, I get paid, but all I really want is to hear another voice, man or woman, to talk to me.

But I don't play video games for fun anymore, it's now an obligation. I do school work because I cannot afford to fail (which I actually am because of my job keeping me more active than my homework), I feel as though I look like Jabba The Hutt's size (I'm not, I'm actually losing weight), but that's how I feel.

This is what not caring has done to me, and it doesn't help that I continuously question my existence on top of that (seriously, another 50 years of this doesn't feel worth it).

To answer your question: Not caring, you can probably get by for probably two weeks, I would hope. I've been dealing with it for two months, but it doesn't help if you sit in a rut for too long. I've been in a rut since 2008, it's only now that I'm starting to realize that I'm in a rut, but I've gotten to the point where I don't care myself.

I say, have it for two weeks and then improve on yourself. You don't feel like you need to improve your life now, but you should. I bet you might also wonder why you should take advice from someone in the same position, because you should never feel this miserable, and all the my issues stem not just from what I wrote up above, but also on a more personal issue (family issues and my personal issues).

Anyway, two weeks, max. After that, improve yourself, is what I'm trying to say.

 

[Fieldy409_v1legacy]

It becomes unhealthy when your not caring starts affecting practical things(like when you just dont care enough to go outside or work or whatever). Otherwise its incredibly healthy.

 

[dimensional]

But I don't play video games for fun anymore, it's now an obligation.

Obligation to who or what? unless in the unlikely circumstance it is for educational purposes or due to overwhelming outside pressure I would stop playing games if this is the case.

As for original poster I am not sure what they are are saying I am unemployed at the moment for the first time in 7 years and am loving every second seriously there are so many things I can do now that were impossible before and as for friends dicking you about well thats just human nature have you honestly never bad mouthed a friend yourself? or deliberately left someone out?

I am proud to call each one of my select few friends (I only have about 15 close friends) my friend but seriously they are their own people I do not care if they dont invite me to everything they do (or vice versa) in the end no matter how good a friend they are you are on your own so you better get used to it.

OP seems to be in mild denial i.e they started this thread saying I dont care which sort of shows they do on some level which is immediately unhealthy you could easily sort this out by self searching if you do this honestly.

 

[Insanum]

At what point does it become unhealthy?

At the time it does bother you and you try and convince yourself it doesn't. to be honest, you sound like you are there already. Women come and go and by the way you said the girl was grounded i shall assume you're young, so dont worry about them too much.

Jobs are fun, but work is not. Trust me two weeks into a job you'll start to long for your free time.

Your friends may not have asked you out because of previous experiences, or just because they forgot, raise it sarcastically (i.e "Cheers for the invite dave") but then drop it as a joke if they get arsey. you'd be surprised what you can learn via that tactic.

In the long run, chill out.

(P.S Its 4.40am and ive been drinking for 12 hours, so if this has any minor mistakes then please let them slide. cheers)

---

about not caring, lets throw my little story into the mix:

At 16, bad home life (arse stepdad, but ill not go into that, lets just say that reflecting back as an adult 6 year later i can still say he was an arse, not me being a kid), Not getting anything in the way of female attention at all (which may not seem much at 16, but come on 16 year old lads, back me up, it means a lot), and getting told you'll die lonely whilst at work...by your colleagues.

17: Accept Dying lonely (which makes life very easy, kinda takes the social stigma of "MUST FIND SPOUSE"(not meaning to be Emo)) Then Something happened regards someone very very close to you and your world feels like its crashing around you. You cant tell anyone really from fear the person would find out (i cant say nomore)

18: Start going out drinking. Never pull
19: Girlfriend...Didnt last, made me incapable of desperation.
20-Present day: Focus on career, try and blank out the fact friends are going in and out of relationships.

----

So not caring? No. Trying to focus on the positives to not go crazy: Yes.

 

[gallaetha_matt]

You should keep your stupid comments in your pocket, before someone asks you about your sex life. Afterwhich everybody betrays you and you get fed up with this world. Oh hi doggy.

Someone's just watched The Room. Keep your stupid comments in your pocket! You think you've got problems? I'm not in love with Johnny anymore and I got the results back, it's DEFINITELY breast cancer.

(Seriously, how much does that movie rule? It's physically painful to watch, but hilarious at the same time. Like watching a bullfight go bad.)

Anyway, to the OP. You might be suffering from some kind of depression. This comic will help.

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html

It's a legitimate superpower. If you don't care about anything then you can't be hurt by anything, so you're free to take whatever crazy risks you want without worrying about the consequences. I don't mean like, jumping off a roof and not caring if you land (seriously don't do that) I mean like applying for jobs that you're not qualified for and bullshitting your way through the interview, approaching a cute girl completely at random. You cannot be harmed. You're invincible.

Swings and roundabouts though, things could be shitty now, they could be shitty next week or a year from now, but even the shitty times have to end sometimes. Try to hold onto that.

Also watch The Room. It's some funny stuff.

 

[Soviet Steve]

Well total apathy does insulate you from the emotional impact of events, but the events still occur, you are still worse off and due to your apathy you are passive, inactive. You don't try to recover lost ground, and at some point you're going to be in a very deep hole of despair with light becoming a faint memory.

I would recommend taking a proactive approach from the start and set about improving your position. You are unlikely to attain long-term benefits from knowing just how much shit you can get slung in your face before the tears start coming.

 

[CODE-D]

Its always good as a coping mechanism
Dissociation:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dissociation_%28psychology%29

 

[Saltyk]

I kinda know how you feel. About the only things I ever feel these days are anger, depression, or emptiness. Any moments of happiness are generally fleeting. Probably not healthy, but I keep on moving despite that. I could just lie down and die, but I'm not one to give up. Even if I don't see the point myself.

So, basically all you can do is keep on walking on. It might not be the most healthy thing, but it's better than giving up.

 

[TheLoneBeet]

It's unhealthy when you reach the point you've forgotten what it used to be like when you still cared. That or if you're so apathetic that you don't do anything at all. Whichever comes first I guess.

Although, there's no 'real' cure beyond just getting yourself through it by forcing yourself to emotionally invest in some stuff again.