I don't drink, I don't smoke weed, and I'm going to college soon...

[MajorTomServo]

This fall will be my last semester at my local community college. (I went there initially to save money and because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do yet.) In January, I'll get to go to a four year school. For the most part, I'm excited, but I'm really nervous I won't make any friends...

You see, as the thread is titled, I don't drink, smoke, or any other stereotypical college activities. My ideal Friday night is Mario Kart and maybe some Red Bull if things get really crazy. I'm genuinely afraid that no one is going to want to hang out with a square like me. I know I can't be the one and only person like this, but I don't know where I would find like-minded people. It wasn't so much an issue at CC, since a lot of kids I knew from high school were there, but when I go to big boy school I won't have that head start.

So I ask you escapees, just how much of a minority are people like me at your typical university? Since the normal kids meet new people at parties and bars, where do the un-inebriated masses meet? (I'd rather not be the one sober kid at the party; it's not as much fun sitting in the corner with a pepsi watching people make out and puke on the floor.) Any people who are/were in my shoes have any advice?

 

[Frezzato]

Spoiler: Oh wait, you're not going in as a freshman.

I think you should be safe as long as you're not preachy about your non-drinking views. It's easy having a harsh reaction to being surrounded by drunk, violent kids who think that college is supposed to be a time for drinking, sucker punches and date rape (no, that's not a bad joke. I've seen/heard about all of those incidents firsthand). If you're offered a drink just say 'No thanks, I'm good' and relax. Hell, you might be at a party and maybe you'll see a girl that isn't drinking either and you'll have an excuse to go talk to her.

Things have changed a lot since my initial time at school. Now there are anime clubs and definitely more gamers in the world. You'll find like-minded people, it's only a matter of time. Problem is that everybody will be in the same boat, just that nobody wants to appear vulnerable, hence the binge drinking and the whole, "Everybody needs to drink in college!" attitude. Frankly, it's incredibly wasteful, and you shouldn't change or give in to peer pressure.

The only problem is that booze is actually the least of your worries in college. There will likely be people who always want to smoke weed or worse. The last class I attended (I went back) had a girl disappear in the middle of the semester. She showed up for the final and told me she spent the entire previous five weeks smoking weed in the parking lot of the school--and finally showed up only after her boyfriend dumped her. He dumped her because she wanted to try more hardcore drugs like coke. "I was too INTENSE for him!" she said. Seriously, that's what she told me in class.

Don't think you have to change in order to fit in. You're going because you want to be there, and statistically there has to be at least one other student there who will think the same. Good luck, and try to avoid speaking to drunk people face-to-face for extended periods of time. Situations like that tend to be...highly unstable.

If you're going to be hanging out with 3rd year students then you shouldn't have much of a problem. I still think you'll easily find other students who like games. Just relax. You want to be there. And for anyone who can hang around school for two years, they want to be there, too. Binge drinkers are more freshman types.

 

[renegade7]

Don't worry about it. It happens with freshmen all the time. There's always going to be that one retard (or many retards) saying "My views of higher education were shaped by the Van Wilder movies even though they weren't very good so I think everyone should spend college drinking and fucking". They join fraternities and sororities and do exactly that, forming little cliques and telling each other how cool they are for being in Greek life. They talk about how much fun being drunk is and how everyone who doesn't isn't cool. If they were sober they'd understand that that is a circular argument, but of course logic is a little much for the average frat boy/srat girl. They usually stop after freshman year or so when they realize that getting sloppy drunk every weekend isn't actually as cool or fun as everyone said it was and people start finding it a little immature.

That or someone gets arrested and shitcanned and everyone else cleans up their act in response. Many of my junior and senior friends who were partiers in freshman year say that they stopped because they didn't want to end up like so-and-so who got arrested and expelled for getting drunk and sleeping with a 17 year old or something.

Really though, every school is a "party school" and the best thing you can do is just avoid it. Hopefully you'll be on a large campus and will be able to give it a wide berth, although if you're on a small campus you might want to invest in a nice pair of noise cancelling headphones for when you want to work xD

But really, alcohol is the least of your worries in college. If you get hooked on weed or anything worse, you're in way more trouble. Recently one of my floormates and some of his friends were arrested for breaking into rooms to steal and sell prescription medicines. Don't worry about hanging out with students who drink, but if you know anyone who does drugs **leave them alone**. Do not hang out with people like that. Even if you don't partake, people might associate you with them and you don't want that.

 

[Beautiful End]

Honestly, just be yourself. I've been on that same situation several times.

What I normally do is I talk to everyone in a socially acceptable manner-- alright, I'm joking. What I mean is that when I first meet someone, you can kinda tell what kind of people they are. For example, I'm living with 7 other roommates right now and almost immediately I could tell who were the party-goers and who were more down-to-Earth. Still, when I first talked to all of them (Cause, you know, don't burn bridges), I start with broad and safe topics like music, TV and so on. Then I might hint at what I like to do.

For example, last week, I was at work and this guy with a Minecraft shirt walked by and I said "Cool shirt", then I commented to someone else that I wanted that shirt (As an excuse to see if they picked on the subject). The first time I did it, one of my co-workers didn't really understood what was going on; probably not a gamer. The second time I did it, another co-worker said "Well, I never really got into Minecraft", which just allowed me to start talking about my love for videogames and what I like to do on my spare time. That's how I met most of my good friends.

HOWEVER! Like I said, I'm living with 7 other people and I gotta say if someone would have told me a couple of months back that one of them would become something close to my best friend, I would have never believed them. Reason being is because that new friend doesn't like videogames, wears different clothes, has a veeeeeery different background than mine, likes to go out and drink every now and then and so on. I'm sure I might look like a square to my new friend but we get along just fine. Every now and then, I go out for a drink too and I state I don't like to drink much. A good friend doesn't force me to keep drinking or calls me a square. A good friend recognizes I'm much more than that. At the same time, my new friend is interesting, funny, has helped me out a lot and we get along really well, somehow.

What I'm trying to say is: Don't be afraid of meeting new people. Yeah, you're gonna meet a lot of assholes who will probably want to bring you down because you're a "geek" or whatever. They're not worth your time. You'll find some people that may or may not share your same interests but will respect and appreciate you as a friend. Believe me, it's hard to see it right now because that's still not a reality but it will happen. As cliched as it might sound, be yourself.

 

[Trueflame]

I'm sure you'll be fine, there are plenty of similar people in all colleges, and most of the people who do drink and even smoke do it only on occasion and would be similarly content staying sober and doing something fun. But I have a question, do you simply not drink because you aren't a fan, haven't had an opportunity to, or are you adamantly opposed to it? It still won't be a problem even if the latter, but it will play some role in your interaction opportunities.

But anyway, either way, you will most certainly make friends with people, just by going to the same classes, hanging out in the same area, and so on. Many more if you are living on campus, but still plenty even if you are commuting. You'll just have to work at it a little harder then by making sure to spend time in public places like libraries, cafes, and so on.

 

[Goofguy]

Sounds like the perfect time to start!

All joking aside, try to find a community or club that appeals to you. A group with a common interest or shared hobbies is a great place to meet people. No one is out to impress one another, just a group of people wanting to share their interest in something with like minded peers.

 

[MajorTomServo]

But I have a question, do you simply not drink because you aren't a fan, haven't had an opportunity to, or are you adamantly opposed to it? It still won't be a problem even if the latter, but it will play some role in your interaction opportunities.

It's a mix of not liking the taste, the cost, the negative health aspects, and the loss of control. Plus I have a bad family history when it comes to alcoholism, so I'd rather not go out of my way to develop a taste for it...

If other people drink, I'm okay with it. I don't even care if you like to get drunk, just don't do it around me. I just don't want to myself and want to find people that understand that.

 

[Brown Cap]

Buddy - welcome to ME a few months ago.
Freshman in College - White kid from a rural town that didn't know people actually DID that stuff in college when I came into the atmosphere.

Yes, you're exposed to that crap. Yes, it will be blatantly obvious to others that you don't do it either.
Yes, there are shit ton of people just like you. I have been in a very similar situation and have found that it works out and you find the right people to spend time with pretty quickly.


You'll be fine, buddy - chin up.

 

[Trueflame]

It's a mix of not liking the taste, the cost, the negative health aspects, and the loss of control. Plus I have a bad family history when it comes to alcoholism, so I'd rather not go out of my way to develop a taste for it...

If other people drink, I'm okay with it. I don't even care if you like to get drunk, just don't do it around me. I just don't want to myself and want to find people that understand that.

Okay, that's fair. As I said before, I don't think it will be any sort of problem. You'll likely feel pressured to drink, because plenty of people do treat it like the thing to do while in college, but they won't make fun of you or dislike you or something for not doing it. Plenty of people either don't drink at all, or drink only rarely and in moderation. I'm in the latter category, but I have friends who don't drink at all, and other friends who drink and smoke half the week, as well as everything in between.

 

[Batou667]

So I ask you escapees, just how much of a minority are people like me at your typical university? Since the normal kids meet new people at parties and bars, where do the un-inebriated masses meet? (I'd rather not be the one sober kid at the party; it's not as much fun sitting in the corner with a pepsi watching people make out and puke on the floor.) Any people who are/were in my shoes have any advice?

You have a skewed view of what a university is actually like. It's not all jocks, drunken initiation rituals, food fights in the cafeteria and naked girls as far as the eye can see, like some cliche'd college movie.

Yes, drinking culture is a fairly big thing, but there are plenty of people at universities who definitely aren't into that. My best advice is to spread your net wide, join as many societies as you can reasonably commit to (and then a few more for good measure, since you won't like some of them and will drop out). Join a sports club. Learn a language. Join the gospel society. You'll meet all kinds of people.

Have a blast and don't forget to read a book now and again!

 

[Superlative]

But I have a question, do you simply not drink because you aren't a fan, haven't had an opportunity to, or are you adamantly opposed to it? It still won't be a problem even if the latter, but it will play some role in your interaction opportunities.

It's a mix of not liking the taste, the cost, the negative health aspects, and the loss of control. Plus I have a bad family history when it comes to alcoholism, so I'd rather not go out of my way to develop a taste for it...

If other people drink, I'm okay with it. I don't even care if you like to get drunk, just don't do it around me. I just don't want to myself and want to find people that understand that.

Like others have said before, your going to be fine.

I've been at uni for nearly 6 years (4 in Undergrad, 2 for a Masters)and I've yet to smoke a single joint but I still managed to make a slew of friends and a big ole heap of warm acquaintances.

When it comes to booze, people will either respect or pay no mind to you not drinking as long as you don't draw too much attention to it yourself. Being in the US, booze was legally off limits to me for a while so that, combined with a nasty family history with alcohol, kept me away from the stuff still i turned 21. even now, at 24, I rarely drink outside of a social setting.

As for making friends, just remember to be friendly yourself. talk to your neighbors, classmates, and people you run into often. Joining clubs is also a good way meet people quickly. When i was in undergrad i joined SGA and made a lot of friends though it, many of whom weren't nerds but shared other interests like philosophy or politics.

 

[mokes310]

This fall will be my last semester at my local community college. (I went there initially to save money and because I wasn't sure what I wanted to do yet.).../quote]

Quuite possibly the single smartest thing you could have done. You have saved a fantastic amount of coin already. Bravo for having a proper head on your shoulders!

OT: Don't worry man, uni is literally FILLED with people who participate in activities ranging from A-Z. I had buddies who didn't drink/smoke/etc, and they had their own circle of friends who had a great time, and I kid you not, literally every day they were there.

One thing I will suggest is living in a dorm, even if you only do it for a semester. Living in a dorm is like living in a zoo. You'll meet tons of people, and have fantastically insanse stories to tell your future grandkids.

Enjoy uni, cuz after this, it's time to pay the bills, and...ain't nobody got time for that!

 

[Fappy]

I don't drink or smoke and had a perfectly fine college experience. If people offer something to you and ask you why when you say no, just give them your reason. Also, unless you are okay with doing it you should let your friends know that just because you don't drink it doesn't mean you are their personal DD.

 

[Lilani]

So I ask you escapees, just how much of a minority are people like me at your typical university? Since the normal kids meet new people at parties and bars, where do the un-inebriated masses meet? (I'd rather not be the one sober kid at the party; it's not as much fun sitting in the corner with a pepsi watching people make out and puke on the floor.) Any people who are/were in my shoes have any advice?

I've found the best way to meet new people without being asked to do a keg stand is clubs. Not nightclubs, like school clubs. Activities clubs. Universities and 4-year schools are usually filled to the brim with clubs, so do a bit of research and find some you'd like to stop by. The great thing about meeting people in clubs is you already know you have at least one thing in common. If you go to the anime club, you're going to meet people who--if nothing else--like anime. If you go to the art club, you're going to meet people who like art. If you go to the tabletop games club, you're going to meet people who like tabletop games. Since these clubs usually take place on school grounds and are usually affiliated with the university through something like a faculty advisor, they are held to certain standards so the chances of the meetings beginning with beer pong and ending with a mystery hookah are very slim.

 

[Random Argument Man]

You don't have to drink to have a good time and I certainly don't suggest taking up smoking.

Not drinking will be harder for some to understand, but they will after a while. As for smoking, I started, I continued, I wished that I didn't live in stressful times to have those two first cold turkey weeks.

In short, be yourself. People who spend too much time drinking rather than studying always drop out after a while anyway.

 

[rutger5000]

I'd say don't be so hard on parties and party goers. If you know why you don't drink and don't smoke then it okay and you need not to make a problem about that. That doesn't mean you can't have an awesome time at parties where others are getting drunk and stoned. Kay stoned people can be a bit of a bore, but drunk people are usually a good laugh.
Personally I love going to parties where a huge precentage of the audience is using a party drug. It's not for me, but the people are really a lot of fun, and at the risk of sounding like a hippy, you can really ride along their fibe.

 

[Alien93]

I don't smoke and I rarely drink and i'm nearly a year into uni. But then again I do still live at home.

 

[Sandernista]

So I ask you escapees, just how much of a minority are people like me at your typical university? Since the normal kids meet new people at parties and bars, where do the un-inebriated masses meet? (I'd rather not be the one sober kid at the party; it's not as much fun sitting in the corner with a pepsi watching people make out and puke on the floor.) Any people who are/were in my shoes have any advice?

Oh definitely the minority, but I wouldn't worry too much about it. I got to a school notorious for our drinking and drug culture and there are a few who just aren't into it. They still go to the parties and chill and I haven't seen anyone give anyone a hard time.

 

[Longstreet]

I am going to assume that you are of drinking age, since i got fuck all clue how old you are when you end community college.

But by then (guessing you are 21) No one really cares who drinks what so don't worry bout it. Just go out, have a nice time and drink a coke.

Should you decide to try alcohol, don;t start with tequila (or hell, don't end with it either)

If you want to try smoking weed, go ahead. I do not recommend to start of with a weed / hash mix though, or take more than a sip (or however you call it) cuz that will fuck you up quick.


Point; people don't care what you do, if you want to do it, go ahead but try to be a bit careful, otherwise tell em to sod off if they continue to press you for it.

 

[Musette]

I go to a college that is considered a bit of a party school in some regards, but even though lots of people to out and drink doesn't mean that everybody does. For me, I know very few people in my major that go out and party or get ridiculously drunk or anything. I have friends who drink, but they never pressure me to do the same and they drink pretty responsibly, so I've never had to baby-sit or anything like that. I don't drink for what appears to be similar reasons to yours, particularly the family history looming over my shoulder, and I guess the best thing to say is to politely refuse offers for drinks and try not to let anybody try and pester you into doing something you're not interested in doing.

If there is anything that feels particularly isolating to me, it's just how different I felt compared to most of the other females around me. I spent a good deal of my life surrounded by people that aren't stereotypically female at all, so when I suddenly did in college, I had no way to relate to them, including the people I'm living with now. For me, that's the part that sucked, but I fortunately still have made male friends and have enough to talk about with other female people in my major that I can form the occasional friendship there too.

The way I get into video games also doesn't help me socially because I don't keep up with knew releases or play multiplayer much at all, but I know that there are gamer groups in many colleges, which can be a good way to make friends if that is more your pace.