I don't know if I even need advice, I think I just need to vent.

[hazabaza1]

Warning: Incoming first world problems.

I was hanging out with a few mates yesterday, me(17) , a girl(18) , and a few other guys(1 aged 18 the other 2 17). We've never really been a "rebellious group" I guess. A few of them have got piercings and most of us have some sort of weird family difficulties, but whatever.

We were all walking back from the shop to go back to the girl's house when she takes out a cigarette. Fairly normal for an 18 year old, but in our group, it was weird. Ever since, I've been feeling pretty messed up.
Whenever I think of her smoking I feel like I want to puke. I know I'm not ill, so that's not it. I don't even know why I do. I have nothing against smokers, and I know she won't just drop down dead. It's making me feel sick, and unless I distract myself it's all I can think about.

Fuck, I dunno. Maybe it's just shock, maybe it's due to past biases, whatever. I don't know. Hopefully I'll feel better after posting this, maybe not, but I can't talk to anyone else about it because everyone I know either already knows or I've promised not to tell.

Thanks for letting me vent, guys.

 

[DoPo]

I know that feeling. It's when a friend does something you've never thought they'd do. Heck, I had a meeting with my ex-schoolmates and one girl started smoking. I never imagined her smoking and it really freaked me up.

Just so you know, you're not abnormal.

 

[hazabaza1]

I know that feeling. It's when a friend does something you've never thought they'd do. Heck, I had a meeting with my ex-schoolmates and one girl started smoking. I never imagined her smoking and it really freaked me up.

Just so you know, you're not abnormal.

That's good to know, I guess.
Thanks, man. It all just seems messed up, y'know?

 

[Phasmal]

This post is really weird.

What exactly about it is upsetting? Your profile says you live in the UK, so smoking at 18 is perfectly legal and normal here. Is it because you don't think anyone else knows?
(I live in the UK and am a non-smoker by the way).
Perhaps you are a bit too sensitive?

 

[hazabaza1]

This post is really weird.

What exactly about it is upsetting? Your profile says you live in the UK, so smoking at 18 is perfectly legal and normal here. Is it because you don't think anyone else knows?
(I live in the UK and am a non-smoker by the way).
Perhaps you are a bit too sensitive?

TO be honest, I don't know.
It might just be a shock, it might be that she's reminding me of the path that my brother took (has not ended very well) or maybe I am just sensitive since I've never really had a smoking friend before.
But again, I dunno.

 

[Friendly Lich]

If the experience you had with your brother was traumatic it could defiantly effect YOU if you are close to that person.

 

[Rakun Man]

I can say I've had similiar experiences. I'm a non-smoker, and it was a big suprise when a lot of my friends pulled out a smoke, and me to discover that they've been doing it for awhile.
It can be a tricky subject to approach, as you can easily come of as condescending towards your friends. But basically, I respect that it is their decision, and they are considerate when smoking, as it is incredibly irrating for me (asthma).
Also, offer support if they ever they want to quit. Quitting can be painful both mentally and physically, and as non-smokers, it can be difficult to truly imagine the effects of withdrawal.

 

[renegade7]

It's the whole growing up thing...I had a similar experience...when you find out that the person you thought was a complete straight arrow, and then you find out they smoke/drink/sleep around, it's just weird...it wasn't traumatic or sickening for me but I just could not look at some of my friends the same way again.

 

[arnoldthebird]

A similar thing happened to me lately, you think you know someone and all of a sudden they change. It's not a nice feeling, makes you feel terrible. Well, it made me feel pretty bad. But I shall say the same thing as DoPo, what you are feeling is not abnormal...I do know the feeling.

 

[jg21me]

Your not abnormal...I felt the same way when my gamer buddy started smoking. It still saddens me that he does.