I don't like babies

[Relish in Chaos]

I don?t like babies either. I find the majority of them annoying worthless lumps of mass that do nothing more than make loud and high-pitched noises, cry, vomit, and soil themselves. I hate it when friends, family and celebrities think that you?re meant to care about their blank-faced sprog as much as they are. No, I don?t want to listen to your kid gurgling over the phone, or watch ?Charlie bit my finger? for the millionth time on a viral video compilation programme. I don?t care about any of that shit, and if I came here to talk to you, I came here to talk to you.

I know only one baby that I can honestly say I find relatively cute. They?re my friends? son, and it?s fairly amusing and entertaining to watch him play around with objects and how he reacts to certain things. And luckily, he rarely ever cries. Or speaks. I don't think he even can speak. He's, like, 15 months old, so I guess that's understandable.

To be honest, I have the predisposition to dislike most humans below the age of 14 anyway.

 

[IamLEAM1983]

Toddlers are okay. Infants, though? I don't hate them - they're just annoying. They exist to eat, sleep, poop, piss, cry and sleep some more. Toddlers at least give you the sense that their brain's finally booted up and that they're eager to try things out, to communicate.

If only that only required a firmware update, and not a full year of near-constant mothering and interaction. That and the sleepless nights...

Like, BOOP! "Toddler Update Successfully Installed. System will restart overnight. Get ready for it, now the real and far less annoying fun begins."

 

[Kyr Knightbane]

I had a response to this thread and people that thought like you do. But in retrospect if i had posted it, i would most likely be banned.

So in short:

Good for you, have a cookie, please don't ever have sex. Unless you sterilize yourself.

Thank you.