I find myself...

[Mr. Google]

I find myself not giving a shit about what people think of me recently. As I have described to people it's not that I don't want people to like me or that I don't even want to be liked, it's that if someone is mad at me, doesn't like me, what ever else, then I don't really care. Right now one of my best friends is mad at me for something that was...really stupid and honestly not my fault at all but I'm not here to get into that, just saying that they've been furious at me for something really dumb for a month now and I have made no attempt to say sorry or even bother trying to make things better. I've gotten tired of trying to make people like me or stop disliking me. I have more important things in my life and it's much easier to be less caring. How're you with this? Are you a person who needs people to like them or can you shed people like old clothes?

Edit: Since a lot of people are commenting on the whole fight thing Ill just explain but I dont want the topic of this to be about that just want people to get what I mean.
So my friend Missy got in a fight with her best friend Mallory because Mallory made out with her old ex boyfriend (Her own not Missy's). Missy felt the need to shout about this to not just me but 10 of our friends who are all friends with Mallory. I asked Missy in a quite and subtle way (as I asked people later if I sounded arrogant who were there) If she thought it was a good idea to be talking about this to all of our friends as it wasn't any of our problems and I know what it's like to be in that situation and then regret telling everyone later. She then started crying and screaming just leave. This is high school by the way so yeah I just walked away and let it be. I thought shed be over it by now seeing as I didn't do much but she is still angry at me. And now this story is longer than the actual topic!

 

[Dark Knifer]

I'd say it depends on the people you find yourself around. Generally, I don't take much care into what others think, but to those closest to me, their opinions are very important. The good thing is, those people are ones who like me for who I am, so it's no effort to make them like me. They just do.

Basically, the majority doesn't matter at all, but you should be able to find a few select individuals who you care about, they care for you in return and what they think matters, but only for those few. If you find people like that then it makes life easier, least for me. You know when you find them when you find yourself going out of your way for them and being happy about it and visa versa.

 

[Tonimata]

I agree with Dark Knifer, I've found myself shedding people with INCREDIBLE ease (to the point that I exited my school on the day of the last exam by leaving a poster that in the common room that read "So long and thanks for all your bullshit, suckers"), whereas other people I wish I could stop thinking about (seriously, I've spent entire weeks sleepless because of this. WEEKS!).

However, I'm the kind that wishes people would stop caring about me so much. I'm not saying I can't be a good person, but most of the time, I'm an unsympathetic, cold, unfeeling man that couldn't care less about your cancer or about your difficulties if you weren't willing to push them all up and over in my face. I tend to find people care too much for me for their own good, and I can't find the courage to outright tell them that I want them away, that I don't want their help, much as I might actually need it.

I'm a complicated person, let's leave it at that.

 

[Crazy]

I think there's something right about that mind-set.

 

[Vault101]

theres a differece between "not caring what others think of you" and "not caring about other people"

first of all to an extent I stoped caring what others thourght...over smaller things, like I dont hide the fact that Im obssessed with games or that I have completley geeked out everything I own *cough*actionfigures*cough*

and the fact that...I actually dont like socilising, I stoped trying to force myself and in alot of ways Im alot happyer

that said, I dont really have freinds...I did have frends but sort of fell off their radar, its a habit I have, I think part of that is not many of them share similar interests...that said I dont think having similar interests has to be a prerequisit..its just I dont like partys or clubbing...though perhaps I should at least tryand get back into the social game

but yeah, I like to think I care more or less about other people (but no I dont care about how drunk you and your freinds got or who whats-his-name fucked) because it scares me that somone might lack empathy...like If I need somone elses help

 

[Rawne1980]

I've never cared what people think of me.

I'm not a cynical people hater or anything like that I just don't care how people view me.

As long as i'm happy with myself and my wife and kids fear ... er ... love, yes thats what I meant .. love, me then thats all that matters.

It's never mattered how other people see me I am never going to change myself for anyone else so balls to them.

They can either like me or hate me it won't change anything in my life so it doesn't matter in the slightest.

It doesn't make you a bad person for feeling like that or any different to a lot of others. Quite a lot of people are like that. They don't give a shit what other people think of them because at the end of the day, it doesn't make any difference.

Some people need to be liked and some don't mind. Some are over sensitive about it while others are laid back.

Not everyone is going to like a person.

 

[Mr. Google]

theres a differece between "not caring what others think of you" and "not caring about other people"

first of all to an extent I stoped caring what others thourght...over smaller things, like I dont hide the fact that Im obssessed with games or that I have completley geeked out everything I own *cough*actionfigures*cough*

and the fact that...I actually dont like socilising, I stoped trying to force myself and in alot of ways Im alot happyer

that said, I dont really have freinds...I did have frends but sort of fell off their radar, its a habit I have, I think part of that is not many of them share similar interests...that said I dont think having similar interests has to be a prerequisit..its just I dont like partys or clubbing...though perhaps I should at least tryand get back into the social game

but yeah, I like to think I care more or less about other people (but no I dont care about how drunk you and your freinds got or who whats-his-name fucked) because it scares me that somone might lack empathy...like If I need somone elses help

Well to clarify then I do care about people. I have a lot of friends and a good amount of close friends but if those people were to get mad at me over something stupid and never talk to me again I have the ability to not lose sleep over it.

 

[Mr. Google]

I'd say it depends on the people you find yourself around. Generally, I don't take much care into what others think, but to those closest to me, their opinions are very important. The good thing is, those people are ones who like me for who I am, so it's no effort to make them like me. They just do.

Basically, the majority doesn't matter at all, but you should be able to find a few select individuals who you care about, they care for you in return and what they think matters, but only for those few. If you find people like that then it makes life easier, least for me. You know when you find them when you find yourself going out of your way for them and being happy about it and visa versa.

Yeah see thats how it is. I mean if some people just stopped liking me then I'd show emotion over it. Confusion, anger, or sadness. But I wouldnt do anything I could to get them back in my life. If they don't like something I did or said then it is their problem and Im not going to apologize or change my opinion for them. I am my own person and if they dont like who that person is then they arent a friend

 

[VoidWanderer]

I have stopped caring whether people like me or not. If they like me fine, if not /shrug.

Makes life a lot simpler.

 

[Dr Druza]

There are two versions of yourself: Your version, and everybody else's version. Each decision you make affects one or both of these versions. You have to find a balance between what YOU want and what OTHERS want. You might wanna wear pajama pants to school tomorrow, but you probably wouldn't do that for a job interview, right?

Also, if he is your best friend, he'll drop it in favor of your friendship. I know that's kinda cliche, but its so true. Just tell him "Dude, lets just agree to disagree. I wanna be friends." If he doesn't like that, then he doesn't like you. In my experience, people who don't treat their friends well usually only have them for the ego/social-status boost that comes from having someone who just lets them do as they please.
On the other hand though, it really sucks to lose someone you liked. Sometimes you gotta just let them win, and hope they were just being a dick temporarily. If its as "dumb" and "stupid" as you say, I'm sure you would have no problem letting him have this one.

Its 2AM and this post makes sense.

 

[Nouw]

It's actually good to not care, but beware OP. The extreme is somewhere you don't want to go to.

 

[Hisshiss]

Caring what someone that can offer you nothing thinks of you is a waste of time. Appeal to the people you need to like you, be it for romance, friendship, or free shit. And don't do thinks to fuck up other peoples day, otherwise go crazy xD.

 

[Dark Knifer]

I'd say it depends on the people you find yourself around. Generally, I don't take much care into what others think, but to those closest to me, their opinions are very important. The good thing is, those people are ones who like me for who I am, so it's no effort to make them like me. They just do.

Basically, the majority doesn't matter at all, but you should be able to find a few select individuals who you care about, they care for you in return and what they think matters, but only for those few. If you find people like that then it makes life easier, least for me. You know when you find them when you find yourself going out of your way for them and being happy about it and visa versa.

Yeah see thats how it is. I mean if some people just stopped liking me then I'd show emotion over it. Confusion, anger, or sadness. But I wouldnt do anything I could to get them back in my life. If they don't like something I did or said then it is their problem and Im not going to apologize or change my opinion for them. I am my own person and if they dont like who that person is then they arent a friend

That sounds perfectly logical to me, assuming you aren't a massive douche or any of the like but I doubt that. Yeah, it's good to not need people until you find some truly great people to be friends with. I learned that the hard way, but now all's well.

 

[Hisshiss]

Caring what someone that can offer you nothing thinks of you is a waste of time. Appeal to the people you need to like you, be it for romance, friendship, or free shit. And don't do thinks to fuck up other peoples day, otherwise go crazy xD.

Sounds kind of manipulative. I mean really, appeal to them if you need something from them? That sounds kind of dishonest.

It's not really. Having people like you and treating people well are different, and as I said, as long as your life style doesnt hurt others it doesnt really matter what they think of you as a person.

Otherwise Im just talking about making your friends think your cool, or being appealing to a dating prospect. Which are just things you have to do unless those connections just fall into your lap.

 

[Mr. Google]

I'd say it depends on the people you find yourself around. Generally, I don't take much care into what others think, but to those closest to me, their opinions are very important. The good thing is, those people are ones who like me for who I am, so it's no effort to make them like me. They just do.

Basically, the majority doesn't matter at all, but you should be able to find a few select individuals who you care about, they care for you in return and what they think matters, but only for those few. If you find people like that then it makes life easier, least for me. You know when you find them when you find yourself going out of your way for them and being happy about it and visa versa.

Yeah see thats how it is. I mean if some people just stopped liking me then I'd show emotion over it. Confusion, anger, or sadness. But I wouldnt do anything I could to get them back in my life. If they don't like something I did or said then it is their problem and Im not going to apologize or change my opinion for them. I am my own person and if they dont like who that person is then they arent a friend

That sounds perfectly logical to me, assuming you aren't a massive douche or any of the like but I doubt that. Yeah, it's good to not need people until you find some truly great people to be friends with. I learned that the hard way, but now all's well.

Yeah Im definitely not a massive douche though if I dont like you I will be perfectly honest with the people which is sometimes worse than anything else I could come up with. but in the case with my friend they were actually being the terrible person thats again why I have no reason to get them back into my life

 

[Tiger King]

I find myself not giving a shit about what people think of me recently. As I have described to people it's not that I don't want people to like me or that I don't even want to be liked, it's that if someone is mad at me, doesn't like me, what ever else, then I don't really care. Right now one of my best friends is mad at me for something that was...really stupid and honestly not my fault at all but I'm not here to get into that, just saying that they've been furious at me for something really dumb for a month now and I have made no attempt to say sorry or even bother trying to make things better. I've gotten tired of trying to make people like me or stop disliking me. I have more important things in my life and it's much easier to be less caring. How're you with this? Are you a person who needs people to like them or can you shed people like old clothes?

i took on that attitude a few years back. it dawned on me that 'trying to be nice to people to keep the peace' leaves you looking like a soft touch and just invites people to attack you. usualy because they are bored and want 'a laugh' or to get you to do them a 'favour'

so i just keep myself to myself nowadays and go out of my way for nobody but my gf.

its quite an eye opener as you realise people you thought were your friend, actualy just want 'favours' and when you dont comply they start giving off passive aggressive comments and actions.

i feel sad ive been forced to give up some compassion towards others but its good to not be harrassed.

 

[McMullen]

I used to be of that opinion until I found out that other people's opinion of you can potentially have huge consequences for the course of your life. One of the most important things I've realized in becoming an adult is that humans are social creatures and, by themselves, don't amount to much. Even inspiring historical figures had to convince people to follow or support them. Even the things that you can accomplish on your own are very often only enabled by work that has been done by others. If you piss off those who are in a position to help you reach your potential, you won't make nearly as much progress in life as you would have otherwise.

So be careful.

 

[Tiger King]

I used to be of that opinion until I found out that other people's opinion of you can potentially have huge consequences for the course of your life. One of the most important things I've realized in becoming an adult is that humans are social creatures and, by themselves, don't amount to much. Even inspiring historical figures had to convince people to follow or support them. Even the things that you can accomplish on your own are very often only enabled by work that has been done by others. If you piss off those who are in a position to help you reach your potential, you won't make nearly as much progress in life as you would have otherwise.

So be careful.

this is a good point, learn from your elders and those with experience etc but i think you'll understand when i say, some people you run into in life, really arent worth listening to.