I give up.

[IpunchFaces]

One word.

CONFIDENCE.

Walk with a straight back. Head up and eyes facing the world ahead. Walk with purpose. You will exude confidence. The next step is to believe in it. Talk to people on the bus, store, the cashier at the counter, anyone. Little conversations will build up your confidence and social skills to progress to the more daunting task of talking and asking a girl you've just met for her number. This confidence will seep to your working life and everyday life. It will make your life infinitely better. If anyone rejects your conversation, don't take it personally. Cest la vie. Move on. Remember that not every fruit on the tree of life is ripe when the harvest comes.

Be confident. And EVERYTHING will snowball from there.

 

[weker]

Jimmy Carr lost his at 26 so its really nothing to worry about.
Apart from that confidence is everything (tho there will be some out there that like that sort of thing)
I myself suffered from SPD which made me overly shy a timid, but now growing out of that has caused me to be too mature.
I am hoping when I go to Stafford uni (which I have been told it is sadly a sausage fest...) I will meet more people who are on the same wavelength.

 

[putowtin]

I went thought something like this a few months ago. You feel like you can?t do anything but don?t know how to fix it. I?m not saying my solution will work for everyone but it might point you in the right direction.

I went out got a hair cut (long brown hair that went all down my back to short purple punk chic) Got the tattoo I?d been talking about for years and kicked myself up the arse!

Do something daring (I say daring not get drunk and get arrested stupid) and learn to live your life how you want to live it.

 

[XHolySmokesX]

1) I am a 25 year old virgin.

Mate, it may seem shit now, but just becasue your a 25 yr old virgin doesn't mean you need to be a 26 year old virgin next year.

I'm not going to bore you with all that "you havn't found the right person" crap becasue thats just a phrase to make people feel better. Getting dates, sexual partners and relationships is a skill, and just like learning guitar, anyone can master it if they put the time in and learn how it's done.

Don't give up hope mate, I bet you anything, when you get this sorted, you will be ahppier than you ever have been.

2) I have a mental onset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (repetitive tasks basically, routine/stereotyped thinking, other strange compulsions).

If it's bothering you so much, you should get it sorted. There are hundreds of experts who can help you get this sorted. I peronally have never experienced a strong case of OCD, but i did study psychology at A level, and learnt enough to know that there is no psychological disorder that cannot be treated, and luckily for you OCD is something that, if treated right, and be totally removed from your psyche. There is hope yet mate. =)

3) I am seldom out and about. My social circles have always been limited.

I'm in the same situation, granted it's mostly becasue my mates never have any money, but my mates are few in number, but it doesn't bother me anymore.

I used to feel like a total loser that noone wanted to hang around with, at one point in my life, i was even at the stage where i thought i was such a burden to the people around me that everyone else would be better off if i just got it over with and topped myself, but i had an epiphany, and it made me realise that all these thoughts were in my head.

The thoughts i was having, were what was making the people around me, not connect with me on a deep level. I was basically pushing them away becasue i thought they didn't want me, and that's a hell of a self fulfilling prophecy for ya.

What you need to do is take some time to think about yourself and who you are. Reminisce over the strnegths of your personality, and whats causing you to feel so negatively about yourself. Doing this wont immediately improve your social life, but it will positively explode your self image and drastically improve your happiness, and in the long run, this will attract other people to you becasue they will want to 'join in' with your positivety.

4) I...have absolutely no clue what to do. At all. Flirt, open up conversations out of this air...summoning the damn balls to do so.

A large preportion of guys alive today don't have a clue about what to do in a pick-up/dating situation, and balls generally are one of the main reasons why they don't learn.

It seems to me that anytime your in a situation with a woman who's back doors you would love to smash in, so to speak, you treat the situation with tremendous importance and worry about how the girl is going to react to you. You then get so wound up in your own mind that you convince yourself that this girl isn't going to like you. Then just as you expected it doesn't work out. STOP IT.

I've been there, done that got the T-shirt, and the T-shirt sucks, it's full of whole and stuff, no good.

Bascically you need to realise that 98% of women you meet, or could meet, are open to having a relationship with you, but you have to be the right stuff to actually get the date. Women want a man that's satisfied with his own life, and doesn't put her on a pedestal of grandure to get her attention.

What you need to do is treat women like your mates, if a random woman comes over to you, make jokes about her, and don't worry that she'll think your a dick for doing so, becasue the truth is that being a 'funny dickhead' so to speak is what attracts women, that why you always see women hanging around with the big hard nut guy that treats her like shit, but unlike those guys, you now have the advantage of knowing that you can be like them without treating your woman like shit, and that's the kinda stuff that gets and keeps you ANY woman


Mate ill send you a link to a site that will turn your life around.

 

[Vault101]

aw come on glasses arnt ALWAYS bad (there are worse things)

anyway as for how to dress...to me it always baffles me why some guys cant get it right...from my perepective its SO effing simple, a decnt pair of jeans...and a decent t-shirt..thats it as a starting point

I mean try being a girl and getitng the right clothes..its a fucking nightmare (no really I'd say over half of my anxiety about life came from that) I always thourght If I were a guy I would have a feild day

but as a girl......generally I have no bloody clue (well more or less, I stick with what I like, like fashion be damned I like converse sneakers! and hoodies)

I don't think you have to think more about what you wear just because you're female. Just wear what you want. I even prefer the look of girls that isn't like they're showing off, like they're just wearing casual clothes. I get a weird feeling from girls who dress stereotypically girly that makes me think I wouldn't like them very much. I don't like it when people express fashion as important.

I know that, anyay I found I just buy my own cloths without the imput of other's and its fine

its jsut that I'm sure most guys here wouldnt really kno much about female fashion (or mabye even fashion in general, I dont like to generalize however)

but then Imagine if you ARE a girl so you HAVE to try...

anyway I stoped caring and life has been alot easyer (thats not to say I dont care about my apearence, quite the oposite) though for example its its winter I dont like boots..so rather than have my feet freeze I go with my sneakers...and I'm happy!

 

[SsilverR]

"Love" and "sex" are so overhyped nowadays that you have 13-15 year olds worried that they're still virgins and have never found love.

You won't actually realise it until you're there ... but believe me .. sex (and i do mean just sex) is overrated HARD (no pun intended) and so is love.
Just find a member of the opposite sex that you get along with as if it was another dude that you'd consider making your best friend .. only difference is you get to bone that best friend.
Don't go filling you're head with ideas of "love" and "the one" .... there is no "one" ... there are millions.

Don't be too hard on yourself, don't worry too much about the lay, spend the time you worry on developing yourself, even if you suck at being social .. get out there and level up that skill.

 

[Palademon]

I don't know why people are applauding this, it makes me feel like

Because I live by "Why the fuck do anything if I can't do it being me?"

Are you saying you can't take care of your body and your health, dress a little smarter without being you?

If you are, I don't know what to say to you.

I was refering to having to act a certain way, and have your hair a certain way, and not have glasses. Things along those lines.

Confidence, and looking after yourself is fine. But, 10 hours a week at a gym, never complaining, complimenting people's interests every 15 minutes...are you serious that I can't complain about that kind of advice?

 

[Weaver]

I don't know why people are applauding this, it makes me feel like

Because I live by "Why the fuck do anything if I can't do it being me?"

Are you saying you can't take care of your body and your health, dress a little smarter without being you?

If you are, I don't know what to say to you.

He didn't say "Just take better care of yourself" he said what was essentially "devote your whole life to your image." You do not need to spend a minimum of 10 hours a week in a gym and walk around with your chest puffed out and flexing like a gorilla just to stand a chance with women because believe it or not, not all females are the same.

Will some go for the super buff look? Of course; but most of the women I know (being from a math and CS background) wouldn't give you a glance if you can't at least do some rudimentary integral calculus and know the basics of affine transformation matricies.

My real point is different people have different standards and value some things over others.

 

[vacerious]

I don't know why people are applauding this, it makes me feel like

Because I live by "Why the fuck do anything if I can't do it being me?"

Yeah, that block of text felt like a "How to Pick up Chicks 101" lecture from one of those skeezy dudes who's just interested in scoring as often as possible.

Getting in shape and dressing nice/grooming yourself are all good ideas for impressing people, but develop your own style and be yourself (corny advice, but powerful).

The fact that you are labeling such clear-cut advice as a "lecture from one of those skeezy dudes" is exactly what proves that you don't know what you're talking about. Nowhere in his advice did Vigilant say "Act like a skeezy d-bag to score. Also, roofies, bro. Roofies." The advice is solid and anybody who's spent time around women enough or been in an intimate relationship can tell you that he's right. Nigh Invulnerable is closer, but Vigilant still has the award for "Best Advice in Thread."

The key factor in Vigilant's words, the moral of the lecture, is this: feel better about yourself. He's not asking you to change "who you are." That's impossible. What Vigilant is trying to do is give advice on how to feel better about yourself and, as a side effect, look good for the ladies. Let's break it down point by point.

Let me tell you what I learned about 2 years ago: women are as shallow as men. So, here's the secret: work out. A lot. Spend at least ten hours a week in the gym doing high intensity lifting. If you have OCD, even better. Focus that compulsion on your core muscle routine. Drink a good protein isolate. Cut the shit out of your diet.

First off, he's right about women being shallow. Now, I know that those in the gaming community like to exalt their manners, and that's all well and good. But, the fact remains true that when women look good, guys notice, gamer or jock or creep alike. The same applies to women. Women like looking at hot bodies, too. Just look at the Chippendale dancers. They certainly don't make awesome cash because of their personalities.

And working out shouldn't just be "for the ladies." Remember that working out causes the body to release endorphins, causing you to feel good after a workout. If you follow this advice and start hitting the gym more, you'll lose weight, gain muscle, and generally feel better about your appearance. And that confidence makes all the difference.

If you wear glasses, lose 'em. Contacts. If you have acne, stop touching your face and use an exfoliating wash. If you have a stupid haircut, fix it. Something that's masculine but controlled and gets the hair out of your eyes and forehead. If you have a weak chin, grow a well-trimmed goatee. If you have a strong chin, stay clean-shaven all the time. Pluck your eyebrows, trim your nose-hair, and observe good dental hygiene. Stop wearing clothes from Hot Topic. I know everybody here probably thinks that polo shirts are a jock frat boy uniform, but they look good and they're comfortable.

While I don't agree with the glasses line (I happen to look quite suave and unique in my rims, thank you!), the overall point is generally the same: a confident man is a clean man is a handsome man. Taking time to manicure one's appearance says to other people "I have self-respect enough to make sure I look good for you." It makes you look responsible and considerate, and women find this attractive.

The rest is attitude and that's even easier. Stand up straight, chest out, stomach in, lats gently flexed. Remember you're a man and have some fucking pride. Act confident all the time even if you feel like shit. Never complain about anything. Wear a gentle smile and look relaxed. If you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your mouth shut. If you do, say it. Focus on other people's interests in conversation and hit them with them a light, but sincere compliment about the things that matter to them every 15 minutes or so.

Of course, appearance means nothing if you don't act like the 2-litre bottle of well-tempered awesome that you know you are. Women can smell your self-esteem from across the room, and if you don't think you smell good, the ladies won't think so either. Keep in mind that there are over 20 MILLION sperm cells per 2 mL of ejaculate. That means that, just by being born, you were formed from the most successful sperm. Even if you have nothing else, know that you were the one that beat out over 19 million other yous. And aside from Chuck Norris Himself (Hallowed be Thine Name), I don't know anyone else who could defeat 19 million clones of himself.

And don't be so goddamn afraid of rejection. Ask a girl to dance. The worst that could happen is she says no. But my experience is that girls respond well to aggressive moves.

This. This. This! This! THIS! I really have nothing else to add to this gem. If a girl says no, so what. Statistics already show that women now outnumber men in the global population, so one, two, three, or even a hundred girls saying "no" doesn't mean you've failed. And even if they say no, so what? You're an advent to millions of years of evolution, the final product and finest thing produced by your species. She's not interested? That's fine, she'll just have to miss out on the living party that is you.

If you actually do everything I just said, it will change your life. I think people told me these things but I didn't listen to them. I had to learn it on my own.

The same thing happened to me. I used to mope around and wonder why girls weren't attracted to me. And every time, my friends would say "You have to have confidence." But I wouldn't listen. And I spent every year of high school and college a sad lonely sack.

Fast forward to about a year ago. I met this girl at work, and our relationship got very hot very fast. We were going steady for a few months before we eventually drifted apart. (Turns out that, while sex is indeed important, a relationship can't survive on sex alone.) But I walked away a better man. I didn't lament our breakup because I learned about myself. And the first realization, after being locked away in the recesses of my consciousness for nearly nine years, hit me like an unseen brick to the temple: My friends were right the whole time. So when somebody like Vigilant or I spout off advice like this, listen. We want to see you succeed, even if it does mean more competition.

I could type on this all day, but, to save you all some time, look into the seduction community if you're interested in knowing more. They have great advice and are way more knowledgeable than me. You can't steer wrong by turning to them, and they want to see others do well for themselves. But remember that the first step is to look at yourself in the mirror and utter the following words: I'm awesome! and to repeat this first step until you believe it without fail. The awesomeness will follow soon after.

 

[Lyri]

I was refering to having to act a certain way, and have your hair a certain way, and not have glasses. Things along those lines.

Confidence, and looking after yourself is fine. But, 10 hours a week at a gym, never complaining, complimenting people's interests every 15 minutes...are you serious that I can't complain about that kind of advice?

Are you so far out as to complain without considering that the advice isn't just for everyone, that you can take parts of it and others you may feel wouldn't suit you and change them to be appropriate towards yourself?

The advice is sound, I've been working out recently and I feel tonnes better in myself because of it. I don't actually eat any healthier because I'm not a complete gym freak, but my little brother has decide to start protein shakes, p90x and eating healthy.

Different strokes for different folks, but no you don't get to complain because he never forced you to do anything.

He didn't say "Just take better care of yourself" he said what was essentially "devote your whole life to your image." You do not need to spend a minimum of 10 hours a week in a gym and walk around with your chest puffed out and flexing like a gorilla just to stand a chance with women because believe it or not, not all females are the same.

Will some go for the super buff look? Of course; but most of the women I know (being from a math and CS background) wouldn't give you a glance if you can't at least do some rudimentary integral calculus and know the basics of affine transformation matricies.

My real point is different people have different standards and value some things over others.

Neither did he say you have to. It's not about doing this to score bitches and hoez, it's about feeling better in yourself.
Honestly the fact you just think you have to take it at literal value makes your rebuttal completely worthless as you didn't understand the intent in the first place.

If you don't want to do 10 hours but would be comfortable with an hour a day or whatever works for you, then you can do that.
Chicks like people who take care of themselves.

 

[Palademon]

I was refering to having to act a certain way, and have your hair a certain way, and not have glasses. Things along those lines.

Confidence, and looking after yourself is fine. But, 10 hours a week at a gym, never complaining, complimenting people's interests every 15 minutes...are you serious that I can't complain about that kind of advice?

Are you so far out as to complain without considering that the advice isn't just for everyone, that you can take parts of it and others you may feel wouldn't suit you and change them to be appropriate towards yourself?

The advice is sound, I've been working out recently and I feel tonnes better in myself because of it. I don't actually eat any healthier because I'm not a complete gym freak, but my little brother has decide to start protein shakes, p90x and eating healthy.

Different strokes for different folks, but no you don't get to complain because he never forced you to do anything.

The last line of their post made it seem as is anyone is a fool for ignoring it, but they did say to me I could do what I want and they were just giving advice to someone that has given up, and is unhappy. As if following that advice is the way to happiness in that situation. Drastically changing anything just so that people would find you more appealing. Not allowed to complain.

 

[redisforever]

Not entirely, but in spirit that is.

Okay, so I originally typed this out about five days ago initially, but as it turns out...I was a little mean-spirited and vehement in having to type it out. So, I will make this infinitely shorter, and I will be as open to criticism as I possibly can be:

- I am a 25 year old virgin.
- I have a mental onset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (repetitive tasks basically, routine/stereotyped thinking, other strange compulsions).
- I am seldom out and about. My social circles have always been limited.
- I...have absolutely no clue what to do. At all. Flirt, open up conversations out of this air...summoning the damn balls to do so.

You guys seem kind outside of the religious/political forum. Sigh. Humiliating this is.

Hi there! It's like talking to myself! Except you're a bit older than me.

Ok, I'll tell you what I did. Worked for me, don't know if it works for everyone. Make friends with everyone. Try to find girls who share interests with you, and talk about them. Ignore the fact that they are girls, and just talk to them as if they were your friends. Just do what comes naturally from there.

 

[Catchy Slogan]

Let me tell you what I learned about 2 years ago: women are as shallow as men. So, here's the secret: work out. A lot. Spend at least ten hours a week in the gym doing high intensity lifting. If you have OCD, even better. Focus that compulsion on your core muscle routine. Drink a good protein isolate. Cut the shit out of your diet. If you wear glasses, lose 'em. Contacts. If you have acne, stop touching your face and use an exfoliating wash. If you have a stupid haircut, fix it. Something that's masculine but controlled and gets the hair out of your eyes and forehead. If you have a weak chin, grow a well-trimmed goatee. If you have a strong chin, stay clean-shaven all the time. Pluck your eyebrows, trim your nose-hair, and observe good dental hygiene. Stop wearing clothes from Hot Topic. I know everybody here probably thinks that polo shirts are a jock frat boy uniform, but they look good and they're comfortable.

The rest is attitude and that's even easier. Stand up straight, chest out, stomach in, lats gently flexed. Remember you're a man and have some fucking pride. Act confident all the time even if you feel like shit. Never complain about anything. Wear a gentle smile and look relaxed. If you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your mouth shut. If you do, say it. Focus on other people's interests in conversation and hit them with them a light, but sincere compliment about the things that matter to them every 15 minutes or so. And don't be so goddamn afraid of rejection. Ask a girl to dance. The worst that could happen is she says no. But my experience is that girls respond well to aggressive moves.

If you actually do everything I just said, it will change your life. I think people told me these things but I didn't listen to them. I had to learn it on my own.

I don't know why people are applauding this, it makes me feel like

Because I live by "Why the fuck do anything if I can't do it being me?"

The same thoughts I was having. How he's describing how you should act, as if everyone isn't different with thier own personalities. And girls react to 'aggressive moves'? The fuck? No. They may react to someone who's sufficiently self assure, but then again, everyone reacts differently. I can't condone anyone acting aggressively towards anyone else. There is no need.

 

[Palademon]

Let me tell you what I learned about 2 years ago: women are as shallow as men. So, here's the secret: work out. A lot. Spend at least ten hours a week in the gym doing high intensity lifting. If you have OCD, even better. Focus that compulsion on your core muscle routine. Drink a good protein isolate. Cut the shit out of your diet. If you wear glasses, lose 'em. Contacts. If you have acne, stop touching your face and use an exfoliating wash. If you have a stupid haircut, fix it. Something that's masculine but controlled and gets the hair out of your eyes and forehead. If you have a weak chin, grow a well-trimmed goatee. If you have a strong chin, stay clean-shaven all the time. Pluck your eyebrows, trim your nose-hair, and observe good dental hygiene. Stop wearing clothes from Hot Topic. I know everybody here probably thinks that polo shirts are a jock frat boy uniform, but they look good and they're comfortable.

The rest is attitude and that's even easier. Stand up straight, chest out, stomach in, lats gently flexed. Remember you're a man and have some fucking pride. Act confident all the time even if you feel like shit. Never complain about anything. Wear a gentle smile and look relaxed. If you don't have anything interesting to say, keep your mouth shut. If you do, say it. Focus on other people's interests in conversation and hit them with them a light, but sincere compliment about the things that matter to them every 15 minutes or so. And don't be so goddamn afraid of rejection. Ask a girl to dance. The worst that could happen is she says no. But my experience is that girls respond well to aggressive moves.

If you actually do everything I just said, it will change your life. I think people told me these things but I didn't listen to them. I had to learn it on my own.

I don't know why people are applauding this, it makes me feel like

Because I live by "Why the fuck do anything if I can't do it being me?"

The same thoughts I was having. How he's describing how you should act, as if everyone isn't different with thier own personalities. And girls react to 'aggressive moves'? The fuck? No. They may react to someone who's sufficiently self assure, but then again, everyone reacts differently. I can't condone anyone acting aggressively towards anyone else. There is no need.

Well, they said in their experience, so as you say results will vary.

 

[Catchy Slogan]

Well, they said in their experience, so as you say results will vary.

I guess, It was the aggressive comment that got me a bit annoyed. :/

 

[eternal-chaplain]

Not entirely, but in spirit that is.

Okay, so I originally typed this out about five days ago initially, but as it turns out...I was a little mean-spirited and vehement in having to type it out. So, I will make this infinitely shorter, and I will be as open to criticism as I possibly can be:

- I am a 25 year old virgin.
- I have a mental onset of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (repetitive tasks basically, routine/stereotyped thinking, other strange compulsions).
- I am seldom out and about. My social circles have always been limited.
- I...have absolutely no clue what to do. At all. Flirt, open up conversations out of this air...summoning the damn balls to do so.

You guys seem kind outside of the religious/political forum. Sigh. Humiliating this is.

I was listening to Twisted Sister earlier today because when I feel a bit down because of others, it always help to hear "We're not Gonna Take it." I ended listening to the song "The Price" as well. Often I will feel as though I am not good enough for others or I'm just unenjoyable as a person. I question if my friends are really friends. They're great people and I'd do anything for them; I've already done so much, and I just hope they appreciate me for it- but more to the point, there is a fable that I treat as a nearly sacred text:

It is set in the distant future that much like the present. People change their bodies with technology and government makes the world look like a utopia. Everyone works monotonously when they are not entertaining themselves with violent television or sex-obsessed music (Very much like our time). The main character, Zero, used to play in a rock band before this time but has since lived on a house far away from the city. One day he hears God's voice on his radio telling him to use his music to reverse what has become of society. He pulls the band together and meets a girl that he falls in love with. He plays many shows gathering followers and friends (I'm leaving out most of the detail), and when he thinks he has everything, he goes public with his visions and philosophy that no one wants to welcome into their lives because it is so controversial. He looses all his fans, his love leaves him, and he alienates himself from his friends. In the end he realizes that he was doing well enough before all this mess and regrets ever loosing his friends and his love. The moral is the well known "You don't know what you have until it's gone." and I use it as a cautioning tale: to not try and change the world to what you want it to be, but to change your own life to what you want it to be because it begins to reflect off of all you interact with and the world around you feels like a friendlier place to you.

The Twisted Sister Song:

And the first part of the fable (yes it was an animated story):

Don't worry buddy, I've been in your shoes too many times. I'll pray for you if it makes you feel any better, and just know that everyone recovers. Always. It may not look like it from where you stand, but that's what faith is all about.

 

[Lyri]

The last line of their post made it seem as is anyone is a fool for ignoring it, but they did say to me I could do what I want and they were just giving advice to someone that has given up, and is unhappy. As if following that advice is the way to happiness in that situation. Drastically changing anything just so that people would find you more appealing. Not allowed to complain.

In some ways you are, in some ways you aren't. It is however the truth of the matter that looking healthier and acting confident will get you more success generally.
Following that advice will probably make him happier, I was a typical gamer kid who for the most part lead an unhealthy lifestyle.
I visted my girlfriend for 3 months in the United States and whilst she was at work I spent most of my time dwelling in her basement (Huur durr stereotype).
Down there though was an X-trainer (running machine) and a Bow flex (full body work out) that I was intrigued by so I used it when they were all out.

The X-trainer had a 20 minute running programme that I used and I worked until I felt I couldn't and shouldn't go on with the bowflex.
I barely did more than an hour a day and I felt great, more confident in my increased mass and health. It was a good feeling and everyone else got that vibe too.

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

Snipped for convenience for everyone else

I'm not saying Valiant is a skeezbag, just that his schtick comes across like an overly edited/designed by committee piece of advertising for a "How to pick up chicks" manual or something. I appreciate most of the sentiments in his advice, but it does come across as slightly insulting since the entire thing can be interpreted as a "stop acting and looking like stereotypical geeks and man up". It can also be seen as reinforcing stereotypes of masculinity as being muscular, clean shaven, short hair, etc. which aren't really applicable as broadly as he thinks.

 

[Nigh Invulnerable]

I don't know why people are applauding this, it makes me feel like

Because I live by "Why the fuck do anything if I can't do it being me?"

Are you saying you can't take care of your body and your health, dress a little smarter without being you?

If you are, I don't know what to say to you.

He didn't say "Just take better care of yourself" he said what was essentially "devote your whole life to your image." You do not need to spend a minimum of 10 hours a week in a gym and walk around with your chest puffed out and flexing like a gorilla just to stand a chance with women because believe it or not, not all females are the same.

Will some go for the super buff look? Of course; but most of the women I know (being from a math and CS background) wouldn't give you a glance if you can't at least do some rudimentary integral calculus and know the basics of affine transformation matricies.

My real point is different people have different standards and value some things over others.

I'm agreeing with the bolded part. Maybe that's not the intention, but it sure came across that way to me too. I've met people who take all that time to maintain their image, and they have tended to be the kind of people I would never spend time with, and they seem to have a lot of shallow relationships that don't go anywhere. I'm all for taking time to ride bikes or do something else athletic, but losing the glasses in favor of contacts, plucking eyebrows and trimming nosehair, and other higher maintenance things seem excessive. I trim the nosehairs when they get a bit long, and stray long eyebrows get pulled out randomly, but the kind of regiment suggested doesn't work for everyone.

EDIT: I just noted Lyri's thought about "dress a little 'smarter'" and was wondering how that can be defined. There's no standard of dress that will attract every girl. I figure people should dress to the level they hope to achieve and not all end up in polos with the collars popped.

 

[funguy2121]

OP hit the mark with the comment about the balls. It doesn't seem that simple, but it is. Everything else is just window dressing, aside from paying attention to what works and not expecting the same experiences to repeat themselves exactly. Keep putting yourself out there, and it will get easier. Also try to live/work/play amongst people like yourself.

I went to a college town having never really even kissed a girl. I had two year-long relationships in that town, dated seven women, and slept with a half dozen more. White, black, Mexican, Puerto Rican, Chinese, Redhead, blonde, brunette. Punk girls, hippie-in-spirit-and-not-in-dress women, "normies." Since I've left, I've lived in 3 different towns and haven't had more than the occasional (and I do mean occasional) one night stand with an equally desperate woman. But here's what was special about that town.

It was a college town. I liberal arts college town, and a music nook. Pretty much every young person in that town knew who the Pixies were, and knew Modest Mouse 5 years before they were on the radio. Tons and tons of film geeks, and a metric shit-ton of hot, young girls who love gaming - not "like" gaming to seem cool but actually love gaming. So it was a nerd/hippie/punk/hipster town, and again, being a college town, everybody drank, and also ___, more often than they should.

Unfortunately, I drank until I could not any more (at least if I wanted to live what could in fairness be called a "life), so I don't have that last advantage working for me any more.

All this rambling to say: find a place where you get along with a lot of people, and stay there.